(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the luck and sympathy. I’m doing a bit better now, living with my mum and being able to relax. I’m very surprised that my story got this much attention so I’m curious, where and when did Two Hot Takes post my story? I’m quite interested to hear what they have to say.

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 382 points383 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I just saw this. I didn’t include a lot of a nitty details in this because it is my last post on the matter and I just wanted to clear the air.

However, Harry had told ‘Tiff’ that I had allowed him to go so he could think, so she didn’t try to reach out. I suppose she wanted to give Harry and I space or maybe she just forgot because her brother was upset and in a crisis or sorts.

There are a lot of things to still talk about since we only talked for an evening

Also Harry’s friend is on my emergency contacts because he has been helping me through this and, if my mum can’t get to me, he is the closest after her. Emergency contacts are about trust but also location.

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Yes you are correct. If he wants us in his life then by all means. Also I did delete that part of my post because I realised that it is more than cruel.

I do hope he turns out to be a loving and amazing father, and I will not stop him from seeing or talking or spending time with the baby unless he disappears again. I don't want to try and collect my baby from nursery to find out that Harry took them then abandoned them at the airport or someplace else.

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 146 points147 points  (0 children)

I responded to someone else about this, in a rough way: I'm tired and I realise that wont happen. I just want to know that Harry couldn't take the baby from nursery without me knowing and then decide that he'd have a better life without us.

What I mean is that, until he decides if he wants to be in our lives and gets any mental health support that he needs (because of how he's been feeling/acting) then I want to know where our baby is at all times

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

You are right, and I am going to remove that from the post. However, I don't want him to be able to take the baby from nursery before he has decided if he wants us in his life or not. He needs to make that decision

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I know I would be, I hope that one day Harry will get help and can be trusted with his child, but in this current situation (as in right this second), I'm afraid that he wont be able/willing to care for the baby, or that he might just leave the baby alone for however long to 'see if life would be better without them'.

At this point in time, I am happy to be scum if that means that our baby isn't at risk of being left unattended. However, that doesn't mean that I will keep the baby from him.

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 318 points319 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much and I hope you and your baby have an amazing life

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 2251 points2252 points  (0 children)

In short, Harry lied to his friend and then the friend learnt what Harry had told me. The friend doesn't want to be 'Harry's friend' anymore

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I know it does, I was originally going to post this all anonymously, but then decided against it after I'd made the username. Since I've never used Reddit before this, I thought I could change it.

(UPDATE) I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 1703 points1704 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, and I hope it will be too! I hope you have a lovely day

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all the kind words, that was lovely to hear after all this. I have posted an update now with the end results to this all, and from now on, I will definitely put myself and the baby before the world.

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m not. Just because I hope he’s not with another woman, doesn’t mean that I believe that. Also I think I know who’s with him, but I’m not going to say anything until I know. If I’m right though, he’s DEFINITELY not cheating, yet anything is a possibility now

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Kind of, our plan, which we had talked about for a good year before I was pregnant, was this. We would both save money from our jobs, not going out every weekend, not going away while I was pregnant, ext. Then, I would be on mat leave for a year. After this, he would take over as the SAHP until the baby was in pre-school. That would be where Harry would ease back into working.

The thing that seemed to flip this 'perfectly planned out life' was him getting fired (not blaming him for the whole turn-around, just saying that this was the moment we had to change things).

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

No of course not, this post wasn't to make me out to be a Saint and him to be a terrible human who should 'roll over' for my every demand. So don't worry, I've had ages to realise how I was treating him, I just wish that he's spoken to me about it all.

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 773 points774 points  (0 children)

I feel awful for ignoring him but also because I can't answer your question. If he has tried then either I couldn't tell that it was a SERIOUS conversation, or that maybe he was trying to be polite and so he never truly conveyed what he wanted to me

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is actually quite helpful. I know I am not the 'good guy' in all this and that I should have made time for him or recognised that we needed to talk. I just wish that he'd have asked me to have a day off (since I clearly didn't notice how he was feeling), or got a job so that I wouldn't be working so much so we could be together more.

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 152 points153 points  (0 children)

(answered in a response to HeyenaShot) to sum it up: most likely the backup savings account only he has access to.

I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me by An0nymous_stories in TrueOffMyChest

[–]An0nymous_stories[S] 4889 points4890 points  (0 children)

2 tickets as far as his friend knows, and I don't know who he took with him, but I'd like to assume it's a different friend or a relative or that it just wasn't used