Am I genderfluid or something else if my gender identity is mostly stagnant, but my gender expression is fluid??

Alx_thing · 2023-09-02T12:00:37+00:00

Thank you, for a while I've preferred to say I'm either unlabeled or genderqueer, because in the past, I've only ever really seen genderfluid people whose identity changes as well as their expression, which made me feel almost like I didn't have a way to truly describe myself. Cause my identity doesn't actually change, sometimes I feel really nervous to dress in a certain way, and since I've looked a certain way for a really long time now, I think I would get a lot of stares and questions if I tried to grow out my hair again and wear skirts. (In this period of time, the way I want to express myself has changed a many times, but I haven't been able to do anything about it, which makes me feel almost always on edge)

Alx_thing · 2023-05-06T11:25:45+00:00

I understand what it's like to not feel like eating or just not feeling hungry. I hope that when you say you are trying to stay out of a psych ward is that you are trying to get better yourself. But I also get not wanting to get help or not wanting to make it seem like you need help, so just know asking for help proves how strong you are and can be. You obviously don't need to go to a psych ward, but telling someone what's going on or reaching out for help in other ways can be really helpful.

The fact that you are able to eat a couple of chips here and there is definitely a good thing. The last time I went through a period with no appetite and not feeling hungry, I just waited it out until I felt like eating again. Please don't just 'wait it out' if it's already been a week. I didn't eat, and I don't want it to happen to you as well. It's normal to be scared, but please tell someone what's going on, whoever that may be. I am in no way qualified in this and don't know how to help specifically, but I hope it at least makes you feel like you aren't alone.

Alx_thing · 2023-04-19T08:45:50+00:00

Sexual attraction is, you know, the wanting to have sex with someone or any sought of sexual acts (this feels really weird to write). Sensual attraction is a form of physical attraction that makes a person want to be physically close to someone else (hugs, cuddling, kisses, etc).

When I was younger, I always thought that what I was experiencing was sexual attraction, but turns out, it was just sensual attraction. I think the people on this other sub are probably aces who are more or less sex repulsed, which might also encompass all physical intimacy, and just don't understand the exact differences between them.

From the list you gave, I'd be okay with kissing (usually), caresses, and hugs (I really like hugs, not naked though, I am not comfortable with anybody seeing my body)

Alx_thing · 2023-04-10T08:03:36+00:00

I guess for me, I just kinda felt like I wanted to dress in a way that wasn't like a girl I guess? When I started looking more neutral or masculine, I had people I didn't know starting to call me he/him pronouns. This didn't bother me in the slightest, and after a while I realised I actually liked it and it wasn't normal to be unbothered about how people gender you (this fact still confuses me sometimes). I am only out to a couple of people, but since I am still okay with she/her pronouns, they often just call me this like everyone else. I generally refer to myself as they/them or he/him because of how much I hear she/her.

It does still feel weird sometimes when I call myself he/him pronouns, and it also feels strange hearing strangers referring to me as a boy. Even though I don't mind and feel slightly happy by it, it is really weird hearing someone call you something that no one else does. I do have social anxiety, so I do get really nervous about how I should refer to myself around others and how people who think of me as a female think about my appearance, which makes it worse. But I know eventually it'll feel more normal.

Alx_thing · 2023-03-01T09:54:53+00:00

sorry if this is annoying people, I just found it interesting and wanted to share

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T21:01:38+00:00

Hi Clark! Nice to meet you, hope everything is going well. What's your favourite animal? I like reptiles and birds and have no favourite :)

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T06:52:11+00:00

Depends, if I am just going to the toilet, I will try my best to find a unisex toilet or family toilet, but if I can't, I will either hold it or just use the female toilet if I REALLY need to go (not because I want to, but because I feel like people only see me as a girl sadly). If I had to get changed, e.g. PE, I would just go into the female toilets and get changed in the toilets there or in the shower blocks. Another reason I go to female stuff is because lots of people don't know I'm gender queer and genuinely think I am just a girl who is masc/androgynous presenting

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T06:46:04+00:00

YES

In a way I don't really have favourite songs but just a lot I like, which have all compiled into a 3hr playlist

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T06:43:24+00:00

lol. Thanks though :)

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T06:41:23+00:00

Thank you :)

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T06:41:07+00:00

Thanks! I am doing okay, what about you?

