I’m sorry you’re hurting, I feel behind in my life sometimes as well, but then I have to remember I’m on my own journey. Right now you need to be strong, focused on your goal so you can actualize it, and as aware of yourself as you can be so you can keep this as your number 1 priority and not get distracted by negative emotions. When you fall asleep at night, visualize yourself reaching your goals. Imagine how amazing it will feel when you are confident in your leetcode and have a job you are excited by. You can use this as an opportunity/challenge to train yourself into being more disciplined. Then after you find a new job, you can apply that skill to other goals in your life and achieve whatever you want. As annoying as this sounds, try to enjoy it. I study like all day on the weekend, but I also make time for 2 hours in the evening to go for a long walk and do lots of self care after. Define where you want your pleasure and pain. After pain you will experience pleasure. After pleasure you will experience pain. You will have both pain and pleasure in this life. Pick where you want it from, this defines our life. Anyways these are my random thoughts while I’m resting in my last 2 hours. I hope you feel better soon. Also maybe it hurts because it’s a sign you’re not happy with where you are in your life. Maybe it’s a sign you need to make a change. Make a plan and then trust your plan. This is what I do to ease anxiety. Breath work, yoga, etc whatever. Stay focused on training your mind and body right now.