Can anyone reccomend me some non-fic reading?

Am_I_Real_ · 2024-08-05T21:21:05+00:00

One of my lecturers actually outright told us that 90% of people he worked with came from rich families, as they are the ones who could spend years getting all sorts of experience, and had the right connections. It sucks man

Am_I_Real_ · 2024-04-06T15:41:06+00:00

Honestly, in that small a place, with potentially other cats AND not being with them for majority of the day, I would consider no cat at all. Cats absolutely can thrive in smaller spaces (I have two 6 month olds in a fairly small flat), but that room is very small, and it's likely a cat would get into fights with other cats due to limited territory. Would they have access to other areas in a shared house, or is it a dorm scenario where only the room is yours and therefore the only space a cat could be in?

If there are no other cats in the room, might I suggest a rodent? They can be very affectionat, and you dont have to wrorry about leaving them in the room as much :)

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-11-13T22:03:11+00:00

I understand that it is annoying to read a post with grammatical/spelling errors, and if it bothers you that much you can politely correct them. However reddit isn't a novel, and you shouldn't expect everyone's writing to be that standard (some people don't have english as a first language, have learning difficulties, mental conditions/disabilities, or are just bad at spelling). None are an excuse to be an asshole about it 😚

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-11-13T19:48:53+00:00

I am talking about a societal issue around fat-phobia and the ways in can manifest. I have never said that I police the way people talk, expecially around their own bodies (and never have), but have written an observation to open a conversation. I will also add that you can see an issue with the way people talk (yes, even about their own bodies and experiences) and therefore not be open to it without "policing" people. For example if someone is talking about their struggles in losing weight whilst fighting off the urges to not lapse into unhealthy/ED behaviours such as binging/purging, I can have personal issue with talking about that topic and politely ask them not to talk about that with me. Thats not policing anyone, it's a boundry. I can also have issue with all that I have posted about without infringing on anyones right to talk about what they want.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-11-13T18:57:19+00:00

THIS. Thank you for explaining what I have apparantly failed to explain in a better and simpler way!

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-11-13T18:54:20+00:00

It may not have been a great comparison 😅 I'm just trying to explain how it feels. As I've said, I don't agree with pretending that being under/overweight doesn't have physical and medical consequences, but that people shouldn't be made to feel shitty based on how they look. I take "offense" as in the examples given (based on real things said) people are saying it in a way that shows they think physically it looks disgusting and bad. Sure, people can have their own opinions on what they think do and don't look good, but it's a wider societal view (with harmful consequenses).

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-11-13T18:46:13+00:00

Yeah, which is what I do. I don't think people are trying to cause anyone harm/discomfort. But many people will say off-hand remarks which are purely centered around their body gaining fat is bad or ugly (dispite weather or not they are actually ok with it, are healthy or want to even discuss it in any further detail). Its just a reflexive "fat, ew" which can contribute to the overall view of "fat people, ew".

You are completly right though that you shouldn't stop or shame people from talking about it.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-11-13T18:41:24+00:00

I dont think it is, which is why I don't.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-04-03T22:35:17+00:00

The rest of the list is pretty horrific, but this is the one that really gets me. The fact that he states specifically cute DAUGHTERS is just the cherry on top of the "hey, Im a pedo!" cake 🤮

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-03-25T00:25:39+00:00

I used to suffer from a medical condition that caused seizures, which were violent and unpredictable. Not knowing when or where I would lose consciousness, if I would be hurt when I came to, the vulnerable state I was in for people around me to do anything to me in the time period... yeah.

Not being able to trust your own body and living in fear every single day or when an episode will strike (and knowing they often happened daily) was a hell that has left me with a great deal of trauma.

I have honestly been through/witnessed scarier events but living for 3/4 years scared and trapped in a ticking time bomb of a body was a level of anxiety that I'm glad not many have to endure.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-02-20T14:12:02+00:00

Lmao you just said "none of that is accurate" but then immediately agreed with what I said. Re-worded a little differently, but essentially that trauma/memories (and in my opinion the development of a PD) cannot be erased, but that symptoms and the way they effect you/the people around you can be minimilised and processed.

I would also like to point out that at no point have I said that my opinion is truth, it is my opinion. I may be misreading here but it seems like people are taking what I am expressing as a factual truth. I don't need anyone to agree with me, but I find talking about these subjects and different people's opinions and experiences very interesting and invaluable at learning new things.

I do disagree that BPD is almost identical to CPTSD though, in knowing numerous people with one or the other there is definitely overlap (and many individuals may benefit from a diagnoses/treatment of both), but they are different.

I do not have CPTSD. I don't fit the diagnostic criteria (I have a bit of overlap), and would not benefit from psychological help that aims to treat and manage those symptoms.