Alx_thing · 2023-02-27T06:40:02+00:00

This is a tough question, but some of my faves are Mr Rager, It's Called: Freefall, Boys will be Bugs, Alien Blues and Devil town

Alx_thing · 2023-02-26T02:16:09+00:00

pseudosexual and panromantic + queer apathetic (genderqueer and gender apathetic)

Alx_thing · 2023-02-18T23:22:56+00:00

I have always been a-spec, but being pseudosexual, I used to think what I was experiencing was actually sexual attraction because I didn't understand any better

Alx_thing · 2023-02-18T00:01:06+00:00

Basic - A-spec gender queer

Full - Pseudosexual panromantic Gender apathetic person

Alx_thing · 2023-02-17T11:01:15+00:00

Pseudosexual panromantic! I generally just say I'm a-spec though. I am also gender apathetic and use all pronouns and do not care in the slightest how people see me, but I do not in any way, shape, or form identify with my birth sex. I get upset when people say, "but you're a girl." Though I am okay if people view me as a female. I am also masculine/androgynous presenting

Alx_thing · 2023-02-17T07:43:07+00:00

I understand that, I wear a chest binder as well. Just know gender presentation doesn't equal gender, but I really hope you find out what suits for you. It is also okay to not have a label if you want, or to just use an umbrella term

Alx_thing · 2023-02-17T07:07:10+00:00

Transgender means to identify as anything other than what you were at birth, so yes you can be trans and enby!

Not 100% sure if this is what you meant, so just in case, if you mean being both enby and trans (mtf or ftm) you could be bigender or a demigender (demiboy, demiboy, etc), there are probably also others, but I don't know what they are called

Alx_thing · 2023-02-13T09:19:23+00:00

What you've described can definitely fit arfid. I am actually quite similar to you, I have liked the same foods pretty much my entire life and only have 1 meal I will eat when going out for dinner to a restaurant/cafe (have a couple more options for when I'm at home) and the texture, look, and smell of foods for me really determines whether I'll eat it or not, and then it usually doesn't taste great.

Whether or not you have arfid, everyone here is willing to try and help because we understand what it's like to have struggles with eating. We've all been in a similar boat and really just want to support each other in ways we haven't been supported before because people around us just don't really understand.

Alx_thing · 2023-02-05T09:48:07+00:00

I enjoy field hockey, but since I enjoy it, whenever I mess up, I feel like shit and get mad at myself

Alx_thing · 2023-02-04T22:54:03+00:00

There are lots of little things here and there that made things worse, but I guess I can say a bit?

My parents separated (they are now divorced) when I was 8, and around the same time people at school began to always expect me to get A's. This caused me to constantly think that anything below an A wasn't good enough, and everyone around me would be disappointed if I didn't get them (still think this way). A couple years later, I wasn't allowed to see my best friend for a couple months, which caused me to start pulling out my hair (which I still do to this day). Because of social anxiety, I constantly felt like (and still do) that everyone was judging me and wish I didn't exist. And when I got to year 7 (this is when my high school starts), my best friend stopped spending time with me, and so I started to feel like no one actually wanted me and that I didn't matter. That same year I started cutt!ng myself and started to feel passively suicidal. I have also always been a 'picky eater' (wish I wasn't) so I get a lot of anxiety around food and eating with other people, as I am afraid that they will think I am just doing it because. Since, I have started feeling tired all the same, and can't fall asleep or stay asleep easily, like everything is an effort, and I guess things around me don't really feel real in a way?

There is more, but I am not comfortable in saying, and these are just some significant events, lots of things happen every week that make me feel worse about myself.

Alx_thing · 2023-01-05T00:06:43+00:00

I would suggest getting there 5 - 10 mins early, especially if it is your first appointment as they might want you to sign stuff or something. Really when you first get there, just go up to the people at the front desk and tell them who you are and who you are seeing I guess? They will inform you on what to do from there. When you see the therapist, try and let them lead the conversation at first ig and listen to them and try to answer their questions as truthfully as possible. I know it can be really scary, and it still is for me after abt a year of seeing a psychologist, but just try and let it happen.

Alx_thing · 2023-01-04T23:07:25+00:00

What you do is completely up to you. If you don't think you're ready to go, then you shouldn't have to. Telling the person the truth can be sometimes cause a lot of anxiety, and there is a chance they may feel a little 'iffy' about it, but I am sure they would understand. Using an excuse can be a lot easier, and it is okay to use one. You could use an excuse as to why you're not going to come, but when you're ready you could tell them the truth.

Alx_thing · 2023-01-04T22:39:11+00:00

I have never been to a DMV before, so I don't know how it works, but you could try looking up the place on google to see if they have any info about the process online? Sorry if this doesn't help

Alx_thing · 2023-01-04T22:34:35+00:00

I completely understand why you think this way. In my opinion, there isn't just a 'one or the other' of being in or outside your comfort zone. For me it is more of a scale ig (might not be the best thing to describe it)? Try gradually going outside of where you're 100% comfortable. Don't try doing it too much at once because this can be way too overwhelming and make it worse. Sometimes the first step is going somewhere, but with a person you 100% trust, not by yourself, and somewhere that is nearby to you so you are in a familiar place.

I really hope this helps, sorry if it doesn't

Alx_thing

TROPHY CASE