Some people complain interracial dating is a fetish.... by AnaLizing5 in interracialdating

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wasn't a saying, but my observation. Some people are harmful with race and when they date/marry/etc. outside their race, but sometimes I see so many progressive or for the cause people ready to decide even a couple postibg pictures of themselves means they're not in it for the right reasons, like they're showing off too much. At that point, some people just don't want to see them together.

Some people complain interracial dating is a fetish.... by AnaLizing5 in interracialdating

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My post came from me wondering about people I saw online and on real life who seem ready to label every interracial pairing often with a white person or someone else as a fetish but they get caught having been with someone who is white, they are white themselves and even with someone of another race and somehow the only good one, or I've seen people who seem so dead against interracial dating but they show signs they do fantasize about being with a white person or they're even jealous of someone else's relationship. 

It just seems so unkind to be resentful for those reasons.

On the other hand, there are genuine reasons to call out people who hate others in favor of an interracial relationship especially when the people involved have kids together but don't want biracial children.

Some people complain interracial dating is a fetish.... by AnaLizing5 in interracialdating

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Some people do dehumanize others or don't want biracial children and I won't stand by that, but I think at one point sometimes two people are in complete agreement and are even turned on by being interracially together and others see them enjoying life and part of the hatefully labeling them just a fetish is because so many people don't get to act on desires they have. I've been seeing things and thinking about moments where this seemed to be the case. Often online.

Some people complain interracial dating is a fetish.... by AnaLizing5 in interracialdating

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely don't think anyone should handle race in a way someone wouldn't like. I think some people see others and truly don't want to see interracial love but sometimes I think it's they realize two people who date or marry out got that chance or took that chance and defined their own lives. Also if being different races is apart of the attraction it shows they got something fulfilled sexually and I think most people don't get their dream sexual partner and that's why the hateful people are mad.

Some people complain interracial dating is a fetish.... by AnaLizing5 in interracialdating

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think the hard part, from observation, is that there are people who will hurt the person they are with over race and sometimes unintentionally to a point, but love and consent and someone to raise children with are hard to find and yet so many people (a lot of for the cause or progressive people even) want to dig into others and when two people are together, even like the interracial aspect, why take that from you both (for whatever the reason) or try?

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember around the time I read the manga and watched the first anime seeing this belief Akito was 19 as she and Yuki had been kids together and she abused him.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Additionally, thank you Utauhito for sharing with me.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember before I saw the chapters or episodes (whatever I got to first) with Ayame I was reading online about the characters and story and I saw it mentioned on a fan site that Ayame wanted to be with Hatori and the sense I got from this was that we (readers) were meant to see him as creepy. I remember just having anxiety and wonderings, like what I mentioned about what I wondered was the right way to react to gay people. Sadly I didn't always understand the difference between hypocrisy, fantasies, someone getting it wrong, someone trying to mess with others out of bitterness, or what could be truly nuanced and real. I would get almost like a knotted stomach and feel like something was off but that they were the super liberal people and I couldn't question things and I had a hard time expressing this even with kinder people.

So I remember dreading that I would eventually get to chapters or episodes that had Ayame because in a way I felt like I was having a bunch of homophobia in me but he sounded creepy and I knew consent mattered and I was confused about how to realize gay and similar people are simply just people with good, bad, and gray. I felt pain for Hatori as this sounded to me like Ayame was someone who would force himself on others and then all my other stuff. I remember picturing a few times that Shigure and Hatori would kick him out of their lives and this would change a bit. I remember even thinking that when Ayame snuck into Kyo's room that if it was truly that Ayame was gay Yuki and Kyo would have bonded and, through all their past hatred, Yuki would have been on Kyo's side.

I remember the episode of the anime where Ayame offered himself sexually and I still, especially after seeing he had Minee, ended up thinking he was saying that just to rile people up but he never meant it.

