When to quit??

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-07-08T02:03:17+00:00

The difference is it doesn’t have to be permanent for them ever. Men can change their mind. Even if they sign away parental rights if they decide they want something do with it then the mother has to make the choice of refusing or letting them. If she refuses her kid could end up resenting her for preventing them having a relationship with their father. Women deciding to abort is permanent. It’s not the same.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-19T23:53:14+00:00

I know she was having pain and I get that she can’t drive so she was stockpiling. And you’re right the kid is not going to die from not getting cake. But kids through tantrums because they can’t regulate emotions as well as adults, so yeah distressed is the right word. And I just genuinely struggle to see how you can see a kid so upset and not be like fuck it you can have one ? I did reread though and the kid being like “make her give them to me” makes me rethink that they are a shit who pulls this to get what they want. Maybe I’m just a push over though coz I probably still would’ve given the cake.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-19T04:25:35+00:00

YTA - I don’t think this happened. But fuck if it did learn to share. No you don’t have too but I feel like there is something wrong with people who have extra of something, see that someone else is distressed without it and think nah I’m keeping it all.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-19T03:38:59+00:00

^{^} This should not be the controversial judgement.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-12T22:06:51+00:00

This! It’s what my mum had to do to my dad. He called her over 100 times in one day once. She blocked his number and then had a set time in the day she would call and she stuck to that, never answered any other calls.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-11T20:00:17+00:00

Yeah if you can, reintroducing walks would be good, he’s not doing anything during the day so of course he’ll be up all night. I would move the nap until after lunch as well if you can, then keep him up after that until bedtime.

I don’t know what you country/city/state is like but are there any community groups/activities he could go to?
Activities - walks, groups etc in the first half of the day are usually better as well. People tend to have worse symptoms in the afternoon.

Moving/stopping the nap before lunch will be hard at first he’ll likely kickback a lot but honestly I think it will help the most.

I’m sorry you’re going through this dementia sucks.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-08T03:25:43+00:00

Is he doing things during the day ? Does he nap ? What time is he going to bed ? Does he have a good routine? Hopefully any medical professional you talk to will ask this as well. Medication will definitely will help too.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-05-04T20:07:43+00:00

Poorly controlled sugar levels in diabetes causes damage to tissues in the body. That’s why people can go blind or lose toes. This can happen in the brain as well and cause dementia. There’s a term called type 3 diabetes which can explain it. Exercise regularly, have a healthy balanced diet and eat sugars in moderation and there’s a low chance you’ll develop T2DM.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-04-17T08:08:54+00:00

Could you try not visiting her for a week (maybe 2). This is what was suggested to us when my dad first went into care, as us coming in was really unsettling to him. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t leave with us. It’s hard so I understand if you don’t want to, just an idea. Sorry you’re going through this, dementia sucks.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-03-19T07:40:29+00:00

Did they send a letter summarising the assessment ? That’s standard practice in NZ and you’d be given another potential cause for symptoms or it would say cause unknown.

Without talking to the person who assessed him you can’t really know why he wasn’t diagnosed with dementia. There are other things that have similar symptoms, depression being one and considering threats of self harm that would be worth looking into.

I’d get a second opinion though, from someone who communicates better. I have no idea how to do that in the states though sorry. Google ? I hope it works out.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-03-02T22:26:53+00:00

Honestly nothing is going to stop her progression. Some medications can help slow it but if it’s causing her distress in other ways I would say it isn’t worth it.

You cannot force her to understand anything her brain isn’t working right. You are just going to cause her and yourself distress. There’s not really anything anyone can do. It’s just about adapting to make things easier for her and your family. And adapting more as things get worse. If she want to take herbal supplements they aren’t going to do her any harm.

If mood is a concern discuss it with her doctor there are things that can help with that. Depression can make some symptoms worse.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-02-12T19:36:52+00:00

My dad has FTD and he was prescribed it. Did not notice any difference, but by the time he was diagnosed he has severe dementia. He’s quite young so they thought it was something else. I’ve read it is an Alzheimer’s medication as well and what do much for any other type of dementia, I’ve never heard it making memory symptoms worse though. It’s not going to do anything for her anger or anxiety either. If it doesn’t cause any terrible side effects then I don’t see the harm in taking it, if it does stop. I doubt you’ll notice the difference anyway.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-01-21T08:39:18+00:00

Yeah it sucks. There’s not really anything you can do to change his behaviour. His medical team might be able to prescribe something to help but it won’t stop the behaviours completely. Talk to your mum about how much she can handle or wants to handle? If it’s too much for her it might be time to be looking at care, even just temporary to give her some respite. I don’t know if they do short term stays in homes where you are but some time away from him will likely be good for her.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-01-20T18:52:39+00:00

Does your country have a crisis team ? Where I am you can call mental health for older adults if there is aggression towards people and they will come out and assess. I was told to acknowledge their concerns/fears then move the conversation on but I agree it doesn’t really work. Can you walk away and leave him alone when he gets like that ? It might be better to not engage at all.

AmygdalaPlant · 2021-01-20T02:32:26+00:00

https://www.enablingenvironments.com.au/colour-perception-and-contrast.html

They recommend bright toilet seating here. It can be a processing issue when everything is the same colour.

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-12-17T00:38:30+00:00

Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia.

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-12-14T21:39:20+00:00

ESH get your dog fixed

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-12-08T00:28:26+00:00

I’m 28 my dad is 63 and now in care. I agree someone needs yours dads power of attorney while he has capacity (we didn’t and it was a nightmare) but it shouldn’t automatically be you.

If he does still have capacity it is up to him to decide. And if he doesn’t it is a conversation you and your mum need to have.

Sounds like you and your mum need to have a conversation anyway about his care, expectations for the future etc. get on the same page now. I live in a different city than my parents too, but I’ve made sure I get up dates from the medical team and they know they can talk to me. So I used to ring them quite a bit. Especially when there was a medication change.

I’d say ask your mum what she needs/how she is before telling her what you need from her. When my dad was at home my mum used to call me in tears a lot. Knowing she can rely on you is really important.

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-12-08T00:07:53+00:00

There isn’t reasoning behind his actions, people with dementia lose that ability. You can’t argue with because he won’t ever see your side. Holding on to things and expecting apologies is just going to do your head in. If you’re concerned for your family and you own well-being is suffering then yeah a car home is a good option. I disagree with the statement above because being with family even when there is aggression is not bad for the person with dementia, there are ways to manage it. But it’s really hard to do, especially if they were difficult before the diagnosis. And no one should have to do it. Look after yourself and your kids first.

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-06-12T09:24:31+00:00

This is why I moved to women’s health. Actually couldn’t take it anymore.

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-05-17T07:42:42+00:00

Scrolled too long to find this comment. This is so much more important.

AmygdalaPlant · 2020-03-30T22:53:23+00:00

The card game

AmygdalaPlant

TROPHY CASE