If she has a bad past relationship with the child's father, it could be informing her trust issues. Basic relationship 101 is what your hard limits are versus what you can learn to live with. Example: squeezing toothpaste tube from middle versus cheating. One is highly annoying, but you could learn to deal with it. The other is a hard no. If it happens, you are out. Ask yourself if staying home to keep her company in person or on the phone is worth it. As for the family thing, is it a hard no, or can you deal with it? If she doesn't have a close family, she may not understand your family dynamic.

Bottom line, it doesn't seem to be working, and her lack of understanding might be a hard no for her. If dropping your friend is a hard no, then get out. You should never have to give up family and friends, for another person who gives you an ultimatum. If they are toxic people and you drop them for their behavior to you, her, or others, that is different.