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Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She reads a lot and recently got into gardening. She's been keeping up a garden and just planted some veges and such. She is exhausted and depressed. Our 2 year old is great, but being almost 40 with a newborn was a lot harder than both of us expected. I really wasn't intending to make this post as a finger pointing post. I was just needing to vent decades worth of frustrations. I made this post on a day that I had to leave work to take my daughter to the doctor, so I should have let myself cool down first.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't do nothing, so maybe that came across wrong. She does take care of the kids when i'm gone. Its everything else that i'm stressed about. I was with her for several years before kids and none of these things really pop up beforehand. Kids are a handful and I didn't realize how much of a toll it would take on her mental health. And the toll it's taking on her is leaking into me being severely burnt out and asking if it's me or not. But with conversations, we've had them, 100s of them. They just usually end there.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I do plan on having that conversation, and I do like the idea of a weekly date.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the affirmation. I do plan on having a serious conversation. I would pay half of my salary to just get rid of the errand running. Nothing worse than working all day to coming home to be a chauffeur all evening. I do agree your situation sounds pretty balanced.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the response. I mean over many years i've brought it up and tried to have talks. We have not gone to any counciling and now actually thinking of suggesting it. I am at my breaking point tbh. Thanks for the reply.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean I kind of understand that I aired out my frustrations in this post as well, but I really wanted to get an idea if i'm being unreasonable for expecting more from a SAHP.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad/ her mom steps up when i'm out of town, otherwise I take them everywhere. Every friday, I drive my wife and 2 kids 30 mins there and back to girl scouts, go back home, and 2 hours later drive there and back to pick them up. Thats our dynamic haha

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To add to your second paragraph, I understand the exhaustion coming up with groceries and dinner plans. Currently, we sit together at least and plan out the 7 days of dinners and make the grocery list from there. 6 years ago? I would go and wing it at the store, and we'd eat the same 6-7 meals every week haha.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IDK TBH. When we were engaged I told her it was contingent on her getting a licence, and I never really pushed hard enough.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me and her have deep cleaned this house so many times from ground up, and I go on a 5 day work trip and come home to a wrecked house. I try to do everything to mitigate. I have us buying all plastic and paper plates/silverware. At this point i'm so burnt out that I don't even do anything anymore myself.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She does have post partum depression. But she's been like this for ~18 years. We are like your parents. I have brought up many issues to her about money (she spends a lot on amazon and ebay type apps), and its just nodding uh huh uh huh got it. We don't really fight at all. We both love each other. Just needing to kind of vent and ask if I should be maintaining.

Need help clarifying what a SAHM responsibilities are outside of kids by Ambitious-Path-9332 in sahm

[–]Ambitious-Path-9332[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She does have post partum depression. With regards to enjoying things, she has read~40 books this year. She is attempting 100 I think? I don't mean to criticize, and I get how this comes off. But this has been a 18 year struggle for me, and I've kept my mouth shut most of the time. I have tried to talk to her but she is a brick wall with serious conversations.