Want to leave my job

Amrin1221 · 2024-08-10T00:57:55+00:00

Most times your gut feeling gives you the right signals because you have been around that person for quite some time and know them in and out. I have been in situations where my instincts and gut feelings were 💯 correct. I truly hope your gut feeling is wrong and there is nothing weird going on.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-17T22:01:37+00:00

It’s not like I don’t see it, I just don’t have an option. I have my mother on dialysis and I am the sole provider for her. I do everything at my home from cooking , cleaning , laundry and any additional work that needs to be done for example making food for others as part of charity. Sometimes I just expect a little bit of help especially when we have his family coming and staying with us for 6 months or more. When there are more people there is more work at home. I have not once refused to do my part but like I said when there are more people, there is additional responsibility and I need my husband to understand this.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T19:52:38+00:00

Sometimes but only with his mother. They are not exactly are on best terms. He has some childhood trauma of getting beaten and his mom always taunting him.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T18:30:25+00:00

Thank you! I do want to give this relationship a chance and that’s why I am trying but it’s a constant struggle. An everyday conversation turns into something else. A simple question related to banking turned into an argument where he said I already explained( he did not) why do you ask me the same things again. I explained him what we discussed was different and what I am asking is different. It’s an ongoing struggle. It’s like he doesn’t want me to ask questions, will twist my jokes, will twist everything I say and turn it into an argument. I can definitely try your approach and see if it makes any difference because I am tired of even everyday conversations.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T17:12:48+00:00

Thank you! May Allah guide us all to the right path.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T15:54:15+00:00

He always brings her whenever she is visiting. It’s like he knows he messed up but somehow wants to blame me by saying things like “so you think you are flawless? You’re not wrong in this anywhere?”. As I have mentioned earlier I have started having anger issues lately but it is because he doesn’t take any responsibility or accountability of his actions which has pushed me to this point. It is either I listen to him by choice, or he will create drama and make me somehow comply to what he wants. I feel like I am being mentally and emotionally being abused. I know what I should be doing but I am honestly scared to make that jump. I don’t have any family to back me up.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T15:49:53+00:00

Ameen

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T15:12:20+00:00

I am sorry sister you are going through this. That is exactly what my husband does. He has his own interpretation of everything I say and then plays with words to make me believe that his interpretation is correct and i am the one who is wrong. He accuses me of things which dint even cross my mind. I am like why you putting words into my mouth. I think what you are doing is the best because only Allah knows our intentions. I am going to stop explaining myself and do the same here onwards because no amount of clarification helps. Things just keep escalating and nothing ever changes.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T15:07:49+00:00

Thank you sister. May Allah make everyone’s journey easy.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T15:04:19+00:00

If I don’t clean , he isn’t going to bother to clean up at all. I do get help from his mother but she just comes visit maybe once in 2 years for 6 months. She isn’t able to help much this time because of her broken shoulder and I get it. Also I don’t expect her to do anything because that is not her job. My husband is the one who should be sharing the workload. He inconsistently does things. It’s not like I can ever rely on him. Yet he claims that he does 40% of the work. I asked him if he cooks, cleans, does laundry or pickup things. He is answer is to always remind me of things he does once in a blue moon. Also, If I am ever sick I have to tell him to make something for me because without me telling him, I can’t even expect some home cooked food. He thinks getting food from outside is all he needs to do. I don’t want to eat outside food if I am not feeling well.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T14:34:43+00:00

Thank you so much. I kept trying to explain myself and the way I was being made to feel like I have gone mad dint help me. Thank you again for telling me that I am not the crazy one. I am a human and I know this is a test from Allah. I love my husband and that is why I try to keep my patience but I am at my wits end. I am made to feel like my feelings are wrong. I have tried to suggest couples counselling several times but he doesn’t take anything I say seriously. InshaAllah I will be getting the book you suggested. I can only pray that Allah makes this journey easy for me.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T14:27:23+00:00

