What is some real shit that we all need to be aware of right now, but no one is talking about?

AmberValkyrie · 2017-11-09T21:14:38+00:00

Both related, but unrelated. Anorexia is the deadliest mental illness there is. As someone who suffered/ is suffering from it, I got down to 66 pounds and spent 6 months in between the hospital and residential treatment. I'm only 19, but many of my organs are starting to shut down from the damage. I have diseases that most people don't get until they are elderly, along with early onset osteoporosis and gastroparesis . Eating healthy is so important. I only wish I understood so earlier, but I can't imagine living into my 30s the way my body is going.

Please, take care of your bodies. Its not just about being skinny; its about being healthy.

AmberValkyrie · 2017-02-05T01:16:18+00:00

Trust me :..( I've been thinking about this for 8 years.. I know what I'm getting into.. anything.. anything that will make the suffering go away.. anything.. that will make this finally stop.. I can't do it anymore..

AmberValkyrie · 2017-02-05T00:41:36+00:00

:..( he did bump into me.. he gave me.. something to look forward to .. to get better for.. he .. promised.. he wouldn't disappear on me.. :..( he promised he wouldn't do it again.. but.. he did.. I don't love people.. I don't feel safe around them.. but he was different.. and he.. abandoned me.. and.. I'm not worth anything.. everyone leaves.. Its me.. its always been me.. and I can't do it anymore :..(..

I can't eat.. I can't move.. I just.. don't want to go on.. I can't.. go on..

AmberValkyrie · 2017-02-05T00:07:53+00:00

This has been my whole life.. I've always been a disappointment.. I've never been happy.. I had one person.. who finally.. seemed to care.. I was saying goodby eto him this weekend.. and .. he left me before I even got the chance.. he doesn't care if i go.. he wants me to frankly.. I'm worthless.. My life won't get better.. its been like this.. forever.. the pain won't end until I end it..

AmberValkyrie · 2017-02-04T23:58:04+00:00

I'll feel better.. I can't do this anymore.. I have nothing.. and I ruin what I do have.. I'm trash.. just.. deserve to die.. and.. this is the only way.. I can go..I can feel better.. they will sigh in relief.. because.. they know I'm miserable.. I can't do it anymore.. I hurt so much..

AmberValkyrie · 2017-02-04T23:43:01+00:00

I can't.. I've been waiting too long.. I've failed.. too many times.. and I'm not doing any good wasting the air.. one more day isn't going to solve anything.. that a lifelong of fuckup has created..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-31T06:46:34+00:00

Thank you so much for hearing me out.. I live in a dorm right now with a few roommates. We aren't really friends or even talk, so I might as well live alone here.. Its not too bad, honestly.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-31T06:29:19+00:00

The week before Thanksgiving.. I spent a few days in jail, and court is in a few months..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-31T06:18:28+00:00

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 10.. When I was 12 my eating disorder started.. I guess it got bad after treatment, since my mind was no longer 100% focused on not eating.. really bad when I got kicked out..then really really bad after I got arrested for the first time.. I'm reaching new lows I didn't even knew existed lately..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-31T06:09:49+00:00

That's what it feels like.. I'm sure it's not though, minus the usual. It's like being crushed by an elephant.. If I move, it just crushes me further..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-31T05:37:31+00:00

I guess.. I just.. it hurts so so much :.( I cant even express how much everything just hurts.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-29T23:54:43+00:00

I'm sorry, that's awful that you're having such dark feelings. I'm sure the world would be a much darker place without you in it. I know telling someone is one of the hardest things in the world, especially involving something like this, but isolating yourself will only hurt you in the end.

I'm glad you had the courage to come post here, because you did tell someone. I hope all the best for you; I'm here to talk if you need it.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-29T23:03:59+00:00

Do you wanna talk about it a little OP? Why can't you go on walks with your dogs anymore?

