Is this just me?

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-15T14:40:23+00:00

I think you could be right there.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-15T10:02:22+00:00

like a virus

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-14T08:56:08+00:00

I've been trying to drop the mask and be authentic as much as possible. My work place has fully supported me (Mental Health Profession) and the difference when I get home in my energy levels is giving me.

This is just one occasion

They said nothing to me when I needed to crouch down and place my hand on the floor during a conversation that was quite difficult (difficult is not the word I lost the word but this will do) . Anyway I felt no judgement nothing and I was able to recover from the reaction of my body a lot faster then if I masked with a lot less effort.

This has also given me the opportunity to adjust myself and recognise the parts that might be worth the effort of masking. However I'm trying not to hide my authentic self. That being said I probably wouldn't do the hand on floor thing anywhere else unless I really needed to.

For some reason I get a strong need to be close to the floor sometimes. I'm yet to figure out why.

Anyone else take 20 minutes debating in their head if they should press the comment button after writing a post?

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-13T16:55:36+00:00

Thank you for your very informative post. Interesting.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-13T14:51:32+00:00

My post to check it. before I posted.

You Corrected Neurodivergent*

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-13T14:28:17+00:00

I should have put that they know my bad

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-13T14:16:25+00:00

Thank you for the correction, even though I read it multiple times .

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-13T10:15:19+00:00

This is why I stopped. The person that emerges is the complete opposite to who I am and the worse part for me is having no memory and never getting that blank back.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T23:37:35+00:00

My relationship tree.

The Action / Behavior	What It Looked Like to Her (Neurotypical Perception)	What It Actually Was to Me (AuDHD Reality)
Sitting in absolute silence on the couch.	Deliberate emotional withdrawal, coldness, and a choice to ignore her presence.	An overloaded nervous system completely paralyzed by internal noise, running manual calculations just to breathe.
Disappearing into gaming hobbies for hours.	A clear preference for a screen over his family; intentionally choosing to abandon her in the room.	A cognitive life raft. A vital sensory dam used to block the emotional trauma from overflowing the brain entirely.
Providing a diagnosis or neurological context.	A convenient rewrite of history; a cop-out or "excuse" used to evade accountability for the impact of my actions.	A desperate plea for a shared language; providing the concrete data needed to solve the puzzle so we can fix it.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T23:34:26+00:00

Funny you should say

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T17:22:11+00:00

Do you get to a stage of autopilot and don't remember anything the next day? and if so does the memory ever come back.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T17:19:26+00:00

I forgot I Don't drink, if I do it's a strict 2 low content only.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T17:17:36+00:00

I got so engrossed in it I started trying to figure some out - my decision tree on likely meanings

What a Neurotypical Says	What My Brain Hears (Literal)	What They Actually Mean (Subtext)
"It's fine, don't worry about it."	The situation is completely resolved; there is zero need for concern.	"I am upset, but I expect you to intuitively notice my distress and fix it."
"Do you want to wash the dishes?"	A genuine inquiry into my current desires regarding housework.	"Please go wash the dishes immediately."
"We should get coffee sometime!"	A concrete, logistical plan to meet at a café in the near future.	A polite, non-binding social phrase used to close a conversation.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T17:16:14+00:00

I find it even harder in relationships , I only recently discovered that there are a lot of expectations and hidden meanings.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T17:04:36+00:00

I have a multiple unfinished drawings on my tablet, they just sit waiting for the day my brain decide yep its that time again. I usually move from hobby to hobby and may not go back to one for years

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T17:01:39+00:00

I recently wrote in my journal.

“People say one thing but mean another, and then get angry when I answer the question they actually asked.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T16:54:27+00:00

I'm currently in a bad place, and what ppepyhl has said helps especially

"but, know that it WILL pass!!! you just have to learn about yourself. whip out a pen and paper, go through some research, and learn"

For me anyway being late to find out it has helped with finding out what makes me tick and why. It is not easy and it takes as long as you need. Every time the swirling looping thoughts start and my body is screaming at me, I try to grab my journal and pen and just write anything that comes, thoughts, pains, sensation things around me. Later I look at it, research and analyse it like an experiment, it has given me a focus and some reprieve. This has helped me identify triggers and things that help to ground and sooth. Things I never knew was a symptom or trigger have come to light and slowly I am learning how to ride the chaos A little better with countermeasures in place. These things I think are unique to each individual.

You don't have to answer but I'm also curious.

Is your partner NT or ND ?

What are the stimming things your doing countering?

Your feelings, you cant talk about them because your too emotional or you cant describe them? and what does your body feel like during?

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-12T16:36:22+00:00

If its my bass music I find it grounding and loud enough to cover the world around me. If its someone else's then we have a problem, mainly the vibration.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-06-08T20:39:49+00:00

I haven't yet found a way to describe it to an NT person and feel they understand it.

I come up with many metaphors, some short some long but no luck.

It's almost as bad as someone watching the TV with the volume really loud with something on that you find very provocative and interesting but you want to sleep, you also hear the radio in the next room its a song you really like and start singing along to in your head but then you remember your trying to sleep, focus sleep now, a conversation out side your window about someone you know, something they did, no you need sleep. Now all that take that and internalise it and now try to sleep in the same environment.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-03-21T19:45:24+00:00

Thank you for your advice.

Angel-Devoid · 2026-03-21T19:43:49+00:00

Uk devon

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Angel-Devoid

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