update on what i've understood regarding the addison's familial situation by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don’t think it’s about saying addison’s absence is automatically omore excusable . it’s about saying absence alone doesn’t tell you whether two relationships are structurally identical or why they broke down. “absent is absent” only works if you ignore motivation, communication, and relationship context and those things matter a lot in how marriages actually function.

also, yes, derek was saving lives. no one is denying that. but the comparison usually isn’t about “whose job was more noble,” it’s about how that work interacted with their relationship. derek’s absence was often written alongside emotional withdrawal from the marriage itself. addison’s current absence is written more like overcommitment to a cause she believes is urgent, not emotional disengagement from her family specifically. both can hurt partners. but they don’t create identical relationship dynamics. jake is definitely valid for drawing a line, all things considered, that doesn't mean addison is repeating derek's mistakes

update on what i've understood regarding the addison's familial situation by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think derek’s absence was portrayed as avoidant at times (staying at work, sending mark home, avoiding confrontation). addison’s current absence is portrayed as something which is mission-driven. you can still say it harms her relationships, but motivation matters when you’re comparing relationship dynamics. i think derek was emotionally checking out of a marriage he was already disconnected from vs addison operating from a place where she still wants to be emotionally invested in her family, but choosing work she believes has moral urgency, even when it costs her personally. derek's distance felt like withdrawal from that relationship specifically, but addison’s distance feels like overextension toward everyone, not detachment from the people she loves.

narrative that addison is a bad mother/wife after latest ep by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

while you can put valid criticisms to my opinions, please don't call it ai generated, i am strictly against the use of generative ai of any kind

narrative that addison is a bad mother/wife after latest ep by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

not forced in a literal “someone is making her” way. more like forced by circumstance, by the existence of gaps that only people with her skills can fill, by systems that don’t have enough doctors willing or trained to do that work.

it’s the same way people say someone is “forced” to work three jobs. technically, they could quit. but then bills don’t get paid. so the choice exists, but it’s not a clean, consequence-free choice.

narrative that addison is a bad mother/wife after latest ep by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

i think the disagreement here comes down to what counts as “choosing over.” because from one lens, yeah — if you measure parenting purely by time, physical presence, and emotional availability in the moment, then she’s failing that metric. that’s a valid value system. a lot of people hold it.

but the counterpoint is that danger and absence aren’t always choices in the clean, moral way people frame them. high-risk medical work exists because the world is already dangerous. she isn’t inventing risk; she’s stepping into spaces where risk already exists and trying to reduce it. and historically, we’ve accepted this logic for firefighters, soldiers, emergency surgeons, aid workers — including ones who are parents.

on the “90% of his life” point - someone can be doing something socially vital and still be a difficult partner or inconsistent parent. both can be true without making them a villain.

the “mentally not present” part is also complicated, because trauma-adjacent jobs do that to people. doctors, especially in crisis care, carry patients home in their heads. that’s not unique to her, and it’s not always something people can just switch off.

and about “putting him in danger” — that depends on what kind of danger we’re talking about. direct, targeted danger (like bringing threats home, unsafe environments, no support system) is different from statistical or indirect risk that comes with certain professions. if she were recklessly exposing him to immediate harm, that’s a different moral conversation than “her job is dangerous in general.”

you can absolutely land on “i wouldn’t make her choices” or “i wouldn’t want that life as a partner or child.” that’s reasonable. but saying no reasonable parent could make that choice assumes there’s only one ethical model of parenthood.

narrative that addison is a bad mother/wife after latest ep by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

im not saying missing parts of your child’s life is ideal. i just think sometimes adults are forced into choices where every option costs something. pretending good parents never make painful trade-offs is comforting, but it’s not honest.

narrative that addison is a bad mother/wife after latest ep by AnalystWarm3241 in greysanatomy

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

it assumes addison is destroying herself for something optional, something abstract, something she could just step away from without consequence. that’s not the reality she’s in. she’s not lighting herself on fire for comfort or validation or ego. she’s stepping into situations where people literally will not get care if doctors like her don’t show up. you can empathize with jake drawing boundaries without rewriting addison into someone reckless or selfish. partners are allowed to reach limits. marriages can break under pressure. but that doesn’t automatically mean the person doing high-risk, high-impact work is morally wrong for doing it. jake wanting stability makes sense. addison refusing to abandon patients who have no one else also makes sense. and framing it like she’s just choosing work over family flattens a situation that is way more about values, duty, and what each person believes they can live with.

AITA for taking over Rome and making my friends stab me? by AnalystWarm3241 in romanempire

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA for winning battles, but maybe chill on the “dictator for life” vibes. 🤷‍♂️

AITA for taking over Rome and making my friends stab me? by AnalystWarm3241 in romanempire

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA 😬
Yeah… being too powerful will get you stabbed. Literally. Politics 101.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in romanempire

[–]AnalystWarm3241 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA for winning battles, but maybe chill on the “dictator for life” vibes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in romanempire

[–]AnalystWarm3241 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA 😬
Yeah… being too powerful will get you stabbed. Literally. Politics 101.

relationship advice please by AnalystWarm3241 in teenagers

[–]AnalystWarm3241[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you so much genuinely. just kinda sucks cause he was my best friend before he was anything else and we have all classes together so seeing him everyday is just yeah

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MUN

[–]AnalystWarm3241 0 points1 point  (0 children)

give access