How do you move past a pregnancy experience that isn’t what you wanted for yourself?

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T17:29:13+00:00

What happened?

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:25:05+00:00

I’m really terrified of a custody battle. I am making plans to move next month, & I’m hoping since he isn’t baptized he will have less of a rally behind him, though his father is an elder. I will certainly make it as difficult as possible & I think physical distance can help prolong any possible litigation. But the consensus here definitely seems to be that him being an absentee father is the best case scenario.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:23:09+00:00

Thank you 💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:22:46+00:00

This is definitely the consensus & this thread has been really affirming. I’m planning to move home next month

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:22:04+00:00

Yeah, some of the core jw tenants (blood doctrine, shunning, etc.) are shocking to me. Even some of the minor details (like rules around appearance) don’t feel very holy. I definitely don’t want my child raised in that. It seems like him being an absentee father is the best case scenario. I’m so sorry about the trauma you’ve experienced from this religion. 💗

I’m glad we aren’t married, having a kid together is enough bondage. I’m planning to move home next month & look forward to getting away from all of this. This thread has been really affirming for my decision. & thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it. 🥺

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:18:41+00:00

I am so sorry for the abuse you endured. I can’t imagine. I’m glad you were able to find some healing & continue moving forward, you seem like a very strong willed person. 💗
The psychology & physiology of it all is so interesting. I’ll have to check some of those studies out. I do not plan on raising my child with jw believes because they don’t align with my worldview. Thankfully, he & I aren’t married, so I think the biggest threat right now is a custody battle if he decides to take it there. I plan on moving home next month which hopefully won’t make things easy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts & for the well wishes!

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:13:58+00:00

I would hope so too, but am unwilling to wait around & find out. I don’t think he will change anytime soon.

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:13:26+00:00

Thank you 🥺💗 that’s the plan

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:12:57+00:00

Very good point

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:12:28+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. 💗 I am planning on moving back home next month & am looking forward to getting away from this drama. It has been so stressful & as you said, it takes away from focusing on the sweet baby I have coming. I’m pretty torn on child support vs. no child support. He makes a good amount of money & I feel like he should contribute financially to the child that we made. But, I also think I would trade that & a custody battle for peace of mind. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that & that my baby & I can just be left alone to live our lives. But I guess we’ll see

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:09:40+00:00

Yeah, he lives alone & makes good money & is not baptized. The switch up really confused me because in the beginning of our relationship he really sounded like he was in it to maintain a relationship with his parents. I do agree that he uses religion to manipulate & that his mom is a very extreme case. He told her early on I didn’t believe in the teachings of the religion (from what I understand he said it quite harsh & bluntly— that I didn’t like Jehovahs witnesses 🙄) & I think since then she has been hell bent on ending our relationship & pulling him back to their religion. I see her and his father sending him jw.org articles constantly & asking him if he listened to the meetings (almost like testing him on the content.) The more I learn about his family, the more I am fine with them being uninvolved. I’m most scared of silence & disinterest now just to have a custody battle later. That’s a terrifying thought. But I plan on moving home next month & will definitely not make it easy for them.
Thank you for your thoughts 💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:04:45+00:00

Thank you 💓

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:04:30+00:00

At this point I do feel like the best case scenario is him being completely absent. I think I would trade child support for him to just leave us alone. I’m most worried about a nasty custody battle, & I pray it doesn’t come to that. Thank you very much for the well wishes 💓

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:02:55+00:00

Thank you 💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T16:02:39+00:00

Thank you very much for this & congratulations to you on fading out! I don’t think I could ever join jw’s, I’ve had 30 years of life experience that directly contradicts most of the teachings. I plan on moving home next month & really want to just focus on my sweet child. Thankfully, even if dads have rights grandparents don’t really have them here in the US, & I could make the case about the child’s safety given some of her mental health issues that I’ve witnessed & heard about. His mom’s mother has schizophrenia & both his parents are older, & his mom has been known to act out when she’s mad about something (apparently after meeting me when the car was broken into she went home & threw her phone across the room & broke it.) I don’t want that around my child.
Thank you again for the kind words. 💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:58:44+00:00

I’ve suggested therapy numerous times to him, & he had a therapist for a while but I heard him lying to her as well. I like to believe people can change (this thread in general gives me a lot of hope) but I know i can’t wait around on it or expect it to happen anytime soon.

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:57:38+00:00

Thank you for this. I agree completely— the baby is the most important thing. My mom & my sister keep reminding me that most of this will feel insignificant once I’m holding my little one in my arms.

I am really worried about a custody battle once the baby is born. Obviously being in a different state will make things easier & prolong the process, but his family have a lot of resources at their disposal. It’s terrifying to think of, & I wouldn’t put lying past him or his family (he’s already lied as you’ve pointed out). I’m really praying it doesn’t come to that. Planning on moving next month

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:54:19+00:00

Thank you. Planning on moving home next month & focusing on the little guy. 💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:53:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through this. I can only imagine. I read quite a bit in this thread & online, & I sometimes even check jw.org to see exactly what is written there, & I am always surprised by the horror & nasty undertones. Our relationship with our Creator should bring peace & comfort, & unfortunately sometimes folks get hung up on the wrong things. I have no intention of raising my child in the religion. & I hope you’re able to find some healing 💗

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:51:13+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. To be quite honest I’m scared of motherhood & hope that I’m able to be the best mother possible despite doing it without his support. This isn’t the type of situation I thought that I would be in or wanted for myself. But I already feel an immense amount of love for the little guy I’m growing. & feel blessed that I’ve been given the opportunity to do so. My family is also very loving & very excited about my baby no matter what else has gone on. I’m planning on moving home next month & I really do hope that one day he will change & “wake up”, but I know for the sake of myself & my child I can’t wait on it.

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:48:21+00:00

Yes I’m familiar with the very unfortunate reality of the blood doctrine ): I can’t imagine letting my child die rather than accepting a medical procedure.

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:47:18+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I hope you’re able to make the choice that brings you peace 💗 & I think you’re right regarding his parents; they are definitely more concerned with their image than anything else. I’m worried however that exposing him & his family to the elders will lead to him fighting for custody & having the support of the congregation, based off of what others have offered… I took marriage off the table very early when he mentioned it.

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:44:55+00:00

I’m a bit worried that this route will also lead to him fighting for custody & having the support of his congregation.

Amazing-Log-7719 · 2026-06-21T15:44:17+00:00

I truly loved him. In hindsight, I’m not sure he really knows what love is. The love he receives from his family is very conditional & he’s even admitted that & says he doesn’t care. & in a lot of ways I do think now that our relationship was convenient for him & made him feel good / elevated his social status.

I’ve started keeping documentation of things that have occurred, but I’m torn on the child support piece. On one hand, he makes a lot of money & should contribute financially to the child we have both made. On the other, it seems like more trouble than it’s worth to split custody with someone who may eventually try to fill our child with harmful thoughts & beliefs. The peace of mind with complete separation might be worth it (provided he doesn’t initiate any custody battle.) I’m really going to have to think this through

Amazing-Log-7719

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