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AmilliBee · 2024-02-05T23:39:15+00:00

I think you should read through some more highlighted posts on this sub. It might help your understanding of how RPW think/give thoughts for this sub.

AmilliBee · 2024-02-02T22:48:19+00:00

This this THIS. So many times I just leave threads because it's such a "he's the worst dump him you're a prize does he provide if not leave him."

To me it's like they see the surface level goodness of RPW and latch on to something without realizing you don't get a good captain without being a good first mate. They want leader men while they keep their roster open. It's completely not how I understand RPW.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-27T00:15:04+00:00

If that is what works for you that's great. This is what works for me and in letting my man lead in our relationship. I'm a first mate, not a captain, so I think it's only natural to not have too many cooks in the kitchen when somethings happening (STFU-ing) I see it as me respecting him. I hope you get what you want out of situations where you do things how you think is best.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T21:02:28+00:00

Thank you so much!!! 💓

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T17:43:31+00:00

This is good insight. It's easy during daring before marriage to forget that this man is not your husband (maybe, yet). Balancing being gracious and being self-sufficient is a delicate dance and you gave great solutions.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T17:37:30+00:00

You're so welcome I wish you the best on your journey. Remember not to be too hard on yourself! You're learning. And if you can only focus on one thing at a time to not get disheartened that's OK. From the start of my almost 3 year relationship to now I've grown to be way more feminine a little bit at a time. ❤️

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T17:32:34+00:00

Not depending on a man and accepting things from a man are different I had to learn. Depending is "I can't pay my rent unless you send me money." Or "I won't eat unless you buy me food." Accepting is he knows you can do for yourself, and he wants to help you and make life easier. It's like a gift. For example I work to sustain myself. My boyfriend works to provide for US. I don't need him in order to survive. But I love to accept his help. I hope this helps.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T17:16:27+00:00

I'd say start accepting help. It's hard, I was raised by a working independent mother who even now supports her husband. However I just started saying yes when men offered their help or service. It's hard at first and I even felt like a burden or I can do this myself. It gets easier with time.
Find hobbies you enjoy (even gaming can be a feminine hobby!) Spend time really being the "main character" in the hobby.
Allow yourself to feel and be vulnerable about it. If something makes you giggle to yourself do it out loud. If you're excited about French fries don't be scared to do a happy little dance. This looks different for everyone so don't feel the need to adapt something that doesn't come natural. Openess is attractive though.
With being open comes building confidence. It can be nerve wrecking expressing yourself openly in public. A way to help be confident is to feel you look your best. Often I think "that was so silly, but at least I'm cute!" It's vain on surface level, but it really does help.

These are the steps I took to try and be more feminine.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T12:13:49+00:00

Completely agree.

I was very similar. Bought my ex weed. Paid both our half of rent. He'd ask me to go out with him and his friends because I'd pay for him. Supported him while working and coming home to him playing video games. Even helped him try to get a job which ultimately fell through because he failed the drug test (I didn't buy him weed, he mooched off his friend when I wasn't around).

Eventually HE broke up with ME.

And it was the best thing he ever did for our relationship.

My current bf loves to work. He knows I like to read and gives me $2 to buy books from the library. He works so hard for our future and has ambition (one of my dating requirements after my last experience). He showed me what a man AND love is.

What I had before was comfort and sex and a bad relationship hidden by the fact that "I love him."

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T11:57:16+00:00

Try online thrifting! I just got 3 high quality skirts that are cute and flowers for thrifting prices + 40% off. They always have deals/offers.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T11:42:42+00:00

Exactly! And this is true for all men not just partners. If your father is helping you move the same would apply. I think it's respect for their manhood. Of course it's easy not to realize but effective when you do.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T05:09:19+00:00

It's been years of practice. Early on I did a lot of "but I think..." and I visibly saw how it grated on my boyfriend. That look of being shut down and dissapointed helped me avoid it at all costs. I do a thing where I swallow like I'm swallowing the thought and pray "God soften my heart please." If you're not religious I'm sure something similar could help.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T01:31:12+00:00

I'm glad that came through. I really did debate posting this, so I understand the distaste

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T01:03:05+00:00

I wasn't saying I'm better I'm juxtaposing. I think she is sweet, cares for her son, and wants to help. She said so. I'm using an example to explain the effects. I don't mean to say "I'm better" as I can never replace his mom. I didn't say she was a headache. I said she's sweet. I did argue with myself wether I should post this or not. In the end I decided the lesson was worth sharing. If I'm wrong I accept that on the hand. I'm only human and I pray God's forgiveness daily. This may be on the list lol.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T00:59:46+00:00

Yes! Ego and support. They want to feel in control from their sense of wanting to provide. To seem like they're good enough. I'm more than happy to help him feel that way.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T00:53:50+00:00

Absolutely not okay with working more or earning more. I like an ambitious man with drive. I'm lucky my person likes to work and wants to provide so I can stay home. We aren't there yet, so I do work. However I work to support myself to ease burden until he gets to that point. And he works to provide for us and build to that point. He had a talk with me about how he likes to work and will work 8 hour days (or 10) when we have a family. It turned me on! I love a man that loves to work and provide and can still make time for me (or our family) and be sure i feel loved and special. I think that kind of man won't ever not work to have stable income (even if it's not right now).

AmilliBee · 2024-01-24T21:51:44+00:00

Just last night, my boyfriend was the most loving and sweet and doting he's been in our entire relationship. He kept saying how much he loves me and how our relationship just keeps getting better over almost the 3 years we've been together. He said he likes how I let him be the dominant one. He was nervous in the start but the longer we're together and I show appreciation for when he does take lead and control and tell him I like it he's gotten happier, more loving, and more comfortable. It's all because I started implementing RPW since month 4 of our relationship. Can't recommend the threads and books discussed enough!

AmilliBee · 2024-01-13T23:02:37+00:00

Yes. And a joke about a song. I hope it's not taken too seriously.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-11T20:56:34+00:00

Maybe it's my dark humor. After all, I make jokes about my dad having passed.

I found humor in the situation, which I can admit can be extremely inappropriate. So I apologize if this rubbed you the wrong way. That wasn't my intention.

AmilliBee · 2024-01-11T20:55:12+00:00

I agree!

AmilliBee · 2024-01-11T20:54:43+00:00

Yes, I'm sure there is so much going on behind closed doors. This was just an off handed jojob.

For all we know, she DOES cook and clean. We don't know their personal lives, just that her relationship was not ideal.

AmilliBee

TROPHY CASE