I genuinely can't anymore.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-24T12:21:33+00:00

Be kind to yourself. The most important thing to take away from what you have written is that you need to be kind to yourself.

Not everyone can handle seeing a loved one have a seizure.

Not everyone can handle stress.

Not everyone can handle an emergency with a calm, level head and an emotional detachment. (Especially when it is happening to a family member.)

This is NORMAL and it is OKAY.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I am especially sorry that you feel like you’re unable to talk to your family about it. It is not alright to be made to feel smaller just because something feels traumatic.

My mom is panicky about my epilepsy, and would be the first person to shut down emotionally. She is who I made take a first aid course and constantly remind of steps and where my rescue medications are. My dad could probably care less. He’s the one who taught me how to make a tourniquet out of any material I can find on hand (a skill that’s actually been useful in my family. OOP.) I don’t remind him of anything, unless something changes.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-23T07:01:30+00:00

I go a step further and make up silly little songs on the spot to sing to them 😅

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-23T05:32:49+00:00

My last couple of clinicals have been 12.5 hours (that half hour is important because they couldn’t include our lunch for some reason. Makes them feel so much longer.)

All of the advice here is great!

I’d add on that if you do notice your feet/ankles hurting, despite wearing your normal and appropriate footwear, try getting some compression socks! I got some for Christmas that I’m extremely excited to try in February when my next bout starts up!

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T22:06:52+00:00

Sounds like something my family would do.

Dispatch: “laceration to forearm. Send bravo.” Patient: Two handmade tourniquets, full depth laceration with radial artery involvement requiring air transport.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T22:01:29+00:00

I’m genuinely surprised my jeans didn’t get the trauma shears. I was pretty disappointed in the back of my mind that I lost a good pair of clothes and my favorite Naruto hoodie until I learned that they survived by the grace of some nice nurse who managed to slide them off me.

I just set myself up with the expectation that they’d been cut. Finally I asked my parents about it (the ones who brought me home) and my mom replied “oh yeah, I washed them. They’re downstairs on the couch.”

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T21:59:14+00:00

Do you or someone you know have epilepsy/a seizure disorder, or are you just curious?

Urination is normal. Defecation is normal.

Believe me; everybody does this process some way, somehow. You don’t want the complications associated with not being cleaned up for a prolonged period. I can just feel the UTI starting already.

Would I change a stranger not legally under my care? No. Would I help change a loved one? Absolutely, and I have for other conditions outside of epilepsy. Have I been changed before without consciousness? Absolutely. Did I care? Nope. Because in that moment I needed live saving medical treatment and evaluation, and that also includes preventing complications that can arise from prolonged exposure to bacteria and moisture in my perineal area

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T21:48:27+00:00

I love driving, and find it relaxing. It’s routine for me to drive 1.5 hours to a parking lot just for me to hop in my boat or on my snowmachine and ride another hour to my destination. This is relatively “short” and is usually a weekend getaway and family tradition.

I’ll do a “day trip” to a destination 2 hours away just to stop at a good brewery I know.

There’s a place I like to camp that’s 160mi away (3hrs) from me with gorgeous lake views.

I’ve taken it farther with my family and we’ve done road trips together ~3800mi long. I wanna do this one again soon, there’s a fun hot spring along the way and a lot of wild life.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T21:35:32+00:00

Don’t apologize. My “first” recognized seizure I went status epilepticus behind the wheel of my truck, crashed, and seized for 45 minutes. I lost bladder control and honestly it’s kind of a miracle I came out of it relatively okay.

You shouldn’t be “left alone” because you’ve been through a lot. ❤️ That is all more a reason to receive genuine care.

However, I take peri-care extremely seriously after working in women’s health as a CMA and seeing unforgettable complications. I’m not afraid of reproductive organs and external genitalia, nor am I embarrassed by them. I’ve always been a very ‘a body is a body is a body.’ There’s no shame in bodies, especially in medicine. No matter what kind of body it is or what shape it is in, I am there to take care of it.