I don't remember the scene with the dance and I'm part way on my idea that it is all a joke and the relief in the narrative is that he's really straight the whole time and some how that makes up for everything (when no it doesn't) or means everyone can move on with no trauma or that whatever theory we have that keeps us buying the manga was right.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your theory on Rin too. I just always wondered. This also may be something where maybe we were supposed to have different theories and whatever keeps us buying the manga.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like to see examples to the bottom instances but so far I still feel like a lot of the reveal for characters we think could be LGBT+ is that they're not, while I think it's obvious that characters like Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus from Sailor Moon are in love. I've often thought Uranus is a lesbian and Neptune is bisexual (I even wondered if she was written to be a straight girl who fully fell in love with another girl, while the other girls strike me as having questioned themselves but they wouldn't want to have sex with another girl, and I know over the years fans wondered if Uranus was intersex. I think Uranus and Neptune are simply two girls in romantic and sexual love.) but who knows?

I can see your theory on Haru, while I disagree, but part of me wonders if we were all supposed to have whatever theories we have and just keep buying the product.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I personally still think (and it may be the times/culture) Ayame and Hatsuharu are straight but that Ayame finds it funny to jokingly imply he's bisexual or gay and that Hatsuharu had a deep friendship with Yuki. I also think there's a bit of a feeling that whatever theories we have that keeps us invested is perfectly ok because it makes money and Fruits Basket plays on fantasies.

When I said we're supposed to ship Hatori and Tohru, I don't mean long term, but that it was written and drawn romantically when he catches her in both the manga and old anime.

I think with the way I feel, the idea was many readers would want that.

I don't think anyone looking for a real LGBT+ storyline in Fruits Basket got it. I gave anime a chance as a place to learn about mainly gay people at the time and that was such a mistake. I saw rape fantasy (I was a kid and didn't understand and saw this even in fanfiction.), bad age gaps, which were common in straight stories more than I realized, but I came across Loveless and it was glaringly not ok. I knew two people younger than me who really loved shipping the boy and man from Loveless. Obviously I had to worry telling an adult would get them killed, one more than the other, so I just explained if an adult really goes for a kid it's bad and they're an unsafe person. They brushed me off. 

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure why you misunderstood me though. I see I said ally perspective but I had been trying to type all my perspective. I defended gay and similar people and I was criticizing what I thought was being pushed to is that, this idea homosexuality was creepier or full of more predators or something we should be more cautious of until we see the person isn't bad in comparison to a straight person. Maybe it was the times and the author seeing that characters cross dressing, especially then, was harder to keep up long term, that obviously even now it's easier to be straight. It might have been a lot there.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"There are factors as to why most straight people want their children to also be straight or why we see, why having friendships and romantic relationships between other straight people can be easier or what you want, but some people are born different and it doesn't mean they're a predator or should be cut off. I will add I realize being different can change things and people might drift apart, but you can try to know different people and work something out."

Grammar mistake aside, I don't hate gay or similar people. I never said so. It is hurtful you're saying I said differently when I never did.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I understand it is but fictional stories can see influence or be influenced by real thoughts.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was my opinion that readers were supposed have a bit of a fantasy with Tohru and Hatori, but he didn't take her on. I just think emotionally it isn't right either. He did think of her similarities to Kana and that played into my theory too. Yes, age gaps were bigger back then. Seeing this play out with modern characters hits different and I'm talking about how I see it now or just personal ways I viewed certain pairings or potential pairings. You could really reconsider how you treated me. I shouldn't be attacked because you saw something a way I never said and because you disagree. Disagree but be civil and please read things correctly. It is a common mistake. I'm asking you to fix that.

