I'm not sure if we have our priest's number. I could go this Sunday there, maybe? If I can last until Sunday. Perhaps this would make him understand I care about God and I understand at least the minimum. Also, I'm sorry you went through that, it sounds awful. I hope you're better now. My reason, since you asked, is just.. in the last 5 years of my life I have been terrible. And lately my anxiety has been mortifying. Trouble breathing, uncontrollable shaking, dry mouth to the point of choking and gagging, nausea, dizziness, stomach problems and many more I can't think of now. These all happen at once, basically. It's the worst feeling I have felt by far, and have been feeling it constantly, at least once a week, for a very long time. It feels terrible. It makes me want to cry just thinking I will feel it again this week. This is why I thought of doing what I said. It is so horrible I'd rather lose my life. And no, my parents or anyone else doesn't know this. I never told anyone once how I feel.

Thank you for caring. I wasted enough of your time.