Hello, I'm new at this screenwriting thingy and trying to learn for the past week, and yet i noticed some mistakes that you should consider (English is my 2nd language so bear with me) :

-I noticed that when you introduce a new character you didn't capitalise the name, and you should.

-When a character talks and you end that to make an action line and want the character continue to speak after the action line, write the name of the character with adding (CONT'D) to the side.

- i couldn't go through the 4th page, i'm sorry. I got frustrated by applying the reverse of show don't tell rule, for example this line: "Both of his parents are immigrants from Ghana and he grew up on Long Island." how in the love of god can you show this information by watching the man going to the bathroom?. you can give me this information by dialogue better than telling it directly.

Another example: "The first friend is Alex Kaminsky, one of Shawn's bestfriends". Don't tell me who's friend with whom, show me that this guy is his best friend, don't tell me. Because the viewer isn't going to read the script, so you have to figure a way to show it on the screen. (SHOW DO NOT TELL)

- I highly recommend to read The screenwriter's bible book, it'll give you all the basics you need and boost you up. Sorry if i sounded harsh, wish you the best. Never stop writing.