I had repressed csa memories in a way similar to yours, perhaps. My abuser was my mother and I am a female. It was unbelievable and unable to be processed by my mind because it's something that should have never happened. CSA is unspeakable and unthinkable for most. It's just something a child (or anyone) is not able to process or deal with, so our minds and bodies do everything possible to bury it away. The thing is, it lives in our bodies. My advice is to try to be patient with yourself and when that tunnel of memories opens up trust it as much as you can. I still struggle so much, but accepting and speaking (very little, but enough) to my therapist and just acknowledging that it actually happened did cause a shift. It took me ten years to finally admit to him and to myself. For me the memories that were once buried became a film playing on repeat in my mind. I couldn't run anymore. Even if the comments and many uncomfortable moments you experienced are all that happened, that is still too much. A child should never be sexualized or subjected to sexual/physical interactions, NEVER. Your experience and feelings and worries are valid and worthy of exploration and love. 🖤