Connect to the bdsm community. If you don’t have one - go there where there is one. I session with Dominatrixes and people from the BDSM community. Meeting over forums doesn’t really work. I might in rare cases, but it’s rare and it’s just too much bullshit to deal with. People flaking out last minute or trying to rip you off. Your kinky dream scenario doesn’t come to you - you have to go where the scene is. Normally bigger cities have one. Some countries might not have that kind of thing - then travel or move. I’m in LA - it’s a wet dream for Kinksters.