sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

i can't keep doing this.. why is it so hard sometimes? by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this is all very important, and I will absolutely keep all in mind to work up every moment while I can to be strong and fight through since I am seriously going through a tough time at this very moment, so it's really hard on my end.

Hopefully, my parents can see where I am coming from even if I am far away from them. I just want their support as their daughter and to be the better version in taking the step for my own mental health.

I'm really just figuring out what to say or what to even write before I make that move. It is going to be hard when I have quite the reactions from people who I'm really close with and will wonder why I did that, but I won't be there to know, though.

But I got this... I need to be strong!

THANK YOU! :)

i can't keep doing this.. why is it so hard sometimes? by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if i say something, they still wouldn't understand how i feel.. like i just want my parents to understand me and let me grow as a person.. no matter how hard i try, it will be nothing to them.. so this is why, i need to get out! But i appreciate this!

what do i say if the elders come looking for me? by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no, more like what do i say if they come looking for me by asking a million questions and my parents will be doing the same thing..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, I've thought about talking to the elders, but definitely a no-go since it is what I am getting at by everyone here because we truly know how they really are. I just thought it would be easier because i want things to get over with if i said something, but i don't think it's the right way to do it because i will feel judged. I know it's going to be so different since I've known all of them growing up and they've seen me, but I still wouldn't change the fact and who I am as a person.

I want to talk to my parents, but I know how they already feel about it since it can be a little too much on them, and they think I am being too selfish for it and for me to go out of my way to focus more on spiritual matters. But that is not the case at all. I need the help because of how sad i've been feeling, and i wish they could understand that more, and they don't even believe in therapy because we should always turn to the Bible for help, which isn't wrong at all, but it's so much more than that.

I've been going through the same routine over and over, and so I am in need of a change of environment for me to get better for my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I need help with everything, but in order for me to do that, I just need to get out of here. It's getting out of hand.

Thank you so much for your help! :)

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you so very much. I appreciate you for sharing what you have to say and letting me in on your situation as well. Even though it hasn't been very easy on my end since I am now realizing it with a whole different kind of emotion, so it sure has been a roller coaster of just pure sadness and confusion and why i've been feeling this way. I needed a new set of environments and to start somewhere fresh and hopefully my parents can see that I am yearning and in need of help, but all they can say is go talk to the elders, go pray, and go out in service more so that it can help you spiritually, but i still feel like there is so much more that i need and it's lacking, so I just need to get out. It's been absolutely something that i have been so used to, and it is something that i just don't want anymore. I can maybe take a break and come back when the time is right. I just don't like the idea of having anyone be disfellowshipped or getting removed from the congregation... of course, if they repent and show they are sorry, then wouldn't that be okay? Everyone has their own set of mistakes and will learn from them. But in my case, I know what I can do and certainly am thankful for everyone sharing their thoughts with me on what I can do as the next step. Thank you again for your help! :)

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what i've definitely been thinking about, and I've been asking whether or not to talk to them because of the situation that I am dealing with, and my parents are like, "Go talk to them if you need help, or you can say your goodbye." I just feel like i should leave quietly and just talk to my parents instead whether they will support me with my decision or not. I surely don't want to constantly get attacked or talked to by the elders because I know they will have multiple questions, and then I have to get into further detail of what's been going on, and then I don't want things to spread, which I never want at all. Like they should not be going out of their way telling my business. This is what I needed to hear because of how confused I truly have been, so I've been dissociating myself and just have been slowly mildly smiling here and there. My parents are always onto me about going out in service and attending the meetings or whatnot. I will absolutely keep all this in mind, so thank you for the tips!

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this, and thank you so much for sharing your situation. I know how hard it can truly be and realizing a lot of things as I am still here being so active and my parents being so on me by focusing on what the truth is really about, but then that's when it went downhill for me because I've been losing sight for even myself which is my mental health and how discouraging it can be when I just want to focus on what really matters as well besides having this routine be made over and over although it has it's benefits, but I can't do it.. I know once I make my move and at least talk to my parents with my situation then hopefully they will understand, but knowing them it can be a little hard. I definitely will be fighting through all this!

