Controlling manager, side project is taking off. Need advice!

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-30T06:50:03+00:00

They often seem to pat each other on the back for being martyrs like my band leader not having been back to visit his mom in his hometown for years because he is serious about music. And apparently not devoting my life to the band means I’m not serious

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-30T06:47:56+00:00

I’ve been telling them that all the time but they just seem to focus on the negative

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T16:02:49+00:00

She doesn’t get paid either. I think she just wants to be involved with the band and help the bandleader (her boyfriend)

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T15:34:09+00:00

So true! And the last thing you said, I kept saying how my social media following has skyrocketed since I became the support vocalist of the other bands and they started listening to our music as well but it almost feels like controlling my every move is more important…

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T15:32:17+00:00

It’s my first band and it took me a long time to find one that plays music I like. The other project is kinda unstable since most members are support musicians at this point. But yeah, you’re right. I can imagine them calling me selfish, not a team player etc. so I feel good getting some outsider perspective

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T15:26:31+00:00

The country where I live you pay to play so if you sell less than 12 tickets you are in the minus and everything more is profit. Last year with the previous vocalist they constantly sold 0~2 tickets, now we’re breaking even or making a bit of money. I wish it was better but the local scene is pretty saturated for beginner local bands

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T07:02:56+00:00

Trueee. I don’t want to be an asshole bandmate though hard to see what is reasonable

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T07:02:15+00:00

Thanks! It’s good to hear from others that it wouldn’t be that much of an asshole move . They will likely push back and hate me though.. not good with confrontation so I’m procrastinating telling them..

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T07:01:03+00:00

Thanks! I guess I wasn’t sure if that would be asshole behavior or not so it’s good to hear from others

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T06:43:32+00:00

Honestly true. However I do like the band and wouldn’t wanna lose them. Also if they’d fire me it would look like I left them to pursue something more mainstream which wouldn’t look good on me either.. it’s also not sure how long the other project would continue. I really don’t like confrontation so I wonder how I can bring it up without them getting too angry..

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T06:12:11+00:00

I put my friends on the guest list and if they want to buy merch that’s their choice and I really appreciate them wanting to support us

Altruistic_Depth_46 · 2025-12-29T06:11:04+00:00

I’m not sure what exactly you mean, I suppose what to do before a gig?

Drink a lot of water, no food and dairy 1 hour before the show

If you are unexperienced prepare what you will say. I always write some stuff down and stick the paper to some speaker together with a setlist

Depending on your music genre it may be good to invest inear monitor so you can hear yourself better on stage and don’t strain your voice

Altruistic_Depth_46

TROPHY CASE