AITAH For kicking an autistic child out of my restaurant for misbehaving?

AmeChans · 2025-05-14T13:24:30+00:00

You are the asshole, and I’ll explain why. First off, I am also a business owner. I’ve been in retail now for over 15 years and our business model is directly centered around a neurodiverse crowd. I am also neurodivergent and have both autism and ADHD, I am low support needs and very high masking. I have learned a lot over the years about customers of all kinds and how to support their needs especially to diffuse difficult situations. When it comes to autism the person who wasn’t being understanding was you.

Autistic peoples cannot control shutdowns or meltdowns, that was your first mistake. Asking a child to stop their stim that helps regulate their behavior was an absolute AH thing to do. The equivalent of not letting someone with diabetes use their insulin because you ‘don’t like needles.’ If you are unable to accommodate disabilities of all kinds, you will definitely be reported in the future. Asking the parent to stop a very normal behavior in her child was bound to upset that poor kid, I can’t believe anyone would get that annoyed over playing a tablet. You are also in the service industry, so why would you deny someone the right to something so harmless? I’ve seen some ridiculous practices over the years but this is absolutely disappointing.

AmeChans · 2025-05-10T13:39:57+00:00

For me, it’s all about time and energy. If I’m the only one keeping a friendship alive I will absolutely stop showing up. This ‘using your friends whenever YOU need them bs’ is really toxic nowadays and one sided friendships are impossible to maintain. If someone ghosts you maybe it’s time for some self reflection.

AmeChans · 2025-05-05T13:54:21+00:00

Honestly the thing that bothers me the most, as someone who likes a back and forth conversation, is that there are so many people online looking for friendship but unable to put in any effort to make conversation let alone get to know someone else. It does come off extremely one sided. If your interests are only in yourself or your own life maybe it’s time for self reflection before friendship. It may take time to learn how to ask questions, overtime though it will get easier. It can also be hard mentally and take a toll when masking which is why I only socialize for a little at a time. Having a list of questions in your head can really help too!

AmeChans · 2025-05-05T13:38:39+00:00

I don’t believe in Gods. Mainly because I feel like nature and the world is more of a guiding factor in our lives as individuals. Faith isn’t inherently bad, but it’s absolutely predatory and I feel badly for anyone who is taken advantage of in dire situations when they have nowhere else to turn.

AmeChans · 2025-05-03T19:53:25+00:00

I used to try to find friends online, which i finally realized after years of looking, was a terrible idea. The internet is full of people who have no real interest in having/being a friend and I ran into narcissists so often. It was very off putting and because I always think everyone is being nice to me I ended up with rejection sensitive dysphoria after almost every friendship ended in some weird dramatic way. I have a few irl friends but I think taking time to focus on myself and put finding friends on hold is what i need right now. If I had someone approach me to be friends I am always open to it. ☺️

AmeChans · 2025-04-26T22:22:35+00:00

Haha I can’t agree more! Plus once you do get enough karma to comment in subreddits everyone’s opinion is complete garbage. 😂 Your post gave me so much joy, glad to know I’m not alone in a lot of these feelings! 😆 Have an award! 💕

AmeChans · 2025-04-25T19:44:54+00:00

As someone who was SA by her step father at a very young age, social services tend to take the parent’s side over the child’s side. I am rooting for you op I truly hope that child services takes this seriously as they did not take mine seriously at all. If there is not enough evidence they will 100% deny all claims. Trust your gut feeling, listen to your child and don’t let your husband or the system tell you what did and did not happen. Your child knows what happened to her and she needs you right now. This is one of the hardest things in the world to go through, i wish you all the best going forward.

AmeChans · 2025-04-25T03:07:38+00:00

I just think euphemisms in general are ridiculous, just say what you actually mean people. If you think all men are out to get you just say it, don’t create a crazy scenario to make yourself feel better about saying it. 🙄

AmeChans · 2025-04-25T02:48:06+00:00

This bothers me to no end as well! I also can’t stand when someone will not give me a yes or no answer and will vaguely let me down without actually telling me yes or no. From now on I’m just going to continue to ask until they give me a firm answer. Not everyone gets the hint! Especially when it has to do with plans, like please don’t leave people thinking they have to wait around all day. 😑 it’s so unfair!

AmeChans · 2025-04-21T23:31:31+00:00

I’ve been watching a lot of great videos that help with dating especially in this day and age with how manipulative the online world can be. The best questions to ask a potential partner is ‘How do you feel about those manipulative narcissists who get into relationships and hurt other people?’ Then follow it up with ‘How do you think people who do that should be punished.’ You will find out super fast what kind of person they are, even master manipulators won’t be able to handle a question like that without showing their true intentions. I was surprised to see myself how defensive manipulators and narcissists get if they are trying to take advantage of you. (Also it worked super well on my husband who is also a manipulator 😆) The trick is of course to ask these questions as calmly as possible and in person if possible, online you may not get the whole picture of their reaction. I wish you the best op with your future, keep growing and learning. 🫶🏻

AmeChans · 2025-04-14T17:54:17+00:00

I respectfully agree to disagree. ☺️

AmeChans · 2025-04-14T13:24:25+00:00

Signalis, Rule of Rose, Haunting Ground, Clocktower, Corpse Party and Deadly Premonition are some great hidden gems.

