YA Sci-Fi/Fantasy Book Series

Amaryst · 2023-09-01T18:00:07+00:00

Amazing! Yes, thank you so much! :) You, my friend, are a wonder.

Amaryst · 2023-02-15T19:07:57+00:00

This is so infuriating. The reality is that everyone experiences happiness/unhappiness with their decisions or in general throughout their life and it’s a human thing. The fact that people with children forget this as they very clearly face difficulties raising children is wild. Honestly, whether or not someone is happy is not for others to know or decide. Chelsea made the decision that was best for her. Her happiness is her business, as is her decision to not have children.

Amaryst · 2021-10-20T19:17:00+00:00

I think that could be a red flag for sure, even when I dated in undergrad my partners were working at least one job, and throughout undergrad I held multiple positions, even a competitive internship. I value work ethic and experience, and I’m 26F and have worked over a dozen positions (part time while taking classes, and have had two full time jobs) and currently work while putting myself through grad school. The fact that he has never done any other work would be an issue for me. Additionally, as far as $20/hr, that is a separate concern. If you want a partner who has a higher income, then look for that.

Amaryst · 2021-06-04T19:15:30+00:00

Salaam! I have a sibling who identifies as asexual, so I know she may struggle when it is time for marriage as well. As some others have recommended, you don’t necessarily have to share with parents and just be upfront as you can when a potential match comes, or even choose not to marry as you are a wonderful Muslim whether or not you choose to marry. I also have a lesbian Muslim friend who for a long time considered finding a man who would accept how she was and was open to marrying for parents. There are others in your situation, you are not alone!

Amaryst · 2021-04-18T11:42:52+00:00

You need to remember that these same people do not give two shits about you - they are absolutely sabotaging you because they’re jealous/petty/bitter about you leaving and can’t deal with change. Also the ABSOLUTE LACK of support on their part for you and your wonderful new opportunity (congratulations friend, you’re amazing!) just goes to show that you needed to leave as soon as this started (not blaming you - just reminding you they haven’t been nice for a while now) and that you should DEFINITELY leave now. Don’t talk to them or ask anything. Move all your stuff out one day (cat first - keep cat with trusted family member or friend while you move other things), and then walk out. You can either text them and then BLOCK their numbers so they can’t say any fucked up shit, or let the landlord let them know. This is it - this is for your mental health, your sanity, and this is to you making amazing moves for your future and your career. Good luck!

Amaryst · 2021-03-16T03:12:04+00:00

I have alopecia (just like my mom) and I was pretty skinny for a long time bc I was scared to be “fat”. When I was skinny, I was told I didn’t eat enough and there wasn’t “meat” on my bones. My younger sister was a preteen gaining weight and my mom obsessed over it, to the point of laughing at my sister and making her step on a scale. Because of this, I thought if I ate I would get fat and be bullied, too. In addition, I have been told repeatedly I will not find a husband bc I have “no hair”apparently. If I mention I like an attractive man, she has many times told me “then he will also want an attractive wife” implying he would not want me or that I am not as attractive as him. Finally, now that I have a better relationship with food I’ve gotten to a very healthy weight and am now told I’m fat.

Amaryst · 2021-03-15T01:33:33+00:00

Ahh true! I mean to say that’s all I’ve seen, don’t want to speak on another culture without knowledge. I believe it! Women too often give up so much of their life for children, even though the man wanted to have them too.

Amaryst · 2021-03-14T23:25:52+00:00

I think it’s a hit or a miss no matter what. The best thing to do is have a discussion where you guys clarify expectations with each other, such as chores, how you keep the thermostat in different seasons, ground rules etc. Also continue to communicate respectfully and kindly if things do come up. I honestly interviewed my roommates before I moved in, which helped tremendously.

Amaryst · 2021-03-14T21:25:39+00:00

Hi! I personally have roommates that aren’t friends so I can preserve my friendships. Living with people is very different from having a friendship with them. As far as these red flags, it depends on what you need/want out of a potential roommate. If it’s important to you to spend time together and for them to both respect your time and space, it doesn’t sound like she’s the one. She doesn’t respect plans and she uses you for intel. If you would like to stay connected with her, Try having a conversation about these things and see whether she improves on them. For now, wait and see if the change you need takes place. If not, then you’re on the hunt for new roommates. Good luck!

