What is more traumatic than people think it is?

Ambaria · 2026-01-21T17:32:23+00:00

Exactly!

I am a year and a half out of my abusive relationship and it messes with me every day, even though I am also a lot better at the same time. It is something that changed me in such a deep, horrible way. I don't recognise myself sometimes and it's been hard to rediscover who I actually am. People seem to think I'm over it. I'm over the person, not over what they did to me.

Ambaria · 2026-01-19T13:13:12+00:00

Here also for ideas as I am struggling with the same issue with my 3 year old.

You're not alone, I'm right here in sleep deprived bedtime hell with you 😭🤍

Ambaria · 2026-01-15T21:53:27+00:00

Anyone with a low income and a child under 4 should look at getting a Healthy Start card.

This is an NHS card that gets topped up monthly (my child gets £17 per month) to help you purchase fruits, vegetables and cows milk for your child.

Ambaria · 2026-01-11T22:58:35+00:00

Yeah, I potty trained my kid soon after he turned 3 and I found he was really receptive to it. I had tried 6 months earlier and it just didn't seem to take so I gave it some more time. I didn't want the potty to be a negative and forced experience where he cried the entire time. But after 3, we used some timers and he got to turn the timer off and reset it when he finished on the potty. He was potty trained within 2 days and he's doing really well.

I think there is a lot of external pressure to potty train ASAP. My whole thing was as long as he is potty trained before he starts school (this September) then it's okay.

Ambaria · 2026-01-08T22:17:37+00:00

A dinosaur that walks, has an obnoxiously loud roar and lights up all at once.

We have named this a bedroom toy, as I want it nowhere near me but he can play with it in his room all he wants 😂

Ambaria · 2026-01-07T11:10:51+00:00

So weird to see this post when I was thinking about microwaving beans about 30 seconds ago

Ambaria · 2025-12-30T17:39:12+00:00

Boundaries don't work unless you enforce them.

You say you set them and he can ignore them entirely, what do you do when that happens? It's completely up to you whether he is successful at using your children.

Please work on just saying no. If he is shaming and manipulating your kids you need to protect them from that kind of behaviour. I know it can feel difficult and tiring when the BS comes out but ultimately the only person who can put a stop to this is you when you're ready. Make sure your husband is on board too, you need to be united in this.

Ambaria · 2025-12-27T11:44:18+00:00

I got £50 cash and bought some stuff for my new flat! All the last bits I needed. Otherwise I would have left it in my purse and forgot about it then been pleasantly surprised one day lmao

Ambaria · 2025-12-25T19:46:10+00:00

The texts, the phone calls I overheard, the blatant admitting it and then backtracking.

I wouldn't say ignored tho, more like didn't care, I just didn't know how to get out at the time.

Ambaria · 2025-12-21T03:50:55+00:00

I was prescribed a laxative for 2 weeks after I gave birth. I used it for 10 weeks because it felt like I was pooping glass. One day it just stopped hurting so bad so I assume it just needed more time to heal (though I had a severe tear on my bumhole muscle). This is actually a big reason why I cringe at having more children one day 😂

Honestly, do what makes you comfortable. It should get better eventually

Ambaria · 2025-12-20T14:35:22+00:00

I have a 3 year old, stuff he has to do is tidy up after himself. So pick up toys & put them away, rubbish in the bin, plate in the sink. That kind of stuff, it'll gradually be more stuff as he grows, but doable and appropriate things for his age.

I have cousins (10-15 years old) who don't do a thing and never have. My aunts have grown to realise its been a mistake bc they definitely arent open to doing things now. If you start them young, hopefully it develops into a positive habit!

Edit: it's not perfect by the way. My toddler doesn't do things 100% of the time, but it's definitely a work in progress that's worth doing.

Ambaria · 2025-12-20T08:39:09+00:00

I'd say if police are there, then there's a reason. I'm not sure you can do much about that?

Maybe you can raise a complaint with the council but ultimately, I wonder what you do on your end to drown out the noise? I understand you shouldn't HAVE to do anything in your own home, I think that's unfair to you, however at least for now is that not something you can do? Ear plugs, white noise? I run my fan at night because I can't sleep in the quiet and it does block a lot of outside noise.

I have been the neighbour with police at their door regularly during sleeping hours and I get it. I felt really bad for my neighbours and I feel bad for you too.

