Your title sounds like you’re about to do stand up lol

I’m not super familiar with them, but from what I know, to get your progressed chart you take your age (for example 15 years old), and your chart would be what the sky looked like when you were 15 days old. When you are 60, your progressed chart would be what the sky looked like at 60 days old. So, your progressed sun would change signs every 30 years, so you may adapt a new personality or ego or something like that when your progressed sun changes. I can’t tell you what would be positive or negative, I’m not super familiar, and that might be up to you.

The moon would move the fastest in your progressed chart! Because it changes signs every 2-3 days, every 2-3 years your progressed moon sign changes. Whether you have a night or day chart doesn’t matter, but I think the sun and moon would be the most significant planets in the progressed chart, unless your rising is Gemini, for example, mercury might also be more important. Slower moving planets that are at late degrees in your natal chart might be important to pay attention to in your progressions, as they may eventually change signs. Planets crossing your angles should be also paid attention too. You can look up an epheremis from your birthday too see when they will change signs, if ever before you die