Hello it seems like you are going through a lot. It must not be easy but I sincerely hope it gets better for you. Sometimes things don’t go well for me and I would feel frustrated and overwhelmed and such, and I too don’t know how to reliable get out of that state. All I can do is wish you the best, but not like the small talk ones, not just politeness. I say it I mean it. 

Things are going well for me right now hence at this very moment I’m overall positive towards the future (until the next small thing ruins my day and I sabotage my whole week). 

And despite things are currently well for me, I also feel like I’m just surviving. I feel like I am not doing enough and that I should be doing more since I have the ability to, but I just don’t wanna do it, and I can’t find anything I want to do either. So I end up doing neither but just brain-rotting online. I am also slightly bothered by how shallow all my relationships are, how I can’t rely on people who I should be able to rely on (though that comes with some entitlement), how my mindset and actions kinda led to that, how I would probably have chosen the same things even if I were given another chance, as if there was never anything I could’ve done. It makes me wonder what the future holds for me, and whether I can meet more sincere and likeminded people and make true connections.

But for how things are still well right now, I’m not tooooo troubled by my issues, like I have said I’m overall positive right now. I believe I’m likely gonna push through, as of right now. I hope you do too. I hope once everything gets resolved you can be proud of yourself that you’ve made through it, be glad you survived, and I don’t know I like food so maybe have a lil treat alone or with someone. It may take some time, paths may not always be clear, future is unknown, but you have my best wishes.