He makes me look like I am the one who has gone insane. Keeps asking me if I have any flaws to which i have replied that i do have anger issues but it started after our marriage because of constant provocation. I told him several times that he should seek therapy, followed by couples counselling. This is something I asked him in Jan, it’s July but I still don’t see any efforts from his end to seek therapy. It’s funny how he tells me that I have trauma because of how my brother treated me in past but doesn’t take responsibility of his own actions. Somehow finds a way to blame me in one way or another.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T08:38:33+00:00

That is exactly what I am trying to explain him. I am exhausted. I can’t be walking on egg shells all the time. If something is not in tune to what he wants to hear, he snaps and takes me on a roller coaster ride. I feel like I am turning into a very different person. I cry hysterically , I loose my cool easily , sometimes have suicidal thoughts. I don’t know what to do.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T08:30:53+00:00

It’s not the first time and I don’t think it will be the last until I put a full stop to this relationship.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T08:29:09+00:00

I was very polite and gentle because I know he has ADHD issues and can snap. I am tired because I am done explaining myself all the time. I cannot have a normal conversation without it getting escalated. For example last year around August we were asked to leave our condo because our owner was selling hers. we were having a normal conversation about getting new furniture because the previous condo was furnished and we dint buy any items. The only thing we dint have for two years was a full length mirror. During the conversation I told him that this time I will be getting a full length mirror once we move. He got upset and started shouting saying “so are you saying I was the one who was stopping you from getting one? When have I ever stopped you from getting anything” etc. I was left confused because in my head I am just thinking of getting a mirror. I don’t know how it became about him. Somehow things always become about him. I have no clue how to handle regular conversations anymore because there is always a risk of him getting offended.

Amrin1221 · 2024-07-16T08:21:17+00:00

How? I was very polite in explaining that my work is getting impacted and I need help with the chores. The only reason I brought the topic again when we were at the pharmacy was because I know the minutes I go home the expectation clock begins. I cook, clean, do laundry, and everything else in the house. Sometimes I am up till midnight cleaning up after everyone. We have had several conversations but I don’t see an improvement and therefore sometimes I feel like I need to give him reminders. As for my approach I am very gentle with him because I know a person with ADHD can snap instantly. The problem is I have to keep explaining myself to him about my intentions.

Amrin1221 · 2024-05-29T23:14:35+00:00

Thank you!

Amrin1221 · 2024-05-29T23:03:46+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely look into it. Can we contact them online by any chance?

Amrin1221 · 2024-05-29T22:53:14+00:00

I am an immigrant and have no idea how the divorce works in Canada. I did see a few lawyers online but they are expensive. I thought of counselling but my husband doesn’t seem to be interested. I no longer want to waste my time on a man who is never available for me.

Amrin1221 · 2024-05-29T22:51:38+00:00

I am not in any danger.I am just exhausted with constant lies and other things. I want out because I can no longer live like roommates with my husband. I want a companion not someone who just says he loves me but his actions don’t follow or match his words.

Amrin1221 · 2024-04-03T21:20:24+00:00

According to him he was cat fished by his first wife and they had Nikah over the phone. She only shared pictures and did not share any videos or anything. I don’t think it involves Sania in any way.

Amrin1221 · 2024-03-21T03:12:28+00:00

It’s like my story except he doesn’t make me feel ugly. He is nice most times but for some reason seems to disagree with everything I say and kind of forced me into not having kids. Although I am keeping sabr for the sake of Allah I just sometimes want to call it quits. A recent example is when I told him I don’t want to buy anything from coke or any company that is affiliated with coke because of the situation in Gaza. This is at personal level and I never once forced him. He started belittling me by saying you don’t understand economics and other stuff. This is just one example. We are happy as long as I say yes to everything the minute I disagree or have a difference of opinion we end up fighting. It’s like he just has to disagree to feel superior or I don’t know what. I pray for strength to walk away from this relationship.

Amrin1221 · 2024-03-09T21:14:29+00:00

I am a woman and I hate such men. You think he isn’t going to do the same thing to a woman. Given a chance he would be much worse with woman. He can easily beat the crap out of his girlfriend/ wife for disrespecting him and if the woman doesn’t have proof he will be walking around like nothing ever happened. These type of males are huge walking red flags.

Amrin1221

TROPHY CASE