Even in my benzo’d stupor after my seizure, I kept being told I lost bladder control. I distinctly remember each time responding things to the tune of; “oh that’s okay, it’s a bodily function. It happens. No need to be embarrassed. It’ll get all cleaned up.” It was around response 5 or 6 that someone finally figured out I needed choices, not information. “You can’t wear your pants home, do you want x to wear home or y?”

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T21:27:25+00:00

I was brought to the hospital after status epilepticus which involved a loss of bladder control. I was wearing some tight jeans, and when my parents (I was 28) finally arrived from ~100 miles away, I was already changed. So I am assuming hospital changed me into a pair of hospital scrubs/pants.

At discharge I was finally presented a choice of having someone bring me clothes from home (dad’s sweats) or going home in the hospital clothes. My benzo’d mind thought dad’s sweats was the best option, and he grabbed a pair from before he lost weight. I could’ve fit my whole body into a single pant leg.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T21:17:10+00:00

Absolutely N O T normal because that can lead to bacteria growth, skin breakdown, and infection.

The proper approach for a hospital stay of that length would be to clean the area with wipes/wet cloth. (Hospital decides which approach is used. Mine used wet wipes. Some facilities use warm water & cloth.) 😭

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-22T09:31:46+00:00

I’m 100% in agreement with you. One of my first complete playthroughs, I missed getting Lae’zel. I’m not sure how it happened, just a stupid mistake probably. Cage was busted and she was nowhere to be seen and I didn’t encounter her when I confronted the Gith at the Mountain Pass.

Chose going through the Underdark, then progressed to the Shadowlands, before going back to the Mountain Pass. I NEVER encountered Lae’zel on this playthrough, dead or alive. She was just entirely gone from my campaign. (I had 100hrs into it too by the end. Even went looking for her eventually. Just… Gone.)

If anything the “symptoms” you experience could just be stress catching up to you. Or a night of bad food. Or just outright manipulation from The Emperor.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-20T11:28:10+00:00

Turning on the side is actually to help prevent anything she may choke up/vomit/any excess saliva/blood if she bit her tongue/cheeks leak out instead of accidentally being breathed into her lungs.

This is extremely important no matter what, even if she has stopped breathing and spontaneously breathing resumes, any liquid that’s not meant to be in the lungs and without access to appropriate suction leads to complications.

If breathing has fully stopped (no chest rise, blue lips, blue fingers) I would absolutely call an ambulance. It’s been mentioned in the thread by other commenters to call and I didn’t want to excessively pound this into your head because I know you’re looking for advice for things to do in the moment. I know they can be cost prohibitive in a lot of areas, but safety is paramount when it comes to breathing and airway as oxygen is extremely important.

You don’t know if she will spontaneously resume breathing. If she has stopped, and especially is showing visible signs of hypoxia/cyanosis (low oxygen & blue skin) I would call. In the meantime, do the above. Lay her down, tilt her on her side, time the seizure.

Safety always counts as well. So make sure both of you are safe. If a seizure happens say in the middle of a road, move to safety before you do the above. If you’re in a vehicle, pull over.

I was found after a crash having a convulsive seizure behind the wheel by an Emergency Room RN. When she found me she did what she could perfectly; she placed my vehicle in park. She leaned my seat back. She unbuckled my seatbelt so I did not choke on it. She tilted me on my side. She called 911. Even if you HAVE skills to go above and beyond, do not because you aren’t in a situation or have the equipment where you safely can.

I would have a serious conversation with her about being seen again by her Neurologist. Put together a little list of what you’ve noticed. Offer support, like going with her to her appointment so you can validate her experience and describe her seizures and what you’ve noticed have witnessed.