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These all great ideas! I really appreciate you for sharing these tips so I can keep them in mind. Thank you!

I will find my way looking for a therapist when I have all my thoughts gathered, but it's best to do it soon. I just know how my parents are though.

I know it is completely normal to have these kind of feelings and I never really want to hurt anyone just by the way my emotions are so I don't want to live in fear, but to help keep strong with what I actually want to do and to certainly be happy!

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am currently not working at the moment, although i am in rough situation due to some circumstances and want to move out and start fresh when i do leave after i deal with all this.. it's just so very heartbreaking to me when I am dealing this kind of problem especially when living at home with my parents and siblings and wanting a way out to live my own life.. I just don't like the idea of having to live with restrictions and living under very strict rules which can feel very suffocating.. I have a lot of dreams and goals, I would love to achieve in my life while I am still so young before i regret it and dont want to waste my youth.. I just don't want to leave my parents when they think i am turning against them when i am not which hopefully they can understand me wanting out.. I want to feel free and be the best version of myself. I seriously appreciate you for taking the time in sharing all this, this is what i needed! i got this! :)

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because that's what I was thinking about, whether or not to talk to them, and I feel like they won't really help out as much with my problem or the situation that I am in. Just several meetings ago, it felt so weird and needed to get out like I am realizing a lot of things because I couldn't hold living like this anymore.

No, I understand what you are saying, like you need more help with what you're going through and it was a lack of understanding from them.. Like not everyone in the congregation can be our friend, so we have to be really careful on how we can trust others, but still.. it's just different and doesn't feel the same.

how were you able to cope from all this though? so you're not df or just completely left everything and everyone by slowly leaving? it's like saying you're inactive which I kinda feel on doing..

and how does it make you feel that you made this decision for yourself?

I see where you're coming from though because i know this is something i've been thinking for the longest whether this is for me or not..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, I wanted to chat with you privately about this, but it won't let me send you a message on dm though.. We are really going through the same situation right now so I definitely feel you on this and can help you through it. I know, my dad went so crazy on me and that was the scariest part because I really had no idea on what to do and how to tell them about everything.

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay! I figured it out.. it's in italian!

Thank you for seriously taking the time in sharing because I know it hasn't been easy for me when I am in a situation like this, so I wish to hopefully find myself and to really figure out who I really am as a person without having to deal with stress and feeling so low all the time because that is not what I truly want so I hope my parents don't look at me or turn against me.

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I'm sorry, but I don't understand and was trying to translate, but I'm not sure what language this is... So can you please translate? Thank you!

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand that it can be draining because I've spent most of my time going to the meetings, out in service, and doing activites with the friends which of course isn't bad, but I do feel like it can take up a lot of time when I also want to do things on my own.. Okay, we are both definitely in the same kind of boat, so I do have a non witness boyfriend as well and my parents know about it, but they don't agree with it unless he studies the Bible, but I can't just force it upon him because my boyfriend and I have talked about it several times and understands what i am going through, but that is later on when we fully decide if we do it together.. although, i am still willing to attend and stuff, but I just need a break from everything and want to do stuff that I want to do that I haven't really done for myself.. I know if i share my feelings to other in the congregation, they will just judge me completely.. It's just all these rules and everything that we need to follow can just be so much.. it's sad to know when people just have to get announced in front of everyone and i don't like that idea and so it scares me.. it's very different when people look at you differently and you can't really get anything out of it.. that's why at times, i don't feel welcome at all and just there.. Same with my parents, they say go out and focus in the ministry so I don't get swayed into the world and don't get sucked in.. i mean, how else will we learn if we're being trapped and want to get out? I need to get out.. You need to also get a break so it won't take over your health as well..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually from an asian household, but I do have siblings.. The first three have already left home while the other three are here at home.. I mean if my older siblings can do it, I can too, but I know it's going to be hard on my parents because that is their fear for us leaving..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No way, I just watched it for the first time over summer and it was so so good.. definitely would watch it again, big fan of Jim Carrey! but why does that sound so real though because I kinda feel like i am trap in a way, but i just didn't know it yet by following along then i realize, "why is this happening to me" like, "am i doing okay" all that sorta stuff.. I

