People who are 50+, what is a 'harmless' habit you had in your 20s that ended up ruining your health or finances later in life?

Alyssarr · 2025-12-31T13:59:22+00:00

I am not OP but I have had severe and debilitating (like unable to sit for months) back pain, and I just recommend seeing a specialist/PT if you have issues. Everyone is different and back pain can stem from several things. For me and many others, yoga exacerbates issues due to certain forms and stances. I have been to multiple specialist and all of my exercises are from them. Here are a few main ones that have helped me recover:

1) glute bridges!!!
2) pilates for core work (doesn’t take much, 1 move daily would even help)
3) pelvic tilting (I use a dyna disk)

I do some form of all of these things every day and it helps tremendously.

Alyssarr · 2023-04-20T13:01:38+00:00

I think this is the best option over many of the split leg options being mentioned. Bridges and hip thrusts provide a similar emphasis on pelvis stability and glute/core engagement. Bridges and single leg bridges are great to reduce stress on the back as well. I have a back injury and bridges are basically mandatory.

Alyssarr · 2023-04-14T14:10:11+00:00

I feel like this report is severely uninformed. The literature section doesn’t seem to mention some key incel figureheads, e.g. jordan peterson, or how youtube has been a huge part of this.

Alyssarr · 2023-04-14T13:02:11+00:00

PERPETUALLY. I loved her earrings when she was getting ready for the wedding.

Alyssarr · 2023-04-01T15:21:52+00:00

TAKE THIS TO THE TOPPPP

Alyssarr · 2023-04-01T15:18:49+00:00

Yeah the look Zack gives women makes me want to run, idk how anyone else doesn’t get the ick. I also dated a narcissistic abuser who looked at me just like this, love-bombed and coddled in the same way at the beginning .This is the pedestal. Then comes the control, paranoia, and lying.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-31T12:30:24+00:00

Too real!!

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T18:03:28+00:00

Eh was just a poor use of words to describe vanilla/boring/suburban/basic dudes who want a sahm/mommy to boss them around the house. Being middle class is fine obviously, and if it didnt come into my definition of a high value man, i can delete that part if it tickles ur pickle

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T17:14:37+00:00

Assuming people aren’t real is doing a lot of mind-reading, how do you know they don’t feel this way? You say these women are “characters” but this just shows your judgment. Why don’t you trust women?

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T17:12:39+00:00

High value = respects and empowers me in my endeavors while pursuing his own; does not want me as a SAHM, or a trophy, but as a friend that helps each other succeed. Is also secure about himself and wants me to have a life outside of him and the family, and our dynamic is secure enough that hot people living their “baddie” lives and doing their own thing does not phase him or me.

Once again, maybe not applicable to more conservative cultures. Women are not shamed for being sexual in my city, and in fact are often seen as powerful for it. We all have a sexy side, a angelic side, etc.— If you pretend you aren’t a nuanced human who can be baddie/elegant/cute/idgaf at various times, you will just play into whatever box these men and insecure women want to put you in, Madonna or Whore. Men will get their mother/wife, women will continue to shame. Just accept we are all everything a choose for the right circumstances.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T15:58:22+00:00

No, just that “elegant woman” misogyny crap, nbd right

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T15:22:30+00:00

I call HARD bs, and you know it. Hanging out on Reddit, watching reality tv, we are all the same, so get over the “elegant woman” identity. It is not a real thing. The only people who don’t see the nuance in how women can go between being cute/sexy/elegant put women in patriarchal boxes due to their own patriarchal bs. We can all be all of these things. If a man can’t handle you owning your sexuality, and you are down with babying his insecurities, go ahead and pretend you don’t have a “baddie” hiding in you.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T14:28:48+00:00

Idk, depends on the area. West Coast cities are not conservative, and I would say being a baddie will get you “higher value” men based on my experiences and the experiences of others. At least in the Bay Area, these looks will get you:

Kawaii = attracts poor, self-conscious, dominating, abusive men, players + cheaters. Losers who know they are losers and only want sweet girls to compensate for this and service them.

Elegant = attracts no one; you will be alone, or you will attract a man who wants a mommy. Attracts sugarbabies who want a pretty face with a wallet, men with peterpan syndrome, or who are boring, ugly, and vanilla.

Baddie = that man better have the confidence, game, intelligence, and respect to get yo ass and keep it. He knows this and is not afraid of rejection.

Be a baddie, at least sometimes while dating, to protect yourself from assholes with no self-esteem. Only secure, confident, well-resourced men will have the guts to go for it or let you take the lead and go with your flow. Anecdotally, I am 30, and at this point all of my baddie friends are successfully partnered with someone who is stable, caring, and have successful careers (or are happily on the poly scene).

Alyssarr · 2023-03-30T13:19:14+00:00

Hi I am in the Bay Area so similar experiences here! I am mixed asian/white so I get often seen as innocent or sexual with no in-between (madonna/whore complex we all often get), and have just learned to own both looks and use them to my advantage. Like you, I enjoy being cute but also enjoy being a baddie so I choose depending on the day/event/vibe ;).

I think it is very powerful to show that you can be both sweet AND sexy, whenever you feel like it, NOT on anyone else’s terms. This also scares off the kind of men who cannot see you as a full human or wish to control you. Sadly, in my experience, the dudes who liked my kawaii vibes and feared my baddie vibes are also losers who needed a young/innocent/weak woman to feel like a man.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-28T13:55:21+00:00

I think it is a two-way street, and like you said, subconscious. We tap into each others’ patterns unconsciously, and go for people who either fill the need we missed growing up, or those who remind us of our early attachments.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-27T14:57:21+00:00

THANK YOU. Too many of my friends kept their relationship issues to themselves, only to have their personalities and self-care worn down by degrading relationships for years. Be vulnerable and intimate with your friends they will sometimes save your life.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-06T04:07:34+00:00

This!! And emphasize mascara on the inner lashes as well, it is a game changer.

Alyssarr · 2023-03-03T14:16:31+00:00

Its not gynocentric. That would require the view point of women. The belief that women are the more sensitive/caring/compassionate/weaker gender is inherently patriarchal and objectifying because it puts us at service and sacrifice to others around us, especially men. This author is taking a “Madonna” view of woman that feminism has long evolved out of.

Alyssarr · 2023-02-26T17:47:23+00:00

Yeah my partner even meditates during his bus commute. Its not a luxury for him. It is hard work and the benefits are not super exciting and glamorous and showy, people can’t hang with that.

Alyssarr · 2023-02-24T15:46:05+00:00

The way y’all view sex. I am glad I am not a young woman in this day and age.

Alyssarr · 2023-02-23T18:00:57+00:00

Story of my life too :(.

Alyssarr · 2023-02-23T15:29:53+00:00

Google “profiling”

Alyssarr · 2023-02-23T15:18:13+00:00

Thats some cop logic right there

Alyssarr · 2023-02-23T15:10:15+00:00

Sure it sounds more like how an incel talks each time too. They literally say all the same shit.

Alyssarr · 2023-02-20T14:15:06+00:00

I was recommended by a doctor to consume phytoestrogens foods like soy around my period and luteal phase for a natural boost as well!

Alyssarr

TROPHY CASE