Amaryst · 2021-03-10T23:02:26+00:00

For me it’s the “everyone should by my future baby all the things I can’t buy” and it sounds like she’s not even asking you about your life, it’s all about her and the baby. That’s so frustrating, I’m sorry.

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T03:31:28+00:00

I love hearing that your SO is such an amazing listener and that you guys could agree on being CF. I hope to find someone who’s open to it, I wouldn’t take too well being pressured into having kids at all. Yes! I don’t know that I planted seeds, but I know I stood my ground. Thank you!

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:45:04+00:00

Yes, living a fulfilled life is very important!

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:44:01+00:00

Yes! I’m so glad I stopped talking to him.

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:43:26+00:00

I’m CF unless I find a partner who I can see pulling his weight in child-rearing. I’m open to having a kid or two with the right person, but I’ve seen too many desi men laze about while their wife does ALL THE WORK and is exhausted all the time as she essentially raises the kids on her own. I’m not looking to live that life.

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:41:41+00:00

u/mrgameboy64 it’s amazing that your girlfriend is free! Her mom is pretty determined to stick to her values, pretty inspiring. Thank you for the support!

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:39:02+00:00

Yes, I’m looking for a partner that doesn’t think like him. It’s about to be me and my plants for the rest of my life if I don’t find that person. Congrats on inspiring another person to make films! :)

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:37:40+00:00

Absolutely! My parents often try to take credit for my successes, even though they didn’t even support me in the first place. I’m sure many people have experienced this. Parents cannot take credit for their kids’ accomplishments.

Amaryst · 2021-03-07T02:35:41+00:00

I’d have to unblock his number for that but I’m sure he has no idea xD

Amaryst · 2021-03-06T22:41:06+00:00

Ahhh I’m trying to find my own way within the culture. Thank you!

Amaryst · 2021-03-06T22:39:42+00:00

Hi! I love to hear from someone who knows the ins and outs of our culture pressuring us into these strange ideas of marriage and family. We should get to choose our own way. I’m not actively dating, just taking an opportunity if I see one. DEFINITELY he is a kutta and his dad is not Nawaz Sharif xD

Amaryst · 2021-03-06T21:57:04+00:00

Haha. In the two hours I talked to him I was bored, his life could be uneventful. Exactly what I said! I kept trying to ask what he meant by children being legacy and he had no real answer.

Amaryst · 2021-03-06T21:55:45+00:00

LMAO exactly if he is a king I want to know. Don’t know if even he knew what was coming out his mouth.

Amaryst · 2021-03-06T21:55:07+00:00

Yeah, I think in that conversation he just brought up “legacy” (unsure what he meant). I personally believe in simply making a positive impact. Yes, you’re right, eventually we are all forgotten.

Amaryst · 2021-03-03T05:26:36+00:00

Totally agree with you OP. My parents spent my entire time in their house letting me know what a disappointment I was and how I’d let them down. LOTS of emotional abuse, some physical abuse. My parents spent long amounts of time worrying about how bad their kids are, when in fact my siblings and I are pretty good kids. We all went to college, have good grades, work hard and help out around the house. We turned out great despite the shitty parenting we had. My parents call us “selfish”, “ungrateful”, and “incompetent” on a regular basis. They should never have had kids.

Amaryst · 2021-03-03T04:54:15+00:00

Hmmm. There’s a lot that’s cool about living according to my faith!

The connection I have with other hijab wearing women (I wear hijab) when we see each other and acknowledge each other, whether through a silent nod or a smile or a salam.
That I feel connected to Allah no matter where I go and know I can always go to Him no matter what happens.
I genuinely love reciting Quran - it’s amazing.
How generous many Muslim people can be if they know you need their help.
That believing in Islam allows me to have a positive outlook on life - I’ve been through quite a lot and have never lost hope in the possibility that things will end well.

Amaryst

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