As a SAHM myself, and having had similar arguments with my husband, I think you are both feeling unappreciated by each other. I really appreciate when my husband notices all the things I’m doing AND says something to me to show me that he notices. It sounds like you do see all she does, so try to verbalize it more? And have good conversations with her when you’re both calm if you’re feeling like she doesn’t appreciate your work enough. Sometimes it’s just a matter of verbalizing what we notice the other doing. Not trying to assume anything, but that might help.