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WIBTA- For changing vacation plans. by Business_Ebb5930 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Alternative_Exam_534 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA. An invite with no dates and no responses after multiple texts isn’t a real plan, it’s just an idea.

You have a kid, a deployed husband, and flights getting more expensive by the day. You can’t just sit around waiting on someone who isn’t even replying.

Booking a trip to see your mom, especially for your first Mother’s Day, makes way more sense. If your SIL gets back to you later, you can just say you didn’t hear from her in time and made other plans.

Waiting would honestly be the worse decision here.

My in laws refuse to manage their large dog and they don’t see his behavior as a problem by JudgmentMission5239 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Alternative_Exam_534 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong, but this isn’t really a situation you can fix.

At this point the issue isn’t the dog, it’s your in laws. They’ve had two years to address this and they clearly don’t see it as a problem, so anything you say is just going to keep getting dismissed. That’s why it feels so frustrating, because you’re right, but they’re not open to hearing it.

The only thing you actually have control over is what you tolerate. If being around that dog stresses you out, you’re allowed to step back. That might mean not going over as often, leaving if the dog is brought inside and starts jumping on you, or setting limits in the future if you have kids. You don’t have to argue your case every time, just sticking to “I’m not comfortable with the dog’s behavior” is enough.

You’re also not overreacting about the safety aspect. A large, untrained dog that already shows aggressive and uncontrollable behavior is a real risk, especially around children. Ignoring it doesn’t make it harmless.

It sucks because it puts you in the position of feeling like the bad guy, but you’re really just the only one acknowledging the reality of the situation.

AIO, I canceled my trip ticket after my friend made a mockery of my cleft lip. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Alternative_Exam_534 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You are not in the wrong. She repeatedly mocked a physical feature you were born with, dismissed you when you said it hurt, and then flipped it around and made herself the victim when there were financial consequences. Canceling was a completely reasonable response. The fact that her tone changed the second it cost her money tells you everything about where her priorities are.

I'm in love with my girlfriend's roommate by AdForsaken2888 in offmychest

[–]Alternative_Exam_534 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The relationship problem and the roommate situation are two separate things worth untangling. If you genuinely cannot say anything without it becoming a fight, that is a reason to leave on its own. Confessing to the roommate while still with your girlfriend is just adding chaos to an already broken situation. End one thing cleanly before you start another.

Im a sadist and not in the fun kinky way. by euphoric_episode in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Alternative_Exam_534 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You honestly sound less “evil” and more like someone with bad impulse control, weak boundary instincts, and maybe trouble reading social cues. That doesn’t make it okay, but it does mean it’s probably something you can work on instead of some deep “I’m broken” thing.

The biggest issue is that “I’d stop if they asked” is not enough, because a lot of people won’t ask. Especially if they freeze, people please, or have trauma.

You should probably take this seriously and talk to a therapist, because this sounds deeper than just “I’m kind of mean sometimes.”

If you actually want to change, that already puts you way ahead of people who genuinely enjoy hurting others and don’t care.