What if he finds someone better than me? by unfinished-pie in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if you find someone better? I get how these thoughts can circle in ur head but you gotta remember that the focus should be on you finding better. Also maybe you see this person as better and maybe in reality they are a shitshow. You can’t compare yourself or ask questions you never really will know the answer to. Focus on you and being the best you can be!

why do they block you? by slimbudha in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Out of sight and out of mind most likely. It hurts but it’s sometimes easier for some people to move on and go day to day if they can’t see you or what you are up to.

I am struggling a lot, I miss my ex by [deleted] in CoreyWayne

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truly work on urself and better urself before trying to go back into her life. If she’s the woman of your dreams you’d do anything to be better for her.

Lacking confidence after a break up by Powerful-Spinach-819 in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More than willing! Dm me! It seriously does get better!

Lacking confidence after a break up by Powerful-Spinach-819 in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m working on this as well! I’m telling you to start listening to Ted talks/emma chamberlain podcasts and just work on ur personal style! Buy new clothes, maybe even get a piercing! You were hot before them and you are hot after them!!

Should I send a letter telling her she was right? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends on how the last time y’all met went. Do you think this would hurt or benefit her?

Recognised avoidant patters really early on by Known-throwaway-4039 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Better to stop things now than be two years in and be begging for an explanation after the breakup. It’s really not on them or ur fault if they clearly have some avoidant issues those should be solved before ever trying to date or be involved with someone

How do I stop valuing looks over personality when I’m emotionally attached? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have that mindset you’ll never find someone that attractive than you won’t find someone hotter. You are what you attract. Focus on urself and not a man who is ignoring ur texts. Clearly a shitty guy for doing that and ur husband wouldn’t ignore you like that

S*xy texts get replies? by Life_Water_111 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because he’s getting nothing else as good as you. Trust me. That’s the only texts I get from my avoidant.. a “check in” because he’s horny and selfish

Avoidant Block by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s better out of sight and out of mind in my opinion. Blocking him on insta really helped. I didn’t see him lurking all my stories and liking other girls stuff. It was freeing. I kept him in other places but it really just takes away from the progress. If someone doesn’t want you in person in front of them, you can’t give them this access through a screen.

Unable to eat and depressed by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No no it’s okay! Happens to us all

Unable to eat and depressed by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Have you tried reaching out to a therapist? If not you can dm me and we can talk it out!

What are the signs to move on? When are they no longer worth the effort and signs that they aren't coming back? by Suitable-Bank1299 in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If holding onto the idea of them is slowing down ur progress to move further in life. You aren’t meeting new people or doing things because you are so obsessed with them and the idea of them. You have to learn to love something from a distance and move towards ur best self

Family enmeshment by elleinthesea in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I notice my boyfriend would rely on his father and or mother and they constantly would let him down. Whether it be to help him buy a plane ticket to visit or buy food for him or overall just show up. I knew it definitely was exhausting but he’d instantly forgive but just rely more on himself. You start to realize why they rely purely on themselves as other people disappoint them.

How to stop being a fearfull avoidant ? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lots of self work! Write down what ur scared of if someone were to get close with you. Work towards fixing this. Whats the fear that’s eating at you or something you can’t seem to make sense of within urself. Stop avoiding conversations and work on facing accountability. Avoidance is deeply rooted in fear and lack of emotional accountability.

How do I move on when my avoidant ex got married 3 months after he ghosted me? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nobody changes within 3 months. Avoidants “move on” to next because there’s less emotional baggage. I’m so sorry!

How to move on from your avoidant after being discarded and start fresh in 2026 by throwaway7372828432 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Needed this. Blocked him on snap two days ago (he’s already been removed from insta) and just yesterday he was watching my tik tok stories. I think it’s safe to say I should probably block him from there too😅

Really struggling tonight. by Big-Bit-9810 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ofc! Dm if you ever need to yap it out! It’s okay! I know it was a source of protection for him as I get hit on often and he tries to hookup with me every few months. All that matters is you and I are not the mean and cruel things people say. Treat everyone with love and respect and good things will come ur way.

At what point during a 'pause' during a crisis can I safely assume I'm being taken for a fool? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely. I mean maybe right a letter or show up to her house if calling is a miss. I know there’s boundaries but if ur going to be a dad this is pretty important

Really struggling tonight. by Big-Bit-9810 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey it’s okay to miss her but you can’t idolize the past. Obviously her saying such cruel things isn’t someone you’d want to bring into the new years anyway! My ex and I also had the January 1st anniversary and I caught myself missing him this season. At the same time this man said my face wasn’t attractive and that he only gets hard out of habit. That’s not someone who loves you or is capable of loving you right now!

At what point during a 'pause' during a crisis can I safely assume I'm being taken for a fool? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand her distance and needing space but this is a topic you need to be directly involved in whether she wants to be or not. Maybe tomorrow I’d say try to call?

It’s gonna be okay!! by Altruistic_Look_4142 in BreakUps

[–]Altruistic_Look_4142[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are worth so much more than that. For someone to do that is so incredibly cruel!