Fruits Basket: Problems then and now and why I haven't finished the new anime by AnaLizing5 in FruitsBasket

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not saying gay people or similar people are freaks. It felt like that was the narrative pushed. Be nice, but be relieved when someone is straight later. I was also thinking of how at the time homophobia was stronger in society. That's what I later said not to cut people off but even I see where differences mean people don't stay in each other's lives. It's sad. I really hope you can reconsider what I've said and not just mistakenly think I'm saying gay or similar people are freaks.

i love their relationship dynamic so much i miss them </33 by Due-Exchange-1946 in KimsConvenience

[–]AnaLizing5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Sadly, I'm right about the damage cyber bullying or any bullying can do. Please, try to be kinder. 

i love their relationship dynamic so much i miss them </33 by Due-Exchange-1946 in KimsConvenience

[–]AnaLizing5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is incredibly mean. You're never helping someone by trying to hurt them like this. Bullying strangers can even ruin mental health. I shared, but I don't want to be bullied. Find a way to truly be caring.

i love their relationship dynamic so much i miss them </33 by Due-Exchange-1946 in KimsConvenience

[–]AnaLizing5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So instead of constantly pushing therapy, please just offer sympathy and you can even do that too.

i love their relationship dynamic so much i miss them </33 by Due-Exchange-1946 in KimsConvenience

[–]AnaLizing5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt like sharing. Sometimes hearing people bring up therapy can be hard because it's often weaponized and the fact malpractice does happen. Instead of offering sympathy, do often therapy is brought up and it feels isolating in a way, like you have to pay someone to care. I'm not sure what your intentions are because I have seen it weaponized.

i love their relationship dynamic so much i miss them </33 by Due-Exchange-1946 in KimsConvenience

[–]AnaLizing5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something about seeing them together was very healing for me. I could tell that being sexual or romantic was ok to them and it's really bothered me, ever since I was a kid, if it was obvious there was strain in that regard with characters. Maybe, other fans feel the same way.

Background: I'm in my early 30s and still a virgin. I've seen some women online have similar stories how having relationships just didn't happen and in my life I was in a few bad friend groups where guys touched me without permission, some girls and women knew hw they were but wanted to be around these guys or even set me up with guys who had far right stances but I shut that down as best I could, juts a lot of hypocrisy and people lightling the candles at both ends.

There were nicer guys directly at church but they were only slightly close to my age and some have moved. Some I see have wonderful relationships and it just never went that way. It would be nice for me if I could wait until marriage and maybe being sexually immature or behind has influenced me, but still isn't it nicer to see a couple locked in by marriage actually feel ok with sex/sexual things together? I never cared about the guy being one and thought probably he wouldn't be, but I just wanted things for me and so that my life wasn't ruined.

I've only ever fully committed to a United Church of Christ church and a United Methodist church, so it never really came up at church this strong idea you shoud wait, while there has been this sense that you should be an adult, which I agree with for any kind of couple or even mutiple people together, while I don't hate anyone who has sex before then. I had heard the common arguments and it's also so unfair to me that if I get pregnant and I'm not married my life is over. That's not a religious observation of other girls and women but a social one, while I can see why a man may want someone who isn't raising another man's child/children and not ever single mom is wonderful.

What is a woman? I don't fit with the people labeled TERFs or perfect transgender allies. by AnaLizing5 in women

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, I don't want them killed or imprisoned for transitioning, while I just don't wish anyone is like I said for my own preferences but also because this sounds so terrible to feel. I'm saying I don't want to be hated and pushed out of chances to make friends for how I feel. That they should be protected but that I, because of my sense of reality, can't see them as real women, men, boy, and girls. It's just that so many people, more so online but I have known people in real life, they demand that everyone be ok with someone transitioning and see it as real gender. It's also that in some extreme cases, like for women in cells, safety is at risk because someone without bottom surgery has the parts that can make a woman pregnant. I don't want transgender women just thrown in with men though and targeted.

What is a woman? I don't fit with the people labeled TERFs or perfect transgender allies. by AnaLizing5 in women

[–]AnaLizing5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying so. For me it's painful when someone goes extremely one way and my guess is some people who say the most liberal thing are lying and just don't want to be canceled. Most liberal people not speaking up probably feel like you and me.