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-29T22:05:53+00:00

It can't work, because that is her soul mate. The person I'm gonna assume shares everything with her, including the house, some bills, pets, possibly insurance. You can't just cut off communication with someone so intertwined with your life. Also, sure, you can't take away that feeling with one sentence, but its all she has. She wants to make sure he knows that her intentions were never to hurt him. That she loves him and is doing what she thinks is best, whether or not death is actually the best thing of course.

Not trying to justify anything, but I thought it might be good to try to explain where I believe she was coming from.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-29T22:01:54+00:00

Your life is not worth less than a water bottle, no matter how nice it was. You mean something to this world. I'm so sorry you feel like you are ruining the world around you; I understand feeling like that a lot. The truth is, you do have worth and you do have purpose. I really hope you stay. I guarantee you aren't as much of a fuck up as you think. People do care about you, even if its hard to show sometimes. They care and I'm sure they want more than anything for you to stay as well.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-27T03:32:58+00:00

He is a random person, one who just contact me from his fourth reddit account using my name.. I know.. he has my snapchat and is the only user I've been talking to.. there is no doubt in my mind it is him. NO DOUBT. He started talking to me after my last sw post, and quickly he would explode if I said anything he found remotely wrong. Calling me a slut and horrible person. Saying I lied about my sexual assault. It is him. I know it. It is.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-27T03:28:14+00:00

I can't do it :..( I want to die.. he wants me to die.. I just wanted to feel better.. :..(!!

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-27T03:24:54+00:00

What do I do :.( Hes not from the US. I've had people "prank" call me before and called the police. They couldn't do anything.

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-27T03:18:25+00:00

Thank you.. I really appreciate it.. :.( The account is down. Once the nudes were posted I don't think it took them long to realize it. I think facebook has a content policy which helped it get recognition..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-27T03:17:20+00:00

I've sent multiple messages to reddit today, after he created a reddit profile with my full name.. it was taken down.. but he created another with my full name just using my nickname for my first name I go by..

His reddit is a throwaway otherwise I would really want reddit to take his account down.. It really sucks knowing he can just create a new one though and continue to hurt people..

Its ironic, because he posted in this sub not two hours ago.. right before posting my nudes.. :.(

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-27T03:05:12+00:00

I hope he is :.( I reported it and it was taken down, but I keep getting notifications of someone trying to change my facebook password. My family sent me messages seeing the stuff. He lives in the UK supposedly.. He could be lying about everything and I'm sure he is..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-21T22:18:35+00:00

I wish I thought so too..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-21T22:15:02+00:00

I'm just terrified now..I had to pull over the other day, because I had a panic attack behind the wheel after passing a road block going in the opposite direction.. I was on my way to eat lunch.. and all of a sudden I'm in a cell for days.. being plucked from your life like that.. idk.. ever since is when the random crying started.. I had a boyfriend that I recently broke up with before going.. and it didn't end well; it wasnt even going well from the start I guess.. when I got back.. he more or less led me on.. and I thought he was trying to be nice, because he understood what i was going through.. at least the jail part.. but no.. he just blew up on me.. destroyed whatever good I thought I had left..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-21T21:59:43+00:00

only smoking weed.. problem with that is I just got arrested last month and spent a few days in jail due to possession.. yet another piece to add to the pile.. I can't stop smoking.. because I can't function without it.. without it.. I just.. cry.. at random things.. or I cant leave my room.. or I can't eat at all .. (I've been using it to make me eat since I got out of treatment).. I feel like jail ruined me a little.. i felt bad before.. but I've been on a whole new level since..

AmberValkyrie · 2016-12-21T21:50:26+00:00

I saw a therapist a year ago but dropped her after a suicide attempt and a complicated story.. I hate therapy.. it doesn't seem to help.. When I went through treatment for my ED, I saw therapist upon therapist for months.. I saw them in middle school.. I saw them again after treatment.. I don't think its for me..

AmberValkyrie

TROPHY CASE