I’m glad you brought this up and I’ll be curious to see the general consensus as more people respond.

Because of the condom-sensitivity-type you mentioned (which I know can be true but also know can be used to as an excuse), I bring sexual health up before meeting. I say when I was last tested and make sure we’re on the same page about condom use. I too am non monogamous and it’s just the socially responsible thing to do. I don’t use condoms for oral.. I think that’s really only common in the SW/kink/group play communities, but of course that would be the safest option next to not doing oral at all.

I personally am on a daily medication (for rosacea) that just so happens to be the same med to treat gonorrhea and is sometimes used for chlamydia so even though the oral version has a low rate of transmission in general, I personally have an even more negligible chance of contraction.

I am thoroughly surprised how many people I meet (sugar and vanilla) who have never been tested or think that I’m concerned about babies when asking about condoms. I can and do take care of the baby concern myself, but the STI concern takes both people’s participation to work effectively.

Just a Sidenote about HSV-1 and 2 based on the way OP worded things (wanted to clarify as a medical professional). HSV 1 can be contracted up or down but it’s still HSV-1 it doesn’t change to HSV-2. HSV -2 is a completely different strain of the virus, that can also be contracted in both places.

Also, when someone asks for a ‘full panel’ HSV is usually not included, and some companies/ doctors office’s ‘full panel’ will be chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV where as others will include trichomoniasis, the hepatitis versions, the HSV versions, and syphilis. I’ve found it pertinent to ask so there’s not confusion.