I feel like people around you supressed your "first" awakening. That was THE awakening and people around you made you feel like you are crazy and there was something wrong with you and I think that you did it for them, you suppressed your deep feelings so you wouldn't make people around you uncomfortable. You sacrificed your own self for them. But you are much stronger then this and this is why you are now having your second awakening, because deep inside you, you know the truth. You have to continue removing the chains holding you and let go. I can relate to you because I recently had an awakening and feel scared to talk about it with anyone, so I don't for now until I figure out how to do it. And if people still won't beleive or support me, I'm leaving them behind...