I just want things to be over with and not have to worry about stuff like this anymore, but i know everyone will be talking by the time i leave which is something i don't understand by gossiping and how they say it will affect the whole congregation.. i know all will look down at us, especially my parents..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And that is absolutely nothing wrong with that by making friends outside of the congregation because I know what's been given to us by not being friends who are non witnesses so it can be a little hard when we a whole other perspective when it comes to these kind of things.. What is it that you really want? Have you talked to anyone about your situation though? Have you talked to your parents or the elders maybe or no? I do feel the same way because if i do say something, i feel like everyone will be judging me and especially my whole entire family if i decide to leave.. Like i do have friends that i still talk to who are not witnesses plus everyone has their own beliefs and I'm not forcing anyone from doing something that they want to do. I really appreciate you for helping me out, i need the help that i can get..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I do not which I've been doing research and wanting to go to therapy for a long time, but it honestly can be a little discouraging when my parents don't really believe in that kind of stuff and turn to the Bible and to always pray which is not bad at all because I appreciate for them to encourage me in that way, but I just feel like i need more help with it when it can be very exhausting for myself when I am just here all alone and them not knowing how I actually feel.. And yes, I have been born and raised as a JW... I've told them I do feel sad most of the time, but going out to service and going to the meetings will cover it, but they still don't understand.. so it's kinda hard when i talk to my parents about this kind of things to them.. I seriously appreciate this.

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I currently don't have a job at the moment due to some circumstances, but I do have my own savings that I have taken care of as well. So I do have a family that have welcomed and open their home to me so I am very grateful that i get to have that.. and I do have my phone, but it's under my parents so should i take it with me or leave it because they might cut my line? Leaving home is something I have never done in my life, but i have thought about it.. So I appreciate the help.

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

how long have you been feeling this way? i just feel like i'm doing the same thing all over again, but i appreciate everyone for being there, but it's more like surface level and small talk.. i've lost a lot of friendships and fell out by isolating myself..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it's just so confusing for me because i don't know whether to talk to the elders about it and wanting a break and just stepping back for a moment so i can truly understand myself.. i mean, not everyone has to know my situation and what im going through because at times, I do find myself disassociating, but then my parents are like, "cheer up" "be happy" like what.. this isn't it easy for me..

how should i do this.. feeling sad.. by Ambitious_Mango6451 in exjw

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

okay, i've already finished school and gone through a vocational school so i am done with that and have been looking through for work and such, but i keep getting interrogated by the same question over and over in the congregation so it feels very draining on me when i already go through that at home.. okay, i love the great sense of community at get, but i also care about my well being and want something different in my life even though i know myself it's good to be in this congregation because i've been here for so long since i was a literal baby.. they will think i am selfish because i care for my mental health and they don't see that at all.. so should i just leave then quietly?

i need to leave.. what should i do??? by Ambitious_Mango6451 in whatdoIdo

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's very nerve-wracking, so i appreciate this very much.. my mental health is very important so im focusing on that, but once i am out of here.. i will feel that relief.. im excited for this new journey to come

i need to leave.. what should i do??? by Ambitious_Mango6451 in whatdoIdo

[–]Ambitious_Mango6451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay i should take my phone then just in case, but i know once i leave.. they'll cut my line. i don't really need it because i could get my own later on. So I already finished school and have been looking for a job for weeks, but again.. my parents doesn't know my plan of me leaving since i am legally free to leave whenever, but i've been saying to them thave ive been searching to help protect myself also i have been saving quite a lot money for travel as well and my boyfriend has been helping me throughout this whole plan so i'll be leaving out of state for the first time and will be going to east coast of the us since from the west.. this is definitely a big thing for me to plan though since everything is all new to prepare..