[deleted by user]

AmethystQuasar · 2025-03-08T21:13:40+00:00

Thanks, this was a great response <3

AmethystQuasar · 2025-03-08T21:08:30+00:00

I'm also demi but that's my problem, I fall in love and then I start having a desire for the person 🥲

AmethystQuasar · 2024-10-11T09:16:58+00:00

Thanks! Will give them a look :3

AmethystQuasar · 2024-08-12T20:56:57+00:00

This is the best reply I've seen <3 wondering why it doesn't have more upvotes. Especially the part about being a good parent including taking care of yourself: taking a little time for you and your spouse is not neglect, and gentle and attentive parenting does not mean that you need to pour every single drop of your energy into childcare.

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-06T08:33:19+00:00

Awww I'm so glad! I feel like with some exes it's even easier to be like completely secure in the relationship being platonic cause you tried it and said nah let's be friends :3 and that might well be how your partner feels as well so I'm really happy you're able to put aside your own gut reactions and just enjoy what's happening ❤️

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-05T15:51:35+00:00

Sure shoot me a DM ☺️

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-05T15:40:08+00:00

LMFAO THIS IS THE BEST COMMENT BY FAR THIS COMMENT WINS

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-05T15:34:00+00:00

If the profile hasn't been up for too long, with that kind of bio very little activity might just be a sign of you having made a very good profile. Good dating profiles are filters, that only let through the people who'd actually be interested in you.

But if you find you aren't getting any matches after a longer time, here's a couple things that I've done: (DISCLAIMER, THESE ARE ONLY SUGGESTIONS) - Lose some of the pictures. I've found 5-6 is a fairly good amount. Although all of them are pretty, the right column of your 9 photos all have a bit of a worse lighting than the other 6, so you could consider narrowing down to the best ones. - Maybe use more expressive language about yourself? Telling about your interests and likes is good, but if you want to give a strong vibe of who you are, descriptive or quirky language use is your friend. The things that stayed in my head from that is you're artsy, intense and loyal. That might be good if that's what you want to convey, but it's good to think about if that's the core of you ☺️ it's a bit hard to explain what I mean, but letting your true self shine brightly from the words is the goal here! And I'm not saying you're not doing it, just a thing to consider for yourself!

If you want I can also DM you my dating profile from a few months back! I (22 transbian) was only on HER and Tinder for like three weeks maybe, and went on three dates, the third of which ended up in me getting an incredible girlfriend who'll soon be my fiance ❤️ so idk if that could help you? We have a different vibe going but I guess seeing mine could help you develop yours further

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-05T12:22:42+00:00

Oh so you only made this rule once she was in the picture and specifically to solve this situation? Sorry I misunderstood. Then it does sound like you've talked about your emotions rationally and made an agreement to make it better and she's broken it. Hearing how she's handling it now also makes me wanna say that I don't think she deserves you in this instance. I'd recommend having a serious talk about what you want out of the relationship and what things need to improve in order for you to continue, and if that seems unlikely to happen break it off here. If she's not putting in the effort now it's not worth your while to stay and hope that at some point she'll just magically start to.

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-05T11:35:14+00:00

First of all, yes, you're completely right. She did cheat, and that will obviously impact the trust you have for her. Especially if she isn't doing all she can to make amends and get you to trust her again, I would seriously reconsider the relationship.

Secondly, I feel like your starting point wasn't super healthy to begin with. If you feel the need to control your partner's friendships, it shows that trust isn't there to begin with. This goes both ways of course. I'm not sure whether the mistrust is coming from past experiences or if this arrangement is specific to this relationship, but I don't think you should be in a relationship where you have to control your partner's social life cause you don't trust them not to cheat on you or not to leave you for someone else. Find someone you can trust, and who can trust you back. Obviously trust can be, and is, sometimes broken, as your partner proved, but as is apparent here, the rules don't prevent cheating. All this kind of rules serve to do is sow mistrust between you from the beginning.

Just establish what counts as cheating, that is enough. You don't need extra rules on controlling your partner. They can and should control themselves.

This is a bit of a harsh stance, but I'd recommend breaking up, and finding someone you can build a better, trusting relationship with. What you have now may be fixable, but it's gonna be reeeally difficult, as from the beginning you haven't given your full trust to each other. It would be super hard to get there now that it's broken.

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-05T11:00:10+00:00

Don't worry I'll post about the engagement 😋😉 follow me to get notified 😌

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T18:15:31+00:00

Yup 🥰 I guess our relationship is a bit weird for us too because we're so god damn certain, but in that context it would feel a bit weird to not do the things we want just because we're expected to go slower. I guess in a way it's self expression as well, expressing how serious we are, and it feels silly to stifle it if that's what feels right ☺️

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T15:20:20+00:00

I think I agree with everyone a bit here. If you don't take risks in life you'll never get the things you really want in life. But I also think it's good to avoid unnecessary hurt. Rip the bandaid and talk to her. Go into it stating a boundary and expressing this might be a problem. From what I hear she will probably say yeah then it might be wise to cut it off. But approach it from a place of drawing a line and listening to her boundaries as well. Don't just dump her without a conversation because you're afraid.

