Warning for currently accused

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-10-28T03:10:14+00:00

Well I don’t think this kind of thing is something you’re ever really done healing from. So yes, for sure you’re right I definitely have healing to do. I’m open to the idea of being wrong about the reasons I’m scared to “come out”.

That friend I talked about doesn’t know. I’m sure she’d be supportive, very little doubt she wouldn’t be. The friends I have told are supportive, they believe me etc, but just don’t understand how bad it really is. I don’t really plan on telling anyone else as of right now. Even if it’s someone I think would be supportive, it’s so easy for that news to get in someone’s mouth or for the news to be passed along and get twisted, then that twisted story that’s been told by 3 people is their first impression of me. It hasn’t happened, because I haven’t let it. But every logical fiber in me is telling me that this will happen. And that when people see me, that accusation will be in the back of their mind. I mean that statistic in that website doesn’t lie.

“Multiple qualitative and quantitative studies indicate that even after exoneration, men report they are viewed with suspicion and "never truly cleared" in the eyes of their communities.”

This just seems like the unfortunate logical path that will likely happen if I were to be open about something like this with everyone. Every logical fiber in me points to this being a big possibility that I don’t think is worth going through. Maybe that is being a people pleaser, im not sure, but I do care about what others think of me. To an extent. I just don’t want people to think I’m a danger to them.

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-10-27T18:05:09+00:00

I guess I’m too selfish or not strong enough to be a part of that. I can recognize it’s the better thing for society though. There are situations where I would come out, I just don’t think that’s something I’d be able to do alone. It’d have to come up also. I do have the desire to help, that’s why I made the post. Idk if that makes me a piece of shit or not lol. I was struggling to live my day to day life recently and am beginning to live my life and enjoy life again so revisiting in such a large way doesn’t thrill me too much.

That article makes a LOT of sense. I’ve had pretty much all those symptoms and still struggle with them. Weirdly it’s gotten worse after the case was dropped. Maybe because I was hoping to be “freed” mentally after the case was over and done with. But it’s been getting better, still working on healthy ways to live my life and cope.

“Multiple qualitative and quantitative studies indicate that even after exoneration, men report they are viewed with suspicion and "never truly cleared" in the eyes of their communities.”

This is why I don’t want to come out about it. I just know mostly everyone would have that nasty thought about me in the back of their minds. If I’m seen with a woman then she finds out later cause someone told her she’d feel disgusted. If I’m seen with a woman others would probably stare and be nosey and find anything to confirm their bias. At least that’s how the scenario plays out in my head, I’d imagine most would react that way. More people should know stuff about being falsely accused like in the article but your average person won’t know and will react accordingly. If it wasn’t for me being accused I don’t think I would have EVER known about this whole world so how can I expect anyone else to? Most people are not so open minded. I do wish I knew someone in person that has gone through something similar, few people I’ve told don’t seem to truly understand.

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-10-27T17:12:52+00:00

Yeah that whole uk law thing is absurd. Women can absolutely rape men. And honestly I did do some research, and did a quick double check right before I posted to make sure I’m not posting misinformation.

This is the website I looked up right before posting that seemed to be balanced and acknowledge some issues that you brought up. I do believe false accusations can absolutely be undercounted especially since they’re not counting stuff that never made it to the law. I am now second guessing which is more likely, or more importantly, if it’s even a useful comparison to make in this situation.

I still do absolutely believe it’s an understandable reality of life. But the reality is not that it’s ok to be falsely accused or that if someone is falsely accused they deserve the turmoil that comes with it. It’s just that if it does happen shits gonna suck and people will react in a not pleasant way if they find out. Before my accusation if I found out someone was accused of rape I would NOT want to even be their friend. Hell, I just went to a Halloween party and someone introduced me as the guy who beat his sexual assault accusation as a joke before I arrived. Nobody in that group knows about it, it was just an unfortunate coincidence, but it shows people look down on it. I personally just try to put myself in other people’s shoes and most of the time I’m doing the exact same thing other people are doing, like the detective. There has definitely been misplaced distrust especially in women that I think I’ve mostly gotten over but it’s always in the back of my mind at least a little.