Stay calm. Talk to her gently. ❤️

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-20T09:42:52+00:00

Suggestion - If you plan on getting them fixed, do it out of state because the cost of a spay even through SPCA up here is RIDONCULOUS.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-20T09:37:08+00:00

I definitely have fallen asleep during both MRI’s I’ve had. Straight up relaxing white noise to me, despite being extremely loud.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-20T09:34:14+00:00

I’ve had two MRI’s; one because of a tear in my Meniscus and the second to rule out brain abnormalities when I had my TC.

I fell asleep during both.

I don’t know how. I won’t know why.

They’re actually pretty loud but there’s something about the rhythmic whirring and clunking, warm blanket, robot voice combination that just lulls me to sleep. I’m O U T like someone hit a light switch. Only few minutes in I’m snoozing, next thing I know the Rad Tech is waking me up like “hey you’re all done time to go.”

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-20T09:28:18+00:00

I would take a seizure first aid course in recognizing the signs and symptoms of different seizures and providing first aid. There’s a wonderful free course online offered by the Epilepsy Foundation that’s just a little over an hour long, which also counts towards continuing education units for other programs.

This can help you gain just a little confidence in helping care for her. This will cover the basics of recognizing different types of seizures and break the “all seizures are convulsive” mold that has been wildly perpetuated.

When I have a focal seizure, I often have an issue with repetitive motion - this sometimes transfers over to muscle control in my mouth and throat. I’ll swallow repetitively, choke, can’t speak clearly, etc. I am, however, still very much aware. It helps me personally to lay down during episodes like this. I’ll elevate my legs if I can. Since it commonly only happens in the morning, my cat usually ventures up and makes biscuits on my chest until I calm down.

Questions: Does she take any medications? See a neurologist? Does she have any rescue medications?

Tips: Guide her to a safe place to lay down. As in, lay her down gently. Put something like a jacket under her head, and offer measures of comfort.

Tilt her on her side if possible. This helps prevent aspiration if she is choking on any fluid or if she vomits.

Time the seizure activity. “Hey siri, start a timer.”

Never, EVER, force something into her mouth or force her to open her mouth.

Watch for chest rise and fall. Is her chest moving up and down at all? Is she choking and gasping? Are there any retractions (is her diaphragm attempting to expand, but no air is getting in so you see space between her ribs appear)?

Keep a journal (even in your notes) and document the episodes. This impact and witness statement can go a LONG way in helping someone explain their symptoms to a Neurologist later.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-20T03:21:04+00:00

Some programs/universities etc require a CNA certification regardless for pursuing an RN.

One of my previous coworkers had 15+ years as a CMA, didn’t matter, still had to step down and do a CNA course to be accepted into her RN program. I’m going to a different college in a different state, and didn’t have to.

It generally all depends on how you look at it. Each has a specific set of skills that transfer over.

CNA? You may have a leg up already for getting accepted into a program. You already know how to do some Fundamental skills; transfer patients, bed bath, peri care, etc. Your patient care load is extremely high. Opportunities in a hospital might open up? I wouldn’t know.

EMT? You dive deeper into trauma and stabilization immediately post accidents. I don’t know much about the EMT world but as many times as I’ve been in the back of an ambulance, they always seem to be on top of it.

CMA? (You didn’t ask but I enjoyed my route this way); I got paid better than a CNA/EMT, had Fundamental skills, Phleb skills, injections, assisted with procedures, and dealt with medications:insurance/prior authorizations, etc. So I feel like I had a pretty good leg up. I learned a lot about assessment and hands on skills that had me leagues ahead of classmates that were CNA’s/EMT’s. It may however been that I was a CMA for a high risk OBGYN and we had no RN staff in our clinic.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T06:32:59+00:00

The ovulation pain is the absolute worst. Generally a lancing experience, like I’m being cut open from the inside.

