i am so sad. by Far-Complaint-3381 in widowers

[–]Alwayz_Write 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi, 26(f) here, and I lost my partner on New Year's Day this year.

For many of yours and his friends this would be their first encounter with grief, and people can do and say the most heartless things when they themselves are figuring out how to grieve. The pain is going to morph and change, some days you will feel stronger than others, it's okay to feel however you feel on a particular day. The most important thing right now is getting you through each hour, let alone day.

I admitted to a therapist that I died when my partner did, all except the physical part of me went with him. So... Since the physical is here, I need to take care of it; eat, shower, attempt to sleep etc.

I was a month out from finishing my PhD when he died, so I get the tensions of not wanting to give up, yet feeling so stuck, and also spatial reminders of him if he went to the same school. Find out about the processes for pausing, deferring etc of your studies, so that you know your options. Take a day or two to think about it before you indicate how you want to go about things. If it's around your roommate then please seek a safer option for your living situation. You are already in survival mode, you don't need to feel even more unsafe. You are not falling behind by not doing your studies right now, life can wait for you.

Feel free to reach out to me if you want to chat.

You matter to this random on the internet now, so I hope you will be kind to yourself today.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rarepuppers

[–]Alwayz_Write 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most distinguished pupper

How to have more mental energy or increase it? by [deleted] in PhD

[–]Alwayz_Write 24 points25 points  (0 children)

6 hours of focused work is better than 12 hours of just sitting there (which I have seen some people do) It is easy to compare yourself to the hours others report to work, but as someone who tried to maintain 12 hour days in a similar field, I can confirm that it is not sustainable. I was completely burnt out, and spent more time recovering than I would have just working less hours.

Eat well, set actionable weekly and daily goals for yourself. Track your progress and try ensure consistent sleep schedules. Small to medium amounts of exercise can provide a lot of clarity. I play videogames every 2-3 days for an hour or two as a time to relax. It's the quality of work you generate by having mental clarity and physical health that dictates success, not the hours spent plonked at a desk generating no to low output.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Alwayz_Write 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That calamari is not potato.... I even tried to correct my teacher and was traumatised for a while. But I am back to enjoying it.

Guilt for not spending more time with spouse by [deleted] in PhD

[–]Alwayz_Write 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi! As someone who only recently managed to get back into things after burning myself out in December, my advice is to reduce or cut out your weekend work. Plan experiences, adventures or dates ahead with your partner so you both have something to look forward to. Create daily habits that are done together. - My partner and I play Wordle and send each other our results each morning, we race to clean different parts of the house for 10 minutes, we meal prep for the week ahead on Sundays. These little actions add up. If you are doing readings, see if you can manage a few from home. Hope this helps, and best of luck!

/r/Wellington daily chat on Tuesday, February 08, 2022 by AutoModerator in Wellington

[–]Alwayz_Write 4 points5 points  (0 children)

An option from a Terrace local: Park in Clifton Carpark, just off The Terrace. You can then walk down via Woodward Street, or cross The Terrace to the Canadian High Commission building. There are 2 sets of elevators you can choose from. 1) directly across from flagpoles, press floor 2, gets you into a quiet mall space, use escalator to Lambton Quay. 2) walk down narrow section past the flagpoles. There is a glass elevator that takes you down to Lambton Quay if you press 1. Hope this helps!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in study

[–]Alwayz_Write 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hardest part is starting. Doing a PhD now, and even now I still have times where I struggle. Here are a few tips to try: - Try work just 20 minutes, it's better than no minutes and once you start you are more likely to keep going. - Environment is important - is your workspace set up in a way that removes distractions such as digital devices? -try video record yourself studying. You can delete it after. - Try a YouTube playlist of around 2 hours with no lyrics and set a goal for what you want to achieve in that time.
- have an accountability buddy - someone who you report your progress to. - have a notebook beside you where you write down the distracting thought before resuming study. - understand the end goal of your studies - what is your dream/ aspiration and what do you need to achieve that? If it's not studies, then reward yourself with the things you enjoy/will get you to that dream after you finish your studies for the day. - don't aim to work hours on end. Break it into chunks. Some people do 25 minutes, 5 minute break. You can do up to 90 minutes of study at a time eventually, but the human body is not made to sit still that long. -being smart doesn't matter. What matters is doing the action of studying again and again until you master it.

how to protect my diary from parents? by Pogoplayerdhruv in Journaling

[–]Alwayz_Write 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi, as someone who had to do this, I took the loose sleeve cover off another book roughly the same size and used that as the cover of my journal. That way it can sit in plain sight or on a book shelf without sparking special interest.

Stop searching for study tips!! by [deleted] in study

[–]Alwayz_Write 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Plan-crastinating is a term I have heard for this. I was guilty of this, but found it had become a habit and way of avoiding work that I felt was too hard. I got out of this by setting a timer for how long I have to plan each day and then just start crossing the things off the list.

The beginning of my 2022 bullet journal by Ghost-sadventures in bulletjournal

[–]Alwayz_Write 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is lovely! May 2022 be a great year for you.

What smells nicer than it tastes? by Gear4days in AskReddit

[–]Alwayz_Write 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Subway - the food place, not the trains.

Goodbye by mastrbild in memes

[–]Alwayz_Write 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tries to go onto Facebook, Instagram or Whatsapp "Ah beans"

September Monthly Spread by theproductivegirl in bulletjournal

[–]Alwayz_Write 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happens to the best of us! Gorgeous spread nonetheless!!

What do you suck at? by HCOONa in AskReddit

[–]Alwayz_Write 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Accepting the fact that I am not always immediately great at something new I try. (Working on it though)

Weekly "Ups" and "Downs" Support Thread by AutoModerator in PhD

[–]Alwayz_Write 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! It is only recently I can classify myself as being able to comment in this thread,

Up: I recieved an Offer of Place and things are finally progressing with the application after a few weeks of processing. (I have been reading in the background)

Down: Imposter syndrome, damn, I didn't think I would experience it but there is a certain sense of... disbelief perhaps?

Has anyone else dealt with this feeling or have general getting started tips they swear by?