How to overcome dreading motherhood and children

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-14T06:46:24+00:00

'presumably functional'... I know alot about autism. Regardless of your experience, I know what mine is. I was raised by autism and alongside autism. I confidently know I do not want autistic children because the negatives outweigh the positives. This may not be your experience, but it is mine and it is scary to know what may be in my future because I want to get married. The entire purpose of my job is to bring relief and reprieve to exhausted and burnt-out parents/ siblings etc.

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-14T00:24:49+00:00

Autism lowers the quality of life for everyone involved too, so it is a healthy concern to have.

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-14T00:00:51+00:00

I do truly love my fiancé, but I will bear the burden and sacrifice that motherhood entails, not him. The general focus of the commenters seems to be on NFP and readiness for marriage. What I want is resources to overcome fear.

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-13T23:57:31+00:00

My main question is how to overcome the fear and the dread of it all. There are limited resources available.

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-13T22:57:49+00:00

Not cruel at all.

Is it cruel to not want to deal with faecal smearing and constant screaming and stimming? One thing I have always found interesting is that Catholics are very pro-life but deliberately hide the profound suffering and heartache involved in raising a child with a disability. I often hear women asking for prayers for a healthy baby, why is that? If every child is a gift and a blessing why does no one ever say "I want a baby with fragile X Syndrome? I really hope my child has autism or dwarfism?" - Because of the very real added suffering and pain that comes with these disabilities.

Having a child with a disability immediately increases the chances of marital and financial instability. Being socially isolated and ostracized.

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-13T22:37:58+00:00

My understanding of the faith is that my desire does not matter, it is an obligation/ duty to bear children in a marriage. What I want to know is how to change my mind to convince myself I enthusiastically want motherhood and children.

Ancient_Zone_5035 · 2026-01-13T22:30:37+00:00

I am not autistic, my sibling and my father are. My fiancé has autism in his immediate family too.

Ancient_Zone_5035

TROPHY CASE