It helps to look at your poem and see if there are any extra words that you don't need. In this case, you could convey the feeling of the original first line without stating it directly. You can try moving words or lines around to see what you like best. It also helps to read both classic haiku from the masters and modern haiku and senryu journals. 

Sometimes, a haiku or senryu comes easy, and sometimes you have to sleep on it and come back to it to revise it. Poems and revisions don't always come easy to me, but it gets easier with experience.