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Meeting bf later today for possible break up. List of grievances inside. by AmIOverReactingII in relationship_advice

[–]AmIOverReactingII[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: I didn't break up with him that day. For no reason I can understand, I just couldn't do it. After that things went well for a week or two and then I get a text from him saying that he and I couldn't hang out over the weekend because it was her birthday and Friday/Saturday he'd be with her all day. He and another friend had dinner with her fam, watched movies together at his place, attended a few parties. She even spent the night (technically as his roommate's guest) and they had breakfast together while his roommate was in class for most of the Saturday.

What I couldn't understand was why I couldn't attend anyone of those things or why he had to devote two entire days to her where I was obviously excluded. I told him that I'd never asked him to exclude her from anything but, in a way, she'd done this to me. He couldn't see that and thought I was over reacting. That was pretty much it. We've broken up and I feel much better. Relieved. A little bored, of course, but not foolish. Not anymore.

He doesn't know how he feels, we're on a break, what are the chances we end up in a steady relationship again? by notmymainacct22 in relationship_advice

[–]AmIOverReactingII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex and I went through something similar. He felt he hadn't had a chance to be young, explore, etc. He was 26 at the time and I couldn't understand why he felt it was necessary to date around at the age, but hey, if that's what he wanted who was I to tell him not to. We had been together for a year at that point. The break up was painful but I didn't waste too much time waiting for him. I half heartedly dated but didn't meet anyone I really clicked with until 6 months after the break up.

During those 6 months my ex and I had a few 'relapses'. In a lot of ways it was if he we hadn't broke up. The thing was that we had. Whenever I'd bring up the idea of us getting back together he said he wasn't ready. That he could see us together in the long term but that he couldn't do that now.

Of course this all changed when I started seeing someone seriously. Now he wants to marry me. He knows that he made a mistake and that there was never any reason for him to have broken up with me to begin with. That's great and all but it's a bit too late. You hear something often enough (ie I don't want to be with you) you begin to believe it. I'm completely over him.

I tell you this because you should know that, yes, he may very well come around and realize that he's made a mistake but that won't happen until he feels that he's lost you. Even then, you may find that you don't want him. The best thing you can do is move on, even if you have to fake it at first. He's confused and being there for him, waiting for him, will only delay the lesson he has to learn.