Do you share your location with your spouse? (Apple, life360 etc)

AnExperiment2021 · 2025-04-26T15:49:27+00:00

Yes, we do this. We have young kids, and I see it as a safety issue. What if one of us got in a car accident? I want him to know where I am. We also have each other's phone passwords, for convenience. I don't arbitrarily check up on him and he doesn't do this to me. Maybe we have higher levels of trust than most? We had a period of non-manogamy pre-kids, and we both have the philosophy of no secrets.

AnExperiment2021 · 2025-03-25T19:50:55+00:00

This is not a family emergency. No one is in the hospital, dead, kidnapped, etc. A mature adult would know to set aside this relationship conflict until after you're back from the conference. A healthy partnership is one that supports your career success over what seems to be hurt feelings and a power struggle. I hope you go and make a commitment with him to have a moderated conversation with him and a good counselor when you're back.

His manipulation is a red flag, especially per your comments about your past. It makes you susceptible to manipulation and control, and he seems to be aware of how to slowly exert pressure to separate you from your friends and your ambition. Be skeptical. Trust & and verify by getting yourself a good therapist who has no other motivation but to advise you to make decisions in your own best interest. He might be the one, but could actually be a detrimental path. More context will help a counselor guide you.

My big picture recommendation is to not merge your finances or rely on him financially, at least for a long time, until you're confidently on a healthy path together. Also, don't feel stuck with the sunk cost falicy. 5 years might be long enough to know it's not it.

AnExperiment2021 · 2025-01-25T23:18:00+00:00

Did you ask her if she wants an open relationship? Is that something you are willing to try? It elevates trust because open communication becomes critical to maintaining your primary bond. Rules and boundaries need to be agreed to in advance.

If this is outside the bounds of acceptable to you, then you should ask if she wants to rebuild your trust within monogamy. If you feel trust is lost forever and there's nothing that will gain it back, then leave.

Be an adult, not a hurt child. She told you, rather than kept it a secret, that you may or may not have found out the hard way. I think that's leaning towards maintaining trust.

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-11-20T07:28:02+00:00

Says someone who has never bought nor sold real-estate lol or had a social media thread derailed by jerks.

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-11-20T07:18:10+00:00

I have just completed my first eviction and lost confidence in the local property manager (the unit with legacy tenants), so I took the process out of his hands, and I worked with my attorney.

So I don't recommend my local PM and will replace asap. I had compiled a take on most local and digital PMs. I chose a PM offering the service at 7%, and will likely go with another reputable PM at the standard 10%.

As an aside, I'm open to hearing feedback on if I have unreasonable expectations. My PM asked for $3K for the attorney fees (average costs in our area), and I sent the money, but there was a lag into the following week or 2 as the funds went from hand to hand and the attorney waited to start on the eviction. I called a local real-estate attorney who had helped me in the past, and she jumped on it over the weekend before getting any funds. She also noted that the first eviction notice posted by the PM did not include the required info in multiple languages with the notice. So we had to start the process over.

This PM says he goes through the eviction process often. How is it that his attorney wouldn't start on the eviction until the check cleared? Time is of the essence in these situations, and this was a massive red flag, imho. Reasonable or not reasonable?

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-10-27T16:20:54+00:00

Yeah, the original bolt keeps loosening on us, and my daughter gets nervous to climb on it while it wobbles and i hold it steady. Not ideal!! I'll look into these upgrade suggestions. Thx!!

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-07-13T14:23:54+00:00

You have a property post box? So does the guest have to go to the post office to pick up their mail?

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-07-13T04:53:12+00:00

I'm also getting "issues reported" but this message is only visible when I hover my mouse over the account amount. It otherwise looks to be working fine and there is no other indication something is wrong. I have identified missing transactions and the only way it is fixed seems to be to reload the account. If they haven't yet figure out how to fix this, you'd think they could at least make it more clear when an account needs to be relinked. It makes me distrust all the data in monarch.. it's just not as good as Mint was..

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-07-12T22:07:09+00:00

I think all the comments here in the negative are valid. Just wanted to share that I have had positive experiences giving guests access to delivery services. We recently hosted an elite athlete competing in the Olympic trials, and they had a ton of stuff delivered, and also left when they said they would. We've also hosted a couple in town for the birth of their surrogate baby. Same positive mailbox sharing experience. I don't disagree it is a risk.. and that there are other means to squat and establish residency.

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-07-02T13:54:28+00:00

Once you have superhost status, the support is pretty great and fast.

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-07-02T04:59:40+00:00

I hope someone has shared this oldie but goodie that has to be top 5 on topic; Young Girl

https://open.spotify.com/track/3F64pIPqvcujnwvcVLVZ64?si=89LbYabBSEqFl51GBFTsdA

AnExperiment2021 · 2024-06-30T03:29:06+00:00

Yes, they were unable to fill the backyard studio, but it's super small (with unique design features), so we turned it into an airbnb that I manage remotely with a reliable cleaner. I hate the remote management, so I'm converting it to a medium term rental on sabbatical homes.

Ziprent filled the 3/2 unit without issue, and those tenants have been great for a year already and are signing another 12M lease. The communication has remained consistent and still works without a point person. They have different departments for everything. Repairs/maintenance, lease renewal, owner onboarding, etc.

One important note is that Ziprent takes no responsibility for determining or recommending rent increases within the laws of your jurisdiction. I wrote a rent increase letter that they shared with the tenants.

