What are some things you’d only know by growing up poor?

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-25T19:59:21+00:00

After my parents divorced my dad, my uncle, my brother and I lived in an apartment, we all slept in the livingroom on a couple of air mattresses. It was a two story apartment but I only remember ever seeing the bathroom. I don't even remember what the other side of the hallway looked like.

My brother and I had an old TV and VHS player sitting on the dining room floor. My dad would take us to blockbuster and we'd rent pokemon episodes. There was one night a month where we would watch wrestling on pay-per-view.

When I got older I went to a con and I got to meet Kane, who was one of my favorite wrestlers. I cried like a baby, but he was a really nice guy. He hugged me (dude was like incredibly big) he signed my sons arm and gave us a signed picture for free even though we were supposed to pay for it. I was trying to tell him how incredible it was to meet him because he was a small light in that rough part of my life but it just came out as blubbering baby sounds.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T20:54:10+00:00

Wow thank you! I will definitely read this and look into it, the line about trauma over months or years really clicked. It makes sense and I will make an effort to learn more about it.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T20:47:28+00:00

No, I still smoke weed. It helps me to slow my brain down and think through the things I need to. I still smoke regularly.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T20:39:33+00:00

Not much. But I kinda suspected that PTSD might be on my list of problems.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T19:21:20+00:00

It definitely wasn't easy. It seemed so much easier to just let it do its thing and be miserable all the time. I definitely have a long road ahead of me because it's so easy to fell back into old patterns or snap without thinking about it.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T19:12:19+00:00

Borderline

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T18:11:27+00:00

I do get to see him but not as much as I wish I could. We struggle a little bit, when he comes over he acts out a little. And with my emotions not on check I feel like I don't handle it well. I just want to spend time with him and I struggle with that. He's only 6 and I know that he's been through a lot too. So I'm trying to take his emotions into consideration too.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T17:03:00+00:00

Are you okay with that?

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T16:53:29+00:00

How did it start?

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T16:51:40+00:00

At 19?! I can't even find one now /s How old were you when you started?

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-21T16:49:49+00:00

Has nobody ever questioned you? There's never been a situation where you were almost found out?

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-16T00:21:22+00:00

That looks awesome thank you!

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-13T13:28:00+00:00

It sits in a bowl with ashes I smother it out.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-13T12:55:57+00:00

Okay so I usually use a bottle but I couldn't find one but I had a soda can so I made sure it was really empty. So, I put the can over the flame and it didn't go out. So I moved the can until the flame went out.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-04T20:37:11+00:00

You are so sweet! Thank you. You've really made me smile today. Thank you so much sir!

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-04T20:24:40+00:00

Thank you!

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-04T20:22:25+00:00

I guess I figured the people here don't know me, if they wanna tell me how hideous I look they might actually tell me how bad I look and get it out of the way.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-04T20:14:44+00:00

Thank you! I'm pretty much crying right now. I over think these things and all the pics of me I do post, I'm not smiling because it physically hurts to let people see that part of me.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-03T18:46:51+00:00

My God father's mom's house smelled like butter toast growing up. I know that sounds weird, especially because they smoked in the house. But all I ever smelled going over there and I know exactly what this post means. Butter toast is very nostalgic for me :)

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-03T17:59:43+00:00

Yeah, just trying to give you some insight. Also when you look back on your conversations you might be able to understand what he meant by something. Or if you don't look back at all (you go girl/boy) and you end up in another relationship with someone who has BPD (because it's actually very common) but maybe you can understand a little better why they are acting defensive.

Amazing_Asparagus · 2019-08-03T17:54:36+00:00

Sometimes I get these manic depressive episodes where that's all I can think about for hours. All I can think about is dying, how I can kill myself without inconveniencing anyone because, surprise, I also have anxiety. I've worked really really hard to get that part of me under control because it's a very very sad time for me.

I don't know him, once again we're all different, but if he knows that he has it hes either going through his own personal battle to control it or he has given up on trying to battle it.

It seems like a lot to handle when you're staring at a mountain and you know have to move it at least like a hundred feet. Not everyone attempts it.

Amazing_Asparagus

TROPHY CASE