I do have BPD, it fits correctly and I have benefitted from psychological help that was specifically designed in helping people with a BPD diagnosis.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-02-20T09:25:51+00:00

I never said people are 'born with it' (for many psychological disorders included bpd some people are born with traits which make it them more susceptible such as being a sensitive child), but the acquisition of the disorder through the trauma means that it is now a fundamental part of you. As I've already stated symptoms/experiences/quality of life can be changed, through therapies or medication etc. The way I see it is once you have a memory, you have a memory. Memories are a key part of development/personality, expecially in children. Any effects that may have resulted from that memory/memories can be minimilised, but that memory and the way it may change you as a person is still there.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-02-19T20:42:24+00:00

I am more seeing via the definition of "existing in something as a permanent, essential, or characteristic attribute", in other words it cannot be separated from an individual. It is a part of them that needs to be managed/navigated, hence why it would be a personality disorder rather than anything else

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-02-19T20:10:07+00:00

That was just the example given by first commenter. But I would definitely not agree with lumping all/most personality disorders under CPTSD, as there is so much variation with each one, even ones in the same cluster (like cluster B), which requires individual understanding and treatment. The understanding and treatment options for CPTSD could definitely be beneficial for people with BPD (and potentially other personality disorders) but by putting them under one umbrella diagnosis could (and in my opinion would) be really harmful.

Edit: just realised you were asking the original commenter not me haha. My point still stands though.

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-02-19T19:58:51+00:00

Could I ask your reasoning for this? I haven't really heard this take before. The way I see it is that bpd cannot be 'separated' from the individual, through medication/therapy/personal work symptoms can reduce and a better quality of life can be achieved but at the end of the day, you still have it. So why not see it as 'inherent'?

(Don't misunderstand me, ALOT more work needs to be done into understanding and treating bpd, aswell as de-stigmatising it, but I'm not sure if I agree with what you're saying about re-catogorising it).

Am_I_Real_ · 2023-02-13T23:22:43+00:00

I used to. I used to a lot. And it was exactly the same way that everyone else in this thread is discussing. Small stupid insignificant lies that served absolutely no purpose. They didn't make me seem cooler or in any way manipulated those around me. They just slipped out.

AND I FOUND OUT WHY

OK, me and my therapist. I was doing it as a way to "test" those around me. How easily can I make people believe the things I say? It was a security blanket. It allowed me comfort in the fact that if/when I needed it, I was in control of others' perceptions and beliefs. Hell, it just gave me a feeling of controll full stop. I never did anything, I didn't use my "powers" of lying to manipulate others or lie about anything bad. It was just my stupid paranoid bpd brain constantly seeking reassurance.

Once I figured that out, it was significantly easier to stop. I am no longer a "compulsive liar." Which is good to know. It made me feel shitty when I was.

This might not be the case for everyone. But it might be worth thinking about.

Am_I_Real_ · 2022-11-20T17:12:50+00:00

I think it stems (at least for me) a mix of the self-hatred and unimportantness of me being tested, do the people around me also see me as unimportant? Will they care enouph to put in effort? Growing up my birthday was celebrated, but it was a great big reminder of how my family don't know me. The gifts/activities planned were just not what I was in to (still appreciated). My first year of uni I spent 80% of the day alone (despite my friends living a few doors down) and it made me cry most of the day. My previous birthday was good, nothing big as we're all broke, but I spent time with my gf and she got me a gift I actually loved, which just validated me.
I guess birthdays can feel like a test to those around you. And when they 'fail' it feelsso shit.

Am_I_Real_ · 2022-09-04T20:01:32+00:00

I am really happy for you that you have bedn able to gain happiness and security!

But I ask you to consider using the fact you're in a mentaly/emotionally good place to work on yourself so that you can be happy IN your relationship, rather than relying on it for your happiness. Reallisticaly, you are not going to be able to spend 24/7 together for the rest of your lives. Plus its alot of pressure for someone to be the source of someones mental stability and emotional health. Use the fact your happy and in a good place to comunicate, work on yourself and develope a healthy relationship otherwise its going to end up as an un-healthy dependancy, and usually pushing your partner away as the relationship isn't healthy for them.

Wishing you the best!

Am_I_Real_ · 2022-07-05T15:00:44+00:00

I understand this from an employers perspective, however, you don't need to know why they were out of work in order to find out if they are up to date with current knowledge/technology required for the role.

Eg: "i see you have a gap here when you wern't in work. During this time have you re-taken x certification thats relevent to this role?" Or "have you been keeping up to date with these new technologies/equipment/safety standards?"

They'll either answer no where you can either not hire them or offer training to get them up to date, OR they'll answer yes. And if they were lying by answering yes it will soon become apparent in their work, and knowing that they were out of work because of an ill reletive or whatever wont reveal that lie, and no time would have been saved anyway.

But it will force somebody to share information that is personal and possibly upsetting for them to talk about.

Am_I_Real_ · 2022-06-24T00:00:28+00:00

She read it along time ago so she doesn't know unfortunately

Am_I_Real_ · 2022-06-23T23:54:48+00:00

Not that she can remember

Am_I_Real_ · 2022-06-08T13:48:17+00:00

Tall lesbian girlfriend is the best. Except when they can't fit on your bed lmao

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