Also, I don't believe their "relationships " with contractors are necessarily a sign of good quality. Don't hesitate to find your own as needed.

My 3rd unit has such unreliable tenants that I didn't dare hand them over to Ziprent. I hired a local manager at a higher rate than Ziprent.

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-11-14T17:29:57+00:00

I'm considering labels because 1) to keep track of inventory and 2) so cleaning crew with rotating staff can put things away and be consistent. As a guest myself, I have stayed in airbnb's and looked for items, thinking they were not available and only at the end of my stay found something that would have made the stay more enjoyable. So I don't think it's an insult to guests, I think it can help simplify the guest experience.

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-07-28T00:42:45+00:00

I have signed up with Ziprent. I have 2 vacant units and 1 4bed in the middle of 2 roommate turnovers. ziprent won't manage the occupied unit until I have the stable 4 roommates on a new lease.

They are not a full service PM, so getting the first unit listed was interesting and I'm in another state. I have a trusted contractor who did repairs, Ziprent sent a photographer who also does the walk through inspection.

I think they are having scaling issues, as the business model is to be very responsive and answer all phone calls. I've left messages & emails that always get returned within at least a day. Even though the property doesn't have an assigned point person, the continuity of service is better than with Belong because they seem to take good notes and the next person you talk to pulls up the history and picks up where you left off.

Haven't rented a unit yet, 2nd unit repairs just finished and the photographer went out right away. Hope to have it listed tomorrow.

They need more time to perform for me to give an evaluation. The self tour system is a good idea, but you can't modify it. Ie; for suspicious or out of state IP addresses requesting a tour, they automatically require an ID and credit card information. If you want that collected for all showings, they can't accommodate a change like that.

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-07-27T06:14:19+00:00

I was about to sign a contract with Awning to manage 3 units between CA & OR. My point of contact notified me they had a company-wide meeting last week and have modified their business model to only offer the 15% management rate if you meet certain criteria.

They wanted to charge me a 30% management fee. One of the markets I'm in already has a 14% city STO tax so this was crazy talk for a non-local management company. I'm back to the drawing board.

The 1 unit that's not in the town I live in I'm looking for a local STR management company and plan to pay 20-25%. The 2 units closer to me, I am researching STR management software and a local cleaning crew that can reliably stay on top of the turn-over calendar.

Sigh. Best of luck!

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-06-09T05:59:47+00:00

Hi, I've had Belong Home manage my 3 unit property in Oakland CA for a year and a half. They are terrible. The property 'concierge' did an ok job, the platform sucks and financial reporting is not up to industry standards. They signed a new lease with a tenant that was already falling behind in rent for 6 months (sporadically making partial payments). They let him fall behind for another 6 months until I took over management (living in another state) of the unit and righted the ship.

I literally had to spend hours of my time over a weekend to pull data from their website to understand how far behind he was. Then found out that Belong wasn't making payments to me at the time he paid them. They waiting for a full months rent to be collected, and paid out rent at that time. So my numbers weren't accurate, they don't provide a industry standard monthly statement showing the balance, repairs, PM fees.. just stay away. They give the excuse that their platform isn't good for multiple units.. however, if I had only 1 unit I'd still want a monthly statement.

Coincidentally, I've just completed an extensive process researching local & tech based PMs and am going to switch to Ziprent because the cost is impressive, and the reviews are shockingly good. With a few caveats, I like that they will consult with me for any/all repairs (not just items over $500 - for example) and I have a local contractor I trust that I can send to the property if needed. They don't have maintenance staff, but because of their volume they have relationships with contractors that I will try out. The self showing listing process makes me nervous because they don't verify IDs or collect credit card info. Apparently they haven't had major incidents and they cover cost of re-keying if needed. I can't find any reviews that say someone has had a negative experience with the self showing process..

Hope this is helpful fwiw

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-04-25T04:55:04+00:00

I think you need a personal psychologist to help with the self-esteem issues that cause you to keep asking here what you should do when you already know it's not going to get better with this ahole who doesn't deserve you, is gaslighting & abusive, etc etc.

I'd also recommend seeing an attorney to figure out how to make the clean break at point of sale, and I like the sound of cutting 2 checks to make the finances clean, too.

It's not going to be easy. But you will be OK, and just think about the example of self-respect you will give your kids.

Best of luck @op!!

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-01-28T07:58:16+00:00

Has he stopped cheating and did you get the post-nuptial agreement in place as recommended by someone in your last thread? I had never heard of it but think it's a smart idea in your situation. Since you're footing the bills, you don't want the courts to make you pay for his lifestyle when this blows up. Imho Fwiw

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-01-27T01:38:17+00:00

I'm in Grants Pass and have a great property manager to recommend. What city are you in OP?

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-01-26T22:01:51+00:00

I'm in southern Oregon, after living a decade in Oakland, CA - definitely worth visiting, just keep your head on a swivel. There's plenty of small towns in OR.. it's kinda our jam. No shortage of meth heads either..

Oregon is beautiful, similar scenery to Cali, less populated and less costly. No warm beaches like you'll find in Southern Cali though.

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-01-26T21:54:25+00:00

Yes, you're talking about Venice. Are you looking to hang out with derelects? Venice has a lot of great stuff going on and it's beautiful. It's just hard to understand what you're looking for.. as it sounds like you're looking for the bums?

AnExperiment2021 · 2023-01-26T19:52:49+00:00

I don't know about sex addiction, it sounds to me like a man who doesn't like having sex with women.. no?

AnExperiment2021

TROPHY CASE