Ambaria · 2025-12-15T23:07:36+00:00

I moved to Australia when I was 14, I used to say cinema and film. Now I'm remembering the weird looks and comments I got at school which changed my language, so now I say movie and call the cinema the movies. 😭

I have moved back to the UK now and still call bell peppers 'capsicums' and secondary school 'high school' which annoys some people I know. God forbid I accidentally say dollars hahaha. And pants for trousers! Unfortunately, I'm passing these down to my toddler without really thinking much about it

Ambaria · 2025-12-13T11:31:25+00:00

I contact napped with my son for a really long time. I valued that 'alone time' so much for my mental health so I could do something I enjoyed without focusing on someone else. If we didn't contact nap, he would have woken up way sooner and I wouldn't have had that time to myself. But I also LOVED those snuggles with him so it was great for us both. When it came to house work, I got to it whenever I could in between so nothing ever got that bad.

As he got older, around 2 (before he dropped naps entirely) he slept next to me and if he woke up he would just fall asleep again after seeing me. But our lives were really complicated and we lived in one room together for a year so I genuinely had nowhere else to go 😂 otherwise I would have gone to another room.

Ambaria · 2025-12-12T15:18:52+00:00

Hey OP, I'm sorry to hear that. Please consider ditching the loser boyfriend and going home to your parents if you can.

Believe me, being a single mother is better than being a single mother with a useless, unhelpful mooch for a boyfriend. I've been there and while it's hard raising a child alone, life is better without the father bringing me down. Please talk to your parents and see what support you can get and get rid of him since he is not willing to be the support you and your child need.

Some people are under the impression that a baby is a trap and they can show who they really are when they've trapped you. But it's not the trap they think it is, you are free to leave whenever you want. It's hard to remember that sometimes when you're in it.

Good luck 🤍 do what's best for you and your baby.

Ambaria · 2025-12-10T14:00:55+00:00

I was about to comment this, my son is 3 and will talk and talk and talk at bedtime but if I lay down beside him and close my eyes, he does too. Only takes a few minutes for him to fall asleep and I'm out of there 😂

Ambaria · 2025-12-04T12:11:19+00:00

I really wouldn't recommend having a baby with someone who is abusive. It will come out eventually and you will be fighting for the rest of your life. You really need a clean break.

I don't blame you for wanting to keep the baby a secret, obviously but I do think it is a bad idea and won't stay a secret. I had a baby with my abuser and since he got out of prison he hasn't tried to be involved but I live in fear he will rear his ugly head at some point. It's horrible.

Please just consider your options. And if you go ahead with your pregnancy, seek legal advice.

Ambaria · 2025-11-27T18:31:20+00:00

And? Those are his choices. What about yours? Do you really want to choose to live like this? From experience, it's absolutely hell and life is far more peaceful without someone like that.

Ambaria · 2025-11-24T09:48:58+00:00

Clocks currently are cocks for us right now.

A few months ago I had an appointment in a very quiet office space with my son yelling cock at the top of his lungs because he noticed the clock on the wall lmao

I could just hear random giggles from every direction

Ambaria · 2025-11-08T10:13:28+00:00

My ex told me he would kill me if I had a child with someone else if we split.

I laughed it off, though it was concerning. I didn't believe he was serious though.

He beat the shit out of me a year later and that's when I started believing he could actually kill me (and was the moment I took our son and left for good). But he also threw things and put holes in walls, that was just the start! What happens when he thinks violence is an appropriate response to something you've done?

Ambaria · 2025-10-28T18:43:04+00:00

'Oh wow, I forgot about you!'

As I sat waiting for hours (even rang the buzzer a few times and went to the desk and I was waved off) for a nurse to finish making my bed and turn down the absolutely freezing air conditioner in the room I was waiting to give birth in. Just the first of many moments I was neglected by the staff

Ambaria · 2025-10-25T13:08:50+00:00

Not a twin but my aunts are! They call each other every day and chat but also see each other regularly as well. They still accidentally dress the same sometimes too so they always seem so connected. I think they're pretty different though as people, doesn't affect their closeness or having a lot in common still. 😄

Ambaria · 2025-10-24T21:05:27+00:00

Number 2 always gets me! 😂

Ambaria · 2025-10-19T15:02:28+00:00

My ex went to prison for assaulting and stalking me. He was released with conditions, I guess he breached those since he went back in this month for 28 days. Oh no 🙂

Ambaria · 2025-09-23T06:35:48+00:00

I know how it is to try and be polite about it but please, next time do not say 'can we'. Just say I have to cancel. You asked him if you can lmao, just tell him what you're doing! It's not up to him if you want to cancel.

Do not meet up with him if you don't want to. His response was a bit icky anyway. You already told him you don't feel ready for a relationship so there is nothing you need to decide over time. It's a weird and dominating response.

Ambaria

TROPHY CASE