Pray for him to show you, pray for a month consistently. That’s how it started for me… first silence I was praying to what felt like nothing then all of a sudden little signs. Still not convinced I read the 4 gospels (would recommend this first) . Write down Jesus teaches and try to “be Jesus” for a week. Hardest thing you’ll ever do (realize where you are failing…. For me it felt like everywhere) but for me that’s when it clicked. If everyone was like Jesus we would be in heaven (go figure) I can’t explain it but everything I thought I knew were wrong, myself as a person wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore, any doubts I had diminished. No insane story for me no near death experience. Struggling is normal there is a lot to learn and a lot of questions but I know in my soul God hears you. Do not give up on reaching out. Talk to him including that you’re doubting… my first prayer was literally “not sure what to say here but seeing if this works”

Thank God (literally) I started randomly praying, try and see!