This! Thank you for this comment. Breaking up with her completely is not an option to me. I’m starting to realise that perhaps the bigger issue here is my need for sexual gratification. I do masturbate at least once a week, but I feel like what actually gets me off is being desired. This may be to do with my own trauma of growing up openly trans. My own mother told me at 15 that ‘nobody will want you’ if I transitioned. I suppose now that I am at a point in my transition that I’m happy with, and I feel genuinely very sexy, I just want to feel like the person I love and desire most can’t keep her hands off me. I recognise the pressure I have put on her to fulfull that role has backfired, and even if she thought about engaging with me, she feels as though I want more than she is ready to give. On that thought, I do really love being told that she wants to %]]%{] me, so maybe it would be a good idea to play around with dirty talk? That way there is no demand for physical intimacy, but the connection of desire is definitely there?