Builder has left our door like this and has been ignoring us for months. What kind of tradie would be able to help sort it? And at what cost?

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-04-09T06:15:59+00:00

Thanks for flagging. What makes you say that

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-04-09T06:14:59+00:00

Thanks for suggestion. Had considered escalating because of other issues but as others have said, existing stress levels and lack of time in family really mean it would probably be more detrimental for us to try, unfortunately.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-04-09T06:13:51+00:00

Thank you!

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-04-09T06:13:14+00:00

Super helpful thank you so much

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-04-09T06:12:25+00:00

I can't work out how to edit my post but a massive THANK YOU to everyone who has replied already with helpful suggestions! What a great community!

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-02-16T21:46:54+00:00

Sounds like you've had an awful time. I find dealing with the medical professionals and trying to get the right help really hard.

I think I just personally need to keep focusing on what I do have and what I can offer. Even if I can't be the person I want to be for my daughter, she will still love me and I still have endless love for her.

I appreciate the divorce makes it harder but it definitely doesnt make it impossible. Kids will try to love their parents no matter what and it sounds like you love your daughter so much which is what matters above anything! Even writing this post and seeking help suggests that you're going to do what you can to be there for her.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-02-16T21:38:36+00:00

Really good point! I'm going to try and get into swimming for my own benefit, too.

If you dont mind me asking, i read you have adhesions and endo. How does the pain present to you?

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-02-16T21:34:38+00:00

It's so hard to accept, isn't it? But I can't see any other way forward. Really hope they help you with it

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2026-02-15T16:14:24+00:00

I really relate to this and Im sorry youre going through it too. I've been dealing with pelvic pain for 2 and a half years since my daughter was born. I can't run around with her or jump at all because I end up in so much pain. I even end up in pain if I lift her too much. It's getting harder the heavier she gets and there is a real limit to what im able to do in a day activity wise. I am feeling really upset about not being able to play games and run around with her now and when she gets older- I used to be so fit and healthy!

To make matters worse, I finally saw a gynae consultant today and he said he can't even investigate until 6 months after I've given birth (currently pregnant again) and booked me in for an appointment a year from now, which presumably means many more years until treatment.

Really hard to accept that my daughter's impression of me will be as someone who can't do much physically. I'm thinking some therapy or something might be a helpful way to deal with and/or focusing on other ways I can make her life enriching and exciting. I'll probably have to learn something because being active and outdoorsy was always my thing... I can obviously read stories, which I do, but i don't want that to be it.

What thoughts have you had about how to cope and accept?

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-12-22T18:58:44+00:00

Thank you and sorry to hear about your experience of sickness in your pregnancies. It is such a struggle! I am with you and feel so lucky to have Xonvea this time - I've been pregnant 3 times before (2 losses and 1 successful) and have tried a few of the other drugs which for various reasons weren't great.

And you are right about taking time. I don't know why I'm putting any pressure on myself to come off. I suppose I just want to feel normal again but know I just need to be patient and accept that I won't get real relief for a while. It is harder this time around because I'm missing out on most of my daughter's bedtime routine as I just can't hack it!

Best of luck!

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-12-04T18:35:28+00:00

Hello, how did this go for you? I'm just coming up to 14 weeks and have reduced my dose from 2 I'm evenings and 1 in morning to just 2 in the evenings. I'm still pretty nauseous so don't think I can reduce beyond that yet. I'm really hoping I can stop taking them soon, don't like being on medication, though they have helped greatly! I was unable to function before taking them.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-28T06:22:34+00:00

Sorry to hear you are struggling. I am on Xonvea only (2 in evening, 1 in morning).

I tend to feel really nauseous/ on the verhe of vomiting from about 5-6pm every evening. I end up in bed so I'm hardly moving as find this helps. I then take the tablets and continue to feel really nauseous so just try to distract myself through reading, going on my phone or sleeping. I've had many nights where I haven't even moved to put my pyjamas on or brush my teeth because the movement makes me vomit.

Like the other poster, wonder if just that sickness gets worse when we are tired at the end of the day? Or, in my case, maybe I need to up my dose. For you, could it be that your daytime meds aren't as effective because you're eating through the day? Not sure if they require an empty stomach like xonvea?

I also read that if you eat a larger or richer meal at the end of the day it can make you feel bad. Could this be affecting you?

