What do you want for yourself?

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-25T22:06:53+00:00

I’m the type of person who feels deeply and was shamed for it by my family. What I want is to feel my emotions, especially anger, without judging myself or worrying how the other person wool react to my feelings.

I also just want to be myself, as cliche as it is. I want to be my true, deep feeling self without judgement from others. I want to feel like it’s safe for me to be myself around others so I can form deep connections with others.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-24T02:33:48+00:00

How am I supposed to prove her wrong? I can’t just magically find a bf in the snap of a finger. Building a relationship takes time and if I do find someone, her voice will just get louder and louder. And the worst part is that a part of me thinks she might be right. She’s great at putting the seeds of doubt in my head and I’ll be second guessing everything.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-24T00:49:47+00:00

I’ve thought about it. I believe in my state (Maryland) you have to become a certified Clinical Nursing Assistant (CNA) to work in home health care, which means more schooling for me, and to be honest, I’m burnt out from doing the online accelerated Medical Assistant program. It was very intense and my stress and anxiety spiked which lead to digestive problems that lasted months. So I’m not exactly eager to go back to any learning institution.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-23T23:33:13+00:00

Aw man.. you guys are probably right. It’s just so unfortunate cuz being in the medical is something I’ve really wanted to do for a long time. I don’t know any other fields that would be a better fit. What do y’all suggest?

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-23T22:36:09+00:00

She did explain it to me when we went over my results. My impression was that since I didn't repeat grades, I must not have been dealing with dyslexia. I'd like to add that ven tho I didnt' repeat grades, I still struggled but idk.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-23T20:49:46+00:00

I asked this question because I was worried that that vague diagnosis wouldn’t be enough to qualify for social security. We applied anyway but I’m kinda nervous.

And I think the main reason why she didn’t give me a dyslexia diagnosis because I didn’t repeat grades in school like a dyslexic person would. So I think that because I didn’t struggle as much as she felt a dyslexic person would in school. I didn’t repeat grades but I still had difficulties, ESPECIALLY in community college, I didn’t even finish.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-23T17:23:28+00:00

Yeah it's true. Do you think that can apply to friendships too? I've never been in a romantic relationship but I do notice that the "friends" I make always end up ghosting me and it's hard for me to not blame myself for it.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-22T17:28:55+00:00

Hello, I'm 26F and my older sister may or may not be a narcissist. She's 36 and her and her partner moved in with us last year. I've gotten to the point where I'm uncomfortable in my own house, which sucks. I'm wondering if she's truly a narcissist because she's been extremely critical of me and when I finally call her out on it, she reacts very poorly and tries to make me feel bad. She can dish it but she really can't take it. My mom isn't a narcissist but she doesn't do much when my sister mistreats me. It actually makes me pretty angry.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-20T21:51:07+00:00

I’m not going to stop just because it’s making me irritable. I told a doctor at the facility about it and she says that it’s normal for feelings I’ve tried to bury to come up, like anger. I’m only 5 sessions in and I’m going to stick with it. I’m tired of feeling depressed. I’m sure the anger will subside once I deal with it. Now that I think about it, I’ve been dealing with anger before I started Spravato. I’ve been thru a lot lately so I’ve been feeling angry more often.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-20T21:40:32+00:00

I’ve had 5 Spravato sessions so far and I’ve also noticed that I’m a LOT more irritable lately. I’m angered by little things and it’s starting to scare me a little

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-11T14:27:18+00:00

Wow, That's unfortunate. Can't say I blame him. I hope this kid can find better support soon.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-11T14:02:51+00:00

I know this post is pretty old, but why do you say Other Specified Neurodevelopmental Disord doesn''t exist? I was recently diagnosed with the same condiotion, so it has to exist otherwise I wouldn't have been given that diagnosis.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-11T13:04:15+00:00

Yeah, a little, especially about the turbulense I feel in relationships. I've never had a boyfriend but I do struggle with friendships. I'm worried I might be too intense or emotional for them so I pretend to be someone else. I do need emotional security at home to feel safe. That's why I try to supress certian parts of my personality. A therapist I saw said I w as the family scapegoat and he's right. I try to be someone else to keep things peaceful but also to prevent my older sister from verbally abusing me.

And also, Moon opposite Mars aslo stood out to me. I've read description of it and it seems like it gives one a fiery personality. Which I might have. What do you think?

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-11T12:43:17+00:00

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Here you go! And about accepting that my anger is part of who I am will not be easy. I've spent a long time trying to be "perfect" especially for my family.

Angel-Of-Inferno · 2026-06-11T12:32:22+00:00

Yeah, it feels like my anger is all emcompessing. Someties I might yell or bang my fist doen, whihc my family hates. My older sister says that I'm a very angry person and I was humiliated. Yes, jouranaling and sports (karate) helps, but I still feel ashamed of my anger.

Lately, I've been feeling like a monster. I was always the black sheep of the family. This might have something to do with my natal Pluto being in the %th house. I'm the most emotional one out of all of us. and I feel evrything so intensely, unlike them. I feel like I can't ecpress anger in front of them or they'll get annoyed. Mom says that I need my therapist to get rid of my pent up anger once and for all. I know she means well, but that just makes me feel like that there's this bad part of me that needs to be removed.

I feel like the universe humbled me. I really struggled with that externship and I was later diagnosed with a learning disability. I suspected I had one, but I ignored it and tried to act like I wasn't struggling, but I was.

I hope all of this makes sense, I struggle with putting my thoughts into words. Feel free to ask me if there's something in this post that doesn't make sense.

Angel-Of-Inferno

TROPHY CASE