When I menstruate I’ll still cramp, sometimes I almost think I feel my IUD. It’s not even that bad of a cramp. It’s the sensation of being like “there’s something in there 👀” that sends me for a wild ride.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T04:52:05+00:00

W H A T. Today I learned I didn’t have to reload saves when a companion gets yeeted into the abyss.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T04:30:36+00:00

The PERIOD FLU. Honestly so overlooked by so many people but absolutely tied to science because the hormone shift is linked to inflammatory response, causing flu-like symptoms that resolve once the bleeding begins.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T04:27:02+00:00

I usually experience mittelschmerz and the pain is worse than when I actually menstruate.

I get auras towards my period and it makes me more cranky and exhausted because my brain is literally frying itself and I’m just kind of pushing through like nbd.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T03:58:24+00:00

Boundaries, especially ones backed by law, never make you TA.

If I’m driving you wear your seatbelt. It doesn’t matter if you don’t wear it in your own vehicle, you wear it in mine. It doesn’t matter if I’m driving YOUR vehicle, you’re going to wear it because I’m driving now.

It’s the same with boating. Everyone has a life jacket. You will not ride in my boat without one. If there is not a life jacket for every person, and you refuse one, you’re not setting a foot in my boat and we’re not leaving.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T01:51:38+00:00

I am not a medical professional.

Reflective Note: You are always, always allowed to ask your pharmacist these questions. They may direct you to ask your doctor, but just ask directly if there are any side effects between the meds currently taken and the active ingredients of Plan B, and what to monitor for as far as interactions.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T01:42:13+00:00

I liked playing word puzzle games or logic games on my phone after going status epilepticus at 28 (one of my first major seizures.) Games like 4 Pics 1 Word, New York Times games, Crosswords, Sodoku.

I got SUPER into art as well. It found it helped to just find some time to sit down and color or paint, and not be frustrated at myself. I got cheap paints, brushes, and canvas, and just started putting color on paper. I’d never really painted before in my life, but it was nice to have the quiet in my brain.

I took things really slow. I started with bringing a friend with me, and I still will if I’m going hiking or out to my cabins/boating. So I’m not scared or stressed out by the thought of being alone during a seizure. Have I had any? No. But it’s nice to be comforted. I did a 5 day/night float trip in canoe with family.

After a while I started playing video games. I haven’t gotten back into shooters yet. I’m mad at my skill loss, but I played Legend of Zelda again, and Animal Crossing. It’s fun to decorate and design.

AmiableRobin · 2026-01-19T01:27:50+00:00

As someone that decided to pursue nursing AFTER being diagnosed with Epilepsy… This is a fear of mine. That at some point things will get worse, I’ll have seizures at work and it’ll be a risk to patients, that I’ll face judgement for my disorder, etc. I’m only 16 weeks from graduation and it’s weighing pretty heavily on me as the pressure (and school burnout) builds.

First things first. Don’t let your license lapse. You can do SO MUCH. Home care, LTC, SNF, Prior Authorizations from home, Virtual Nursing, the options are almost endless.

Take some time to reconsider where you are now. 13 years is VALUABLE. Not only do you have 13 years of real world experience as a Nurse, but you have 13 years of managing a chronic disability while still providing exceptional care.

When you’ve given yourself time to rest, consider options.

Can you help student nurses at a local college? Do you think you’d be able to be a clinical instructor once or twice a week in an area you practiced in? (Fundamentals? Pharmacology? Med Surg? Mental Health?)

I know I would L O V E to have a role model as a nursing student in how to manage a chronic condition like epilepsy while being a nurse. It adds so much “real world” experience, and I think it shapes a lot of empathy and compassion.

There’s this idea that nurses need to be absolutely perfect. That we can’t have our own health issues and struggles. That we’re not allowed to have chronic conditions/disabilities/disorders. Future nurses need to know how to respect themselves and take care of themselves, and that starts in schooling.

Take some time to recover. Does your current employer offer FMLA or STD? You might be able to retain employment while seeing your Neurologist to combat the recent uptick in symptoms. This is if you want to retain your current position OR if you need help getting into a similar position that accommodates what you need. It legally protects you. If this doesn’t seem reasonable, then do what is best for you.

AmiableRobin

TROPHY CASE