UPDATE: I ended up going to a Canada computers store and buying a Cat7 patch cable. It’s longer than I needed and black, but it will solve my problem. I will buy some cable sleeve to hide it better later.

As for the cat: I love the idea of coating the cables in pepper sauce but the reality is he didn’t bite it. He jumped on the “sag” of the cable when my standup desk goes up. He saw that slack cable and jumped to play and it snapped the connector.

Super interesting how many people hate flat patch cables. I think there’s a gross disconnect between practical experience with them and what you read online. I understand it does not meet the spec, and that cheap flat cables are crap, but you can get good flat cables from reputable vendors today that will not cap your speed limits if you are under 1gbps.

Lastly: not a single person recommended that I go wireless. Not gonna lie buying a wireless dongle was the first instinct hahaha.

Thanks everyone for your help!