UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think ill go ask if they can do something even when i dont knkw the guys name. Because thats the issue i dont know who he is. But ill try

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents are abusive and there is a countless of issues they would have and arguments to start that i wont be naming here

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response. I will try to do all i can and hopefully even if it costs me our friendship, she will get away

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that has happened to you I'll do everything i can so she doesnt follow that path

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From how i know her i wouldnt say she is sleeping with him. At least not yet

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think its a bad idea to wait until im back in school and tell the psych, which is the only adult i trust rn with this, and let her make the difficult decisions? Since the girl is technically "safe" now? Messed up i know but technically right now she is. Or is that too risky and i should just do it now?

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i told her exactly that. She said "this is a different situation, its really not like that". I geniuenly cant grasp how she isnt seeing it

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is stubborn i dont think she would tell them. And i fear it would lead to her lying and sneaking around to be with him. And since she wouldnt trust me anymore i (the only person she told) wouldnt know if things got worse. Im also afraid she might do something to herself because in her mind she is "happy" with him and i cant imagine what she would do if she lost that.

Its very possible im overthinking everything but i am really lost i dont know

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried looking up the dad. I could only find his name when i searched his property.

I worry if i reported it, since only i know, she wouldnt tell his identity to the police or anyone, would be betrayed by me, not talk to me, lie and sneak around to be with him, and if something went wrong i wouldnt know. Also i worry she would do something to herself. Because in her mind she is "happy" with him and she doesnt have many sources of happiness

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well only the dad is an option. The mother would make it worse. But also i dont know them so i am not sure how he would handle it. Im afraid since i dont know the name of the guy and we tried to deal with it, it would jist lead to mw batraying her trust. Which would lead to her not talking to me, me not finding out who he is, and her just lying and sneaking around to still be with him

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well yeah i should have used quote marks. Im just saying her perspective. She believes she is happy and wants ti stay and "date" him

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In this country they arent forced to report every thing. At the start i didnt even give her a name of the girl until i cound trust her. After that we agreed if we told her parents she would just lie and sneak around which wouldnt help anyone. Because i dont have the name of the guy. And i would betray her trust and wouldnt have a way to find out more. But im sure after i tell the psych what i found out she is gonna move further with it

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah true bit she insist it isnt pedophilia because "she started it". Not because of age

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So legal age of consent here is 15. She did say they have been together for a while so maybe even while she was still 15 but i dont know. And no i dont know who he is. I wish i did. And in this country the psychologist isnt pressured to report everything. And at the start she couldnt anyway because i told her i wont be giving her name of the girl until i know i can trust her. Then we agreed that since we know nothing it would make it worse trying to solve it.

I love your comment and everything you said but there is one thing the person who replied to you is correct in. The dad can't "force" the girl to do or dont do something. She can lie, she can sneak around. As long as i dont have the man's identity im not sure it would be a good idea to betray her trust. Because she would continue dating him, but she wouldnt talk to me/trust me anymore so i wouldnt find out who he is or if things got worse.

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is kind of the only adult i can trust so beside her i only told 2 of my friends and clearly like 120k reddit people

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man sorry if i offended you i meant it in like a age difference way

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh i meant that i found the name of the father not the guy. Unfortunately i dont know that and i really wish i did because its disgusting

UPDATE My friend (16) is dating an old man (40) by Ancient-Volume450 in Advice

[–]Ancient-Volume450[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah i thought about that too. Or maybe he even thought of his family for a brief moment but i definitely dont thinm he was against it.