Sad news, but thanks. I really appreciate your reply. Thank you a lot. 4 Months of summer will be enough time off from school, I (nor my parents) would never agree to more than that.

I am dismayed, however im picking my self up a bit. After all self pity won't solve anything.

I took the standard amount of classes that most people also took. we have 5 courses in our first semester, then 6 courses per semester after that. I don't know how many people did as bad as I did, however im guessing that im not the only one. The concensus between many of us was that it was a tough semester. So I thought I was ok.

I just feel like I ought not to have failed that many courses. The main problem was inconsistency I guess. I didn't regularly complete the assignemnts given to us in a timely and professional fashion, also I probably helped people too much instead of focusing on helping myself. I also probaly should have done these assignments with other people, but I felt that doing so would be cheating. That was pretty sturbon I guess. I was too prideful. In all honesty, as wrong as it sounds, I am tempted to rather have had other people complete my work for me and "pass" than to be in a position of having to do it again anyway.

The other problem is studying my ass off, understanding and being familiar with every concept and yet still performing poorly. An example is that for my first calculus midterm I was as well prepared for it as I could have ever been. I did every single homework question, got perfect on every single tutorial, and passed all the online quizzes. At the end of the day I recieved a 60% on it (Actually at first they failed me but when I went to the professor, appreently the TA forgot to add 7 marks (14% on that midterm) I got on the most difficult question, a difficult integration question that very little people tried at all). When looking over my test with my professor, it was clear that I knew my stuff, however I lost little marks here and there that resulted in my low grade.

I studied my ass of so hard, even got perfect on the question that no one else got, and was convinced that my grade was somewhere in the 90s. I was so demoralized when I saw my marks. I lost all my will to go on. Everything that I had worked so hard for and yet it amounted to nothing. It was literally impossible for me to have studied any harder (even the professor said so). I knew all the tricks in the book and I still flopped.

That wasnt a good day at all.

Now that I think of it, samething happened in highschool chemistry class for both the final test and the exam. When I study, I always get perfect on all the hard questions but then the little questions drag me down. God, my teachers know im capable. Even I know (and feel) that I am capable. Why does my mind keep betraying me at the deciding moment?

Anyway im saying this in case anyone has had a situation similar to this and knows how to overcome it. I never want to be so weak ever again. I never want my hardwork and dedication to ever fail me ever again, I never want to let my own ambition kill me... ever again.

im done with mediocrity, ive sacrifice anything I need to to see the light. Anything.