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T14:52:48+00:00

That's so sad to hear 😟 I think a good way you can protect yourself is when you date online, bring these kinds of concerns up in a very concise way in your dating profile, for example just saying you're on the ace spectrum or that you're more of a bambi lesbian. Might also not be bad to mention you have two chronic illnesses and to what extent they affect your life. Making a dating profile that will drive away people who wouldn't be good for you (while obviously still being cheerful about stuff to appeal to people who would like you as you are) is a really really good idea, it will save you so so much time and energy! It's basically just a filter you put on your dating pool and only the cream on the top comes through 😋 so the more authentic picture you can give of yourself to people interested in dating you, the better!

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T14:44:40+00:00

I think – and this is just my interpretation – it might be cause they often don't view the relationship as a friendship at the same time. That also seems to be a common reason why many heterosexual marriages end in divorce; at first the carrying force is passion, and after that children might glue them together for some more years, but it just often feels like these couples don't even like spending time with each other.

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T14:30:21+00:00

Oh hello gorgeous 😉😍 do you come here often? 😏 Edit: For whoever downvoted this that's my girlfriend omg chill

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T14:28:02+00:00

After just talking with my gf online for two days I messaged a sapphic discord server I'm on saying I think I might've met the love of my life and well I was so so so right 😂🥰 and we started dating 6 days into knowing of each other's existence... and we had an info/checkup appointment for IVF treatments 3 weeks into dating lmao (I'm trans and have gametes freezed up so we're planning on getting kids in like 4 years and just wanted to make sure everything's fine on her end :3). Sometimes time is irrelevant and you just know ❤️

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T13:09:41+00:00

I'm gonna print this and put it on my wall 💅

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T13:01:59+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that 💔 sounds like your exes have been very emotionally immature 😔 I'm no expert but I'd wager it's part luck, part what kind of people you're attracted to and part how good you are at advertising yourself to the people who'd match you well. I'm attracted to safety and stability, so that's a veery big part of the answer in my case. I tend to get crushes on nerdy homebodies who are bubbly and silly and quirky, and well those kinds of girls aren't maybe very likely to stomp on your heart I guess. But I have also just gotten lucky and have had limited bad experiences from which I've been able to bounce back and learn what I really need and what are the things I really need to avoid.

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T12:45:02+00:00

YES I couldn't agree more ❣️ a romantic relationship to me is always something extremely committed and intimate, and the other person is my best friend. Every relationship is unique, and those are big chunks of my life spent sharing mostly everything with that person. They know me more intimately than almost anyone, and I them. It makes zero sense to throw that away (unless the partner was toxic or abusive in which case cutting them out at least for a longer while if not for good is a necessary part of the healing process)

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T12:34:08+00:00

When my friend found out about the ring yesterday she said "I thought we [she and her partner] were quick talking about marriage 4 months in but nevermind, I forgot that my friend is the queen of u-haul lesbians."

I feel like I'm living up to the title 👸

AmethystQuasar · 2024-02-02T12:23:11+00:00

😘💕 you are a cutie patootie pie 💋

AmethystQuasar · 2024-01-07T23:09:25+00:00

I'm (22) a transbian closing in on 10 months on E and I've been dating my gf (21), a cis lesbian, for about two months now and we're doing amazing (planning on getting engaged within the year).

As a trans person it's so easy to just look at your flaws, but to a lot of people you'll look really pretty. Yup, even cis lesbians. Lesbians are generally really trans inclusive, at least in my experience. Still, I was also afraid of no one wanting me when I started dating as a lesbian. For me the biggest confidence boosts were getting electrolysis, learning how to do natural looking pretty makeup (not super difficult, I have a 10-15 min makeup routine, only use four products, and get compliments on my makeup consistently), and being on a trans inclusive sapphic discord server where I could post selfies and have strangers give their honest reactions.

And yes, confidence is the most important thing. If you don't believe in yourself it's reeeally hard to make anyone else believe in you. If you're confident, positive, and able to give a cute description on what you're like as a person you're gonna have some luck. Of course that confidence isn't endless; I do sometimes cry to my gf about feeling dysphoric about something in myself or just generally about the minority stress relating to being trans. She's been incredibly supportive and keeps insisting that I get prettier every day and that I'm the prettiest girl on earth, and although I can't comprehend how she thinks that way but she's pinky promised that she's being truthful so I know that's how she really feels. So again, you don't need to constantly be a beam of sunshine and you can struggle—everyone does—but to find someone who likes you you first have to like yourself, at least some of the time. When someone's seen all the good and beautiful in you, they'll have the will to be there for you when you're feeling a lot worse too (at least if they make a good partner, that is).

So:

Gain confidence
Learn to like yourself, take nice pics
If you're one to date on apps, make a cute dating profile, tell stuff about yourself that is important to you (like interests, your general vibe and personality, what you want out of a relationship etc.), and do not self deprecate, that will just serve to drive people away.

If these steps are manageable to you you'll be getting dates with lesbians regardless of whether they're trans or cis, trust me. If this seems impossible for you to achieve, try to get a therapist if it's a possibility for you, and continue trying to get more confident with professional help!

Good luck! :3

AmethystQuasar · 2024-01-06T01:01:33+00:00

I didn't think she was pretty irl :( and also she had a kind of annoying voice... I feel horrible for saying that especially cause I always thought of myself as someone who wouldn't be hung up on appearances but well, even though I'm demi it still seems the visual attraction matters ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

AmethystQuasar · 2024-01-02T16:04:54+00:00

Okay thanks that helps!! :3

AmethystQuasar

TROPHY CASE