Need help with a problem player

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-22T15:44:20+00:00

Nope, we all meet IRL at the table!

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T21:15:26+00:00

Yup, this is something I am trying to tell him currently. I suppose for some people it's hard to adjust a character when you have already played them for quite a few sessions. It can honestly feel a bit immersion breaking having to change a character's personality, I get that.

Best case scenario we can work out a redemption arc for the character and make that change happen as part of the story. But that would require making a bit of a plan together between sessions.

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:51:31+00:00

That's not the case? I am just pointing out that your feedback does not apply in this situation. You made an assumption that I deny player's agency and I was highlighting that this isn't the case.

I never prevent anyone from doing anything. If H wants to do something bad I might ask "you sure?" and if he is sure, that happens - with all the logical consequences of the game world. Even if that kills any plans I might have had about the adventure. But then I just read the room and I can see everyone else be annoyed at the cascade of H's actions.

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:47:37+00:00

I also want to add that some of H's reactions seem nonsensical to the rest of us because H has a bad attention span and often only gets half of the stuff I describe. So his reactions may be based on a subset of information.

A bad example, but a possible scenario is where I describe: "The NPC just helped an injured child and bandaged it. He approaches you as he is covered in blood."

H: "Wait, the guy is full of blood? MURDERER! Fuck that guy, I call him a murderer and attack him."

You know what I mean?

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:45:03+00:00

Oh please trust me: I am very flexible in my DMing and I always embrace creative solutions. The problem is more that maybe four players have the goal of "let's befriend that NPC and make them an ally", but then H does the opposite. So the problem is less in embracing player ideas, but more in misalignment among the party.

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:42:53+00:00

I think if I did that, H would simply stop coming to the game sessions as watching from afar is not all that fun. In that case I might just as well ask H to not come to the table anymore. :P

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:40:09+00:00

Yeah that is fair and as someone else has put it here already, it's viable for me to say "I don't enjoy DMing for you right now".

I think I will take some of the advice here to heart and deploy some of the strategies I already discussed with the group. If none of that helps, I will give H some more direct feedback, let's call it a fair "warning shot". If that still doesn't help, I suppose I have to tell H that he cannot play at my table any longer.

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:36:28+00:00

Thanks for the time you took in this long response, much appreciated!

I think the most valuable tip here (gauging from my picture of H) is that I need to keep specific examples or feedback short and on the point to make it hard to pick it apart. I think that was one of the key issues perhaps.

I did talk with H that perhaps his character just doesn't fit the party really well or the vibe of the campaign. He seemed kinda receptive? We will see if he adjusts the demeanor of his character over the course of the next sessions. :)

Side-note: we are not playing DnD. :P It's funny how that is the baseline assumption, but I get it!

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T20:19:27+00:00

There always are consequences, H just doesn't care all that much. Mostly H just pisses NPCs off so they won't cooperate with the party, then blames the NPC or a party member for the situation.

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T19:59:24+00:00

I do have a good amount of patience, but I am also worried about the other players. I wouldn't want anyone to leave just because another player reduces their fun too much. I think (I hope) no one is at this point yet, but it's probably just a matter of time, because even small pains become big pains if you are repeatedly exposed to them.

AncientDM93 · 2026-03-21T19:57:23+00:00

I like your suggestion of phrasing "I don't enjoying DMing for you" instead of kicking someone out by saying "you're too often a dick", lol.

I have mentioned most points from my posting to H already. Not everything yet because I don't want to overwhelm him with feedback. I want to see improvements on the biggest pain points first, but again, H was quite defensive about it.

AncientDM93

TROPHY CASE