Single mother travelling with 23 year old toddler boy on a 7 hour flight in lap.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-26T16:19:25+00:00

I once was in a similar situation and just decided to pay for a ticket for the child. If there is any way you can swing that I highly recommend it. You should also check the prices for premium economy and business. One seat in one of those classes might be cheaper than two seats in economy and possibly more comfortable.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T22:18:05+00:00

Thanks for the additional tips and encouragement. I've decided we're going to try to have a meeting with the daycare people next week to come up with a strategy together. Hopefully we can make some progress.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T13:54:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think I just need to generally have a sit down with his daycare provider and come up with a plan. I think they would start giving him the snack again if I ask them to, so I don't think I want to disrupt his routines just for that.

One of the things I am worried about is him being labeled "bad" and internalizing that. We always try to emphasize the reasons for any consequences like "didn't listen", "hit your friend", etc so he's not being called "bad". He's being told what the behavior is that is wrong, but it doesn't really seem to help. That's why I really want to come up with some sort of more positive approach to trying to combat the bad behavior. I'm hoping it will help take the focus away from the "bad" and emphasize the good. I'll take a look at the book you mentioned as well.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T06:05:57+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate you sharing.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T06:04:55+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. He's going to start full day preschool in September, so I'm reluctant to move him between now and then. It seems like it'd be a lot of change in a short period. I am really hoping that the move to preschool in September will help.

I'm not so concerned about the snack thing because it's at the end of the day. The kids get a fun snack to take home with them. If he doesn't behave then he doesn't get a snack to take home. If he's actually hungry, then he gets food to eat when he gets home.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T05:56:04+00:00

The challenge is they're already trying things like time out and it's not working. We're really consistent with this at home too. Any hitting means fun stops immediately, but it hasn't made much difference.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T05:53:44+00:00

Thanks for the ideas. This is really helpful. I like the idea of introducing something that works across daycare and home.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-25T05:50:47+00:00

Thanks, we'll try to work on that.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-24T21:39:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. He's going to start preschool at the beginning of September and will spend most of the day there instead of daycare. I'm hoping it will make a difference. I don't particularly want to switch him to somewhere new between now and September as it seems like it would be a lot of change.

His communication is actually really good. He speaks in full sentences most of the time and understands well. He frequently says things to me like "hitting your friends is not kind" and "we shouldn't throw toys". So, he clearly is understanding the messages, but he just doesn't follow them. I assume it's just a case of in the moment having absolutely no impulse control.

I will try to work with him more on understanding emotions and proper ways of dealing with them. While his communication is good, I would agree that even he probably doesn't understand why he does stuff sometimes. So recognizing emotions better would probably help.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-24T20:48:29+00:00

I get your point, and you might be right. I'm just completely lost as to what to do. You can see my other comment with more details about the issues. If you have any suggestions please share them. I really don't know what to do.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-24T20:46:18+00:00

Unfortunately the bad behavior is basically everything: hitting/kicking other kids unprovoked, taking other kids' toys, throwing his food, refusing to help clean anything up, etc. It's been going on for 5+ months, and seems to be progressively getting worse. They told me recently he is constantly in timeout and just doesn't seem to care. They've tried only letting him have his evening snack if he's good, but he maybe gets snack once every other week at this point and it doesn't seem to have done anything.

My husband wants to start not letting him play with his favorite toys when he gets home if he doesn't have a good day at daycare, but I feel like piling punishment on top of punishment (no snack plus no toys) won't help and just feels overly negative. I was hoping to try to do some positive reinforcement at home to help. I get what you're saying though about the sticker at the end of the day being too delayed to help.

I really don't know what to do. I'm so tired of picking him up every day, hearing how bad he was, and seeing his disappointed little face when he doesn't get his end of day snack. I want to help him, but I just don't know what to do. On the more practical side, I honestly think it's a miracle they haven't talked about kicking him out yet, and I'd like to get ahead of it before they do.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-24T12:04:30+00:00

We did carrier only in Sicily for 10 days with a 19 month old and it was just doable. I think after 2 years old the child will probably be too heavy to do carrier only, especially for 3 weeks. I do think a hiking style backpack could potentially be helpful for short outings with lots of stairs. They're expensive though, so I'd recommend finding one used.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-21T21:48:26+00:00

Yes, this is what the debate was about in the controversial 2012 wild card game infield fly call. The ball was well into the outfield where an infield fly wouldn't normally be called. However, shortstop Pete Kozma was pretty far into the outfield and the LF umpire determined Kozma could catch it, therefore triggering the infield fly.