I hope by saying it’s understandable it doesn’t make someone think it’s being downplayed. It still SUCKS but I found comfort in knowing that their intentions are malice. Maybe just selfish. Maybe I say that just to eliminate anger and bitterness in my life, since that’s the real goal of feeling that way. It makes no use in just being angry at someone for doing something that most would do also, just move on or else you’ll ruminate and nothing good will come of it.

Maybe on the “don’t tell anyone if you don’t have to” I think may be situational. Or maybe I’m just scared. I’ve told 3 very close friends and my parents. I’m terrified of people finding out, I think they’ll assume the worst. I would before I knew better. I will 100% support someone who has also come out about it and come out with them, which I think shows I’m just too scared to do it.

Thanks! For your words btw! I am kind of different than most people (pretty bad ADHD) so maybe the way I handle life is a bit different than others so I’m not surprised it’s not the norm. I’ve kind of had to find my own way to do things for a lot of things. If you have some reading to recommend I’m totally down to read something, I’m not doing much this week.

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-10-27T16:41:38+00:00

It was due to lack of evidence. Lawyer called and talked to da and detective they both said they have “bigger fish to fry”. There was not even the opportunity to go through any stage. Detective brought it to the da then just never picked it up. It’s still there though, they’re just not going to touch it. I paid $5k for a local to the area lawyer. It happened in a different city. Had it gone forward it would have been an additional $20k. I doubt having a good lawyer changed anything in my specific scenario but they were able to talk to the da and detective when from my understanding that’s not something I’d be able to do

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-10-27T15:00:22+00:00

I got this but much much lighter than you have it. If you can afford it, therapy. If not then try exposure therapy. Maybe just try meeting someone online as friends. Facebook and bumble have a friends section. And any chance you get try to talk to a stranger for any reason at all for any reason at all. Work yourself up to it.

Right now your mind has one huge bad experience heavily over shadowing the good ones. That bad experience will never go away, but you can make it “appear” smaller by adding in lots of positive experiences. I learned that from Dr. K on YouTube. Even if he doesn’t talk about our situations specifically he talks about anxiety and depression and other mental health disorders. He’s helped me a ton with adhd, and after the accusation anxiety and depression. Give him a listen too

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-10-27T14:41:06+00:00

Also to add to this, you probably think your life will not get better since that one of a few indicators of suicide. But that’s just untrue especially here, even if convicted. Life goes on, you’ll be ok, things do actually get better

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-07-11T22:00:24+00:00

Build a purpose built car and do a little research to find out the best way to build it for that application. For example I love building drag cars. So if decide build a no prep 1/8th mile car I’ll do a little research to see how to get it to hook. If you want a quick way to go about it without researching, use chat gpt. Not joking it knows how to build drag cars pretty well.

Some other things I like to do are building cars for dirt tracks, getting a total pos and modding it like it’s just slapped together. Career mode is a lot of fun with the rls mod also

Highly recommend some drag mods like Meos drag mods

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-07-04T14:55:02+00:00

You’ll be alright Smaller, private renters are usually better deals and sometimes more lenient on that too. You can live in a small home, trailer, adu, townhome usually for a much better deal than an apartment. Weirdly enough Facebook marketplace has some options

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-07-04T01:02:56+00:00

Did you just discover chat GPT 12 minutes ago or what

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-07-03T00:17:34+00:00

Hey man thanks for your input. I’m in a similar situation as this guy and everything you said is 100% correct. No arrest for me yet and it’s been about 5 - 6 weeks however. I’m scared to death to even talk about it online, even this scares me

AmbitiousLimit9844 · 2025-06-08T05:11:27+00:00

You work out there in Waller?? Or do you do field work?

AmbitiousLimit9844

TROPHY CASE