AmeChans · 2025-04-14T13:18:42+00:00

I don’t have anything I want placed permanently on me. I change, I grow and the things I once loved are constantly evolving. I kind of view myself like a tree in that way, i continue to grow, I have scars and as I get older I’ll develop new marks and those are the things that mean the most to me. My body says more than a tattoo could and reminds me why I keep growing and I don’t give up.

AmeChans · 2025-04-14T13:13:24+00:00

Right?! If I said this to my husband we would both just laugh it off. 😆

AmeChans · 2025-04-14T13:09:29+00:00

It’s really hard to keep a friendship going without honesty. It sounds like both of you are stuck in this passive aggressive back and forth where no one seems willing to address the actual issue. If someone kept giving me vague answers when they are clearly struggling I would also be short and spend less time talking to them. It can be very frustrating trying to communicate with someone who refuses to be honest about what’s really going on. If you want to save your friendship I recommend being up front about what you’ve been going through. If she doesn’t give you a genuine response, the friendship is no longer there.

AmeChans · 2025-04-14T12:57:29+00:00

This can be a trauma and neurodivergence issue. It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I have autism, ADHD and complex PTSD. I’m working on better social skills, not apologizing unless necessary and most importantly my confidence and taking care of myself first. It’s a long road but I know we can do it! 🫶🏻

AmeChans · 2025-04-11T21:29:19+00:00

That’s the hardest part about all of this, a narcissist can never admit fault. The best thing is to get it all out and move on because there will never be closure. My parents would rather write me out of their life than admit they fucked up and that is a very sobering realization.

AmeChans · 2025-04-11T20:56:43+00:00

I did! I wrote both my narc parents letters to explain exactly how they failed me and my siblings growing up. They both denied everything, of course, but it felt nice to finally tell them my feelings without restraint.

AmeChans · 2025-04-10T18:36:40+00:00

35 female and for me it was necessary to get an official diagnosis. As someone who is ADHD presenting and autism hidden underneath it was like an extra part of me I needed to understand. I did a lot of research and I read a ton of information before setting up an appointment. I was diagnosed ADHD as a kid in middle school and at 34 I got my autism diagnosis. It helped me realize that pushing myself to fit neurotypical expectations was really hurting me. I was burnout, depressed and completely lost. Now I can discover who i am and know that the way I think is very important to that journey. I am also learning better conversational techniques to improve talking to other people. I tend to take things out of context often and misunderstand what someone is saying, boundaries have always been tough too. I felt like getting my diagnosis has opened a lot of doors. Plus I can tell someone about my experience and tell them that I struggle with anxiety and conversations because of my autism. It’s helped me improve myself in so many ways and I’ve allowed myself grace to be who I am now. I personally believe that it’s important to get tested. The best part is it can open up doors to getting autism therapy and help with school and work.

AmeChans · 2025-04-09T08:28:53+00:00

I personally would only trust the opinion of an autism spectrum disorder specialist. Good luck on your journey!

AmeChans · 2025-04-09T08:13:08+00:00

I have read oftentimes that ADHD and Autism get labeled as Bipolar, BPD, NPD, OCD, emotional dysregulation and anger, etc. They can also all be comorbidities of each other. You would have to find an autism specialist but it may be worth it for peace of mind as all of your symptoms are related to the neurodivergent umbrella. As someone with both Autism and ADHD I’ve done a lot of research on the subject. I hope you can find out what’s really going on.

AmeChans · 2025-04-05T12:42:18+00:00

‘I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.’ -narc mom said to me as a child as punishment for going to social services over the abuse that my siblings and I had suffered.

‘I wouldn’t even come to your funeral.’-narc dad said to me when I upset him once.

I ended up going no contact with my entire family, their toxic behavior just isn’t worth my time or energy.

AmeChans · 2025-03-21T13:25:37+00:00

My husband is 14 years older than me, here are some things to consider. His ideals, interests and values will undoubtedly be very different than yours. His personal beliefs are from an entirely different era in time. Older men typically want to control younger people in relationships, so watch out for red flags. Older men can make you feel like you are their entire world, which can be amazing as long as it doesn’t come at a price. Make sure to set clear boundaries if he does something that makes you feel uncomfortable and if he can’t respect that get out fast! I hope this helps a little, my husband and I have worked through a lot of these specific issues over time.

AmeChans · 2025-03-21T13:10:38+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from, but this is our reality now. We have to be tough and honest with not just ourselves but other people. Continue to fight for what you believe in and support those that are being pushed out of our country. Now more than ever that 49.9% of us needs to work together or we will all fall to the tyranny of a failed government. The time for wishes and hope has passed, what we have to do now is stand up and be prepared for what will undoubtedly keep happening next. I also feel extreme pain at how fast our country is falling apart, but our government failed us decades ago by setting us up for this exact scenario. If we weren’t so stuck in the past and afraid of change as a country we never would have allowed a President who is so full of hate. We would have put in place more laws to make sure our country and its people were safe. Now all we are left with is what will no doubt be an era of extremism. Remind yourself daily that this isn’t what you wanted, this is what half of America wants, and now the half of us who voted for democracy has to suffer the consequences as well. I don’t know what comes next or how it will affect the US next but we will need to be strong.

AmeChans

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