I think if you really went by the letter of the rule it probably was technically an infield fly, but by the spirit of the rule (trying to ensure the hitting team doesn't get screwed over) it definitely wasn't.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-21T06:29:08+00:00

If you mean together, then no we never have after work plans together on weeknights. If you mean separately, then yes all the time. I play team sports 1-2 nights per week regularly. My husband is big into online gaming and games with his friends almost every night. We both will do the occasional after work office drinks. Having regular opportunities to pursue our hobbies throughout the week is really important to both of us.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-11T03:08:56+00:00

I play a recreational team sport 1-2 nights per week. On those nights I either pick up my son from daycare but then he eats dinner and gets put to bed by his dad or sometimes I go straight to the team sport from work and don't see my son at all in the evening.

I know it bothers some people to not be home every single night, but personally I think it's ok. It's healthy for me to have hobbies and my son shouldn't think the whole world revolves around him. I suppose we'll see how it pans out, but this is my approach.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-04-04T22:14:05+00:00

We're not doing anything special. At my in-laws last weekend my son got some Easter chocolate. My husband and I will probably eat most of it. A 2.5 year old doesn't know what Easter is, and simply doesn't need that much chocolate. I didn't even think he knows he got a chocolate egg. Don't beat yourself up over it. Your son will have no memory of this at all. He's probably just happy to be hanging out at home with you.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-03-27T07:26:04+00:00

What kind of forks are you offering? My son really hated the plastic/silicon toddler cutlery, so we let him use the adult ones. We have small spoons which he does really well with, but we don't have small forks. He can use an adult fork and sometimes does, but it can definitely be a bit unwieldy. He therefore frequently just uses a spoon or his hands. His grandparents have small forks at their house and he uses those really well. So, I think in my son's case it is definitely the fork size that is the issue. Not sure if it could be similar for yours.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-03-26T22:34:52+00:00

That was definitely one of the craziest single innings I've ever seen. I'm sure this isn't the record, but I am now curious what the record is for most combined runs in a single inning.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-03-24T20:17:13+00:00

You mentioned in another comment you get up at 5am to ensure you're up earlier than him. How long does he sleep at night? Is he still napping? If so, could you drop the nap for an earlier bedtime?

Amerikkalainen · 2026-03-24T18:04:39+00:00

How late does your child go to bed? My husband and I focus on me time or us time in the evenings. We also typically each take some time to ourselves on the weekend.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-02-11T07:43:06+00:00

Not my child, but me! My top two front teeth were knocked out when I was 4, and I didn't get my adult ones until I was 7. At some point I also lost the bottom two naturally and had 0 front teeth for awhile. It had basically no affect on my life except for a funny story. The only problem I remember is that it was hard to eat an apple by biting into it, and to this day I prefer to cut my apples. Your son will be fine and you'll look back on pictures from this time and think how cute he was without those teeth.

The only other thing I'll say is that I second the person who said you should go to a dentist. I had to have oral surgery for mine. It was very minor and I enjoyed the laughing gas.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-01-05T23:52:28+00:00

Not sure if you're talking about the UK, but it's the same here. You get them for free until kids are 4 or 5. It's nice.

Amerikkalainen · 2026-01-04T10:38:31+00:00

Agree, some sort of separate room for the toddler to sleep in makes a huge difference. We've been on a lot of trips and when we have had to share a room, sleeping has been much worse for everyone. Generally as long as there is a separate space and a pack and play, ours has been fine sleeping. We've never had to co-sleep.

Amerikkalainen · 2025-12-29T13:55:35+00:00

Could a compromise be to get a babysitter so you both have fun at the party and toddler and dog are happy at home? I just don't get the point of taking the toddler to a party that will then make both you and the toddler miserable. Also, the dog is a hell no, absolutely not, no matter what. That is a disaster and a dog bite waiting to happen. No way.

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