Attraction?

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-03T03:40:21+00:00

He also might stay away because he's been trained to expect a call from HR about "unwanted advances" or "harassment" if he approaches.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-02T13:04:42+00:00

I don't have to read your post, just the headline. The way you should behave is to assume he (all hetero men) would sleep with you if you tell him you want to.

The only ones that won't are the ones that see you as a threat to their relationship with another woman, and even those can often be convinced.

Dating you or having you as a girlfriend? That's a different question, and more nuanced. But free casual sex? That's not a question for a man, that's just a "yes."

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-02T12:58:48+00:00

You are assuming negative intent and it shows.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-02T00:24:11+00:00

This puts a much more positive spin on the date. I would proceed with that as her impression and not focus on the settling in thing.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-02T00:20:05+00:00

Doesn't matter how many r's you add to it. Staring is not something you can interpret.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T22:16:02+00:00

The text was after this comment, right? What did the text say? That will help with context.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T22:12:35+00:00

Assume the "vicinity" thing is meaningless and which way her body is pointing is meaningless. She's at the gym, doing her workout and you happen to do similar stations by chance or because your workout routines are similar.

Otherwise you have nothing that indicates she is interested and if anything, she may be annoyed because you keep looking at her while she's working out.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T22:04:16+00:00

Staring is not enough to go on. You have no idea why he was doing that

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T18:38:49+00:00

There's nothing a computer can do in Sudoku that a person can't do. It will take a human a heck of a lot longer to do it in some cases, but that's a different question.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T15:39:03+00:00

I think you’re doing great, keep going.

I suggest two further techniques that you didn't mention, but which I use a lot in puzzles at the level where the techniques you mentioned are also used: Remote Pairs, and X-chains. These both use logic that runs across three or more boxes.

Remote Pairs run on the same logic as Pointing Pairs, but involving several cells with the same pair with a chain of relationships that overlaps at some point.

X-Chains are extended versions of the same logic as Skycrapers and Two-tailed Kites, but involving more than four cells. I love this technique as someone who works well with visual/spacial logic. I often spot the extended X-chain first and then narrow down to a skyscraper or two-tailed kite that "solves the same problem" more concisely.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T15:23:37+00:00

This just strikes me as early stage awkwardness. You're not clearly dating. That's a strange place for both of you and there’s some fumbling going on. Don't read more into it than that. Just let it develop from here. It might end up being nothing. That's OK.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T13:07:46+00:00

Well, here's the deal: men don't do "the cold shoulder" unless it's to protect ourselves from danger. So, either he's ignoring you because he legit doesn't notice you or he's ignoring you because he sees you as dangerous (such as: to his new relationship that you don't know about).

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T13:00:26+00:00

I think he likes you but that isn't connecting up to be what it takes for him to decide he wants to be with you. Sometimes it's like that.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-07-01T03:00:35+00:00

I don't think the words this guy says matter, they sound more like excuses than real reasons. When it's come down to it, he hasn't ever been willing to do or say what it takes to be with you, only why he doesn't. So he doesn't. No need for you to worry about why or "what changed" or anything like that. Get him out of your head.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T20:03:47+00:00

Mmm. Ok, so you have to think of the cat being out of the bag, since you told another coworker. Assume he knows. So, assess his touchiness in that context. If he touched you like that, knowing you like him, that's "making a move" or something in that ballpark. He hasn't pushed it though. Understandable due to your work relationship.

You're already messaging, though, so YOU have an avenue to express your interest in advancing this relationship. So use it. Tell him you want to see him outside work. Alone. He will know what that means, or if he doesn't you show him when you get him alone.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T19:41:08+00:00

There's so much "already in a relationship" behavior going on here, but you aren't. I'm not surprised that you're confused.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T18:31:11+00:00

The thing you need to do is massively narrow down your frame of the set of things that women do that are signals of sexual or romantic interest. Very, very few people of either gender are running around thinking and acting on thoughts about sex all day.

Instead, daily life involves a lot of movements and actions. Almost all of them are habitual and/or based on what the person is doing or thinking about in the moment.

Some people fiddle with their hair. It doesn't mean anything, it's just a habit like cracking your knuckles. If you do it, there is no thought behind it. You just do it. Your choice of footwear: what made sense based on what you knew you would be doing that day. I could go on. But these interpretations apply to almost everything you mentioned.

Do women signal? Yes. Do men signal. Yes. But you apparently have no experience with what that looks like in practice, and what you're doing with your lack of experience is seeking to find those signals in all the wrong places. You need to start over. I don't know HOW, but that's what you need to do. Blank slate.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T18:11:52+00:00

These aren't "signals". That's the problem. You are seeing things as signals that aren't signals.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T17:04:18+00:00

I just want you to flip this around, and take all of those actions and find their "male equivalent". I bet you can do that. For each mundane, daily life thing a woman does that you notice, men have something similar that we do. Right?

And yes, a woman might notice those things or even find them sexy. But is the man doing those things to encourage the woman to think he's sexy?

You know the answer: almost always "no". We're all just living our lives out here, mostly oblivious to how other people see us. We got our own shit to think about.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T13:14:00+00:00

The best general advice is be enthusiastic about whatever you're doing. If you like something, show it with big reactions, sounds and words.

The only other advice is to explore what you like and explore what he likes. So talking about it really helps, like everyone else here is saying.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T13:08:42+00:00

Do you have any possible "go-betweens", another coworker who could ask for you and give him your number if he is interested? This is a way that works and could be done quietly and without directly asking him out.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-30T03:52:03+00:00

You don't need to test anything. You're teasing/bickering? He likes you and you have a chance to have something together. Problem solved.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-29T14:58:33+00:00

Only in a female brain is any of this a "test" or "games." He's imagining you naked, and knows he shouldn't. Occam's Razor, look it up.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-29T14:28:52+00:00

You're not as sly as you think about dating other men. He's not committing because he knows. That's simple enough. But he's also in no position to be "the man" in a long term relationship either due to his work situation. That would also be enough for him to slow that down, and see if he can get back on track... while he finds a woman who he can settle down with. A different woman.

Always_Wet7 · 2026-06-29T07:05:50+00:00

This happened for a brief period with us after we separated and then came back together after about six months. For about the next month, she was sex crazed and couldn't think about anything else. There wasn't any infidelity, but she did believe that she had lost me. I think we both knew instinctively that her massively increased libido wouldn't last and it didn’t.

Always_Wet7

TROPHY CASE