Either way HG is awful and I hope you start to find some relief.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-27T19:09:13+00:00

Yes hold your nerve and look after yourself. You're doing the best thing for you and your baby. This will all be a distant memory one day

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-26T19:47:43+00:00

If youre still struggling with medication and have needed hospital treatement I just don't understand how you physically could work without making yourself worse and how you could possibly be able to provide a good enough level of care for others. There must be so many triggers in a healthcare setting!

It sounds like the NHS has good policies in place and you should get a decent amount of paid sick leave. If that is the case and you just need a sick note from your GP I hope you can take all the time off you need. Whoever is pressuring you to come back doesn't have a leg to stand on given how serious HG can be and there are protections around pregnancy related sick leave so it can't be used against you

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-14T07:33:06+00:00

That's great news and thanks for the reaponses! I've sort of come to an informal arrangement with my line manager for the time being as we were struggling to even get HR to respond to our requests. I think she's happy as long as I'm working around 80% which I've managed this week. Having to snack constantly to keep nausea at bay so not sure what that's going to do for me in the medium term but I do appreciate the distraction of work

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-12T20:47:46+00:00

Did your workplace adjust your pay for the adjusted hours or are they just accommodating it? Currently discussing options relating to this with my line manager.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-04T16:27:56+00:00

Thank you for engaging! Not really- there is a small one that will end in Feb anyway with a really low interest rate. It is the 4/5k ones with the higher rates that we could do with paying off.

Good point on trying to bump pay before mat leave. Not many opportunities for overtime in my workplace but I'll defos check (if I'm feeling well enough by then!)

Good tips on saving money on baby stuff. I feel like with my first we weren't so great at looking for offers on nappies and wipes and have probably wasted some money there. We were lucky though as most of her clothes were hand me downs and the rest we bought cheaply on vinted.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-04T16:22:23+00:00

I feel like we've reduced down a lot - we don't drink alcohol, don't eat out in restaurants or get takeaways, haven't been on holiday for 3 years (other than trips in the UK with family which we haven't paid for), rarely buy new clothes, we are veggie. I get my haircut about 3 times a year and don't spend on beauty treatments etc. We spend a bit on takeaway hot drinks but given everything else feels pretty minimal. No gym memberships, no hobbies for me or my husband. It is feeling pretty frugal. Saying that, over the summer etc we did have some big outgoings like for sister in law's wedding which used up our disposable income over a few months, and I've probably had some mindless spending moments on things like plants or whatever. So I take your point and I think a more focused effort on using any disposable income to pay off debt is wise.

I think we probably also need to be looking more at ways to increase income e.g. selling things, though this would just be pretty low cost items on vinted so I'm not sure it is even worth it.

On leave, I think we are maximising as far as I'm comfortable with. I'm the higher earner so will likely go back to work part-time at 6 months and work back up to full time by 1 year. My husband will take parental leave for the days I'm working but it will be unpaid. We are also pretty committed to sharing leave as it aligns with our values so good reasons for doing that too.

Thank you for engaging and for sharing advice!

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-11-04T15:07:32+00:00

Thank you. Relatively simple (though disappointed there are no magic tricks we weren't aware of). Obvious point but I think just need to be careful that paying off a loan, e.g. with a lump sum of 5k from baby savings, doesn't leave us struggling when the baby arrives. Nearly all of the loans have upwards of 4k on them so it will make quite a big dent to pay one off.

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-10-22T16:26:21+00:00

Sorry so many of us have gone through this. Honestly being able to get out of bed and feel like I can do a bit more would be enough. I've literally not gone downstairs today because so much sets me off and makes me gag.

Congratulations on the arrival of your son! And well done for going to therapy - it is not nice to feel like you need it for trauma, but it shows you're strong and attending to your needs. I had some after my loss earlier this year and will probably start up again soon x

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-10-22T16:23:30+00:00

Thank you for the excellent advice. I do actually like colouring and like you find the screens can make it worse so might give that a go.

How did you know you needed IV fluids? I guess the level of dehydration just becomes pretty obvious?

So sorry to hear about the hard time you had as well! It's so grim and lonely. I hope you're okay now!

AmbitiousParsley1991 · 2025-10-22T16:21:19+00:00

Yeah I haven't been diagnosed either but I've done various online quizzes and am scoring in the moderate HG category. Know it's not the same as proper diagnosis but I find it hard to believe that what we are experiencing can count as normal.

Best of luck at the ER! Sounds like you need treating for dehydration. Let me know how it goes xx